hetalia_kink | Hetalia kink meme part 27

Hetalia kink meme part 27

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It’s the lunch hour on a work day. This particular financial establishment is busy with people who, for whatever reason, decided lunch isn’t a high priority. They gather from all walks of life: from the construction worker covered in paint to the affluently dressed woman who gives Arthur an openly disdainful look as her heels clack against the polished floor. The angel, in turn, graces her with a gesture of two fingers and his tongue sticking out between them. Her reaction is far more entertaining than Arthur’s time spent glaring at the devil’s back as he slouches in an upright chair, twirling the star-tipped wand about his fingers.

Meanwhile, evil incarnate is chatting rather amicably with an old man as the line they’re waiting in slowly shuffles forward. Serious looking bank tellers behind computer screens await them at a long counter towards the front, and a twenty-four hour news feed on the latest financial woes quietly drones on against a sidewall. All these people going about their ordinary lives, oblivious to the events that are about to unfold.

Alfred is convinced that after today, mankind will write poems, sing ballads and sculpt marble statues in his honor. On the entire walk here he wouldn’t shut the fuck up about the possibility of someone portraying him as a heroic character in his beloved comic books. How awesome would that be?

Arthur is still waiting for a trick, an ambush, the gates of Hell to open…

...or for Alfred to be completely distracted by a woman with very large boobs who just walked in through the revolving glass doors. The devil’s eyes are so wide, Arthur suspects he’s about to go over and hump her leg like a sex deprived, teenage incubus. Is Alfred an incubus? Arthur hopes not. The angel has seen enough things in his life that can’t be unseen.

Thankfully that line of thought is interrupted by the two men who immediately follow after the well endowed woman. Dressed in black from ski mask to shoes (one carrying a duffel bag), it’s obvious what their intentions are even before a shot is fired harmlessly into the ceiling.

“Everybody down!” shouts the first robber.

The Arthur languidly checks the clock on the wall. Twelve forty-six pm. Right on time.

There are screams, cries and overall panic as everyone scrambles to make themselves less of a target: everyone except one angel and one devil. It doesn’t take long for the gunman to set his sights on the the people who have failed to comply, especially the one who is actually standing.

“I see we have a two dumb bastards who want to be brave cops. Do you have a death wish? I said get the fuck down!”

“I’m not a cop.” The devil puffs out his chest and puts his hands on his hips. “I am Alfred Jones! Deliverer of justice to the unjust; protector of innocents in distress regardless of nationality, gender, age, color, creed, religion or alien species!”

“Aliens...”

“Oh and animals! Can’t forget animals!”

“Do you think this is some kind of joke?”

“If it is, I assure you it’s all on me,” Arthur chimes in.

The gunman addresses Arthur without taking his eyes off Alfred. “Maybe if I blow a few extra holes into your friend over here, you’ll both take me seriously.”

Arthur shrugs. “Do we look like the best of chums to you? Go ahead and shoot him. Maybe in the next lifetime he’ll remember the bullets before he thinks about trying to play hero again.”

Alfred’s stance deflates. “Arthu~r! What kinda angel are you!? You’re so mea~n!”

Incensed, the gunman reaches down and grabs a nearby girl with a ribbon in her bobbed hair. He places the gun to her temple instead. The brave girl winces but doesn’t make a peep.

“Lilly!” exclaims a man who was on the floor next to her.

The gunman grins triumphantly. “Now what, Mr. Hero?”

“Yes, Alfred. What comes after antagonizing armed bank robbers into taking hostages?”

“Ummm. Wait.” Alfred pats down his front jean pockets but doesn’t find what he’s looking for. “I got this.” He searches his back pockets and takes out a piece of paper which he unfolds before reading the words: “You don’t have to do this, Feliciano.”

The man holding the duffel bag startles a bit. “How did you know my name?”

“What the fuck!? I told you to keep your fat mouth shut Feli! Who did you go blabbin’ to?”

“I didn’t tell anyone anything, Lovino!”

“Crap. I got the name wrong. I thought your brother was the one who would be holding the gun. Honest mistake, man! You guys look too much alike! Kinda like me an-”

“You’re such a useless bastard! If you weren’t my brother I’d fit you into a pair of cement shoes and toss your sorry ass into the middle of the ocean!”

Feliciano is nearly on the verge of tears. “I didn’t tell anyone!”

“Anyway.” Alfred continues to read the paper in his hands. “This isn’t the way to help your grandfather ya know. What’s he gonna do when you both end up in jail or dead?”

Lovino presses the gun a little harder to Lilly’s temple. “Dead is this little cutie because I’m tired of playing games with you!”

Alfred frowns at the paper in his hands for a few moments then crumples it up and carelessly tosses it over his shoulder. “Whelp, that was a colossal failure!”

“Bravo.” Arthur slowly claps. “You really had me fooled for a moment there but clearly the day has been saved thanks to you. Well done.”

“Fear not! I have a Plan B!” Keeping his eyes on Lovino, the devil raises his index finger in front of his face. “I call this one, Just How Much Free Will Has God Given You?”

The angel sits up in his chair. “Wait just one damn minute. What kind of name is that?”

Alfred merely grins. “Ready!”

Lovino’s body immediately goes lax and he releases Lilly in favor of copying Alfred’s movement: gun held in front of his face, pointing toward the ceiling. Then he pivots on his heel so that he’s facing his brother. His face is an emotionless mask. His eyes are completely black.

The angel realizes exactly what the devil is planning to do next. “Alfred! Don’t you dare!”

But of course, Alfred does dare. “Aim!”

Feliciano stares in wide-eyed horror as his brother aims the weapon directly at his face.

“Fire!”

The Italian squeezes his eyes shut just as Lovino obediently squeezes the trigger.

…

…

…

When Feliciano finally opens his eyes, his gaze travels down the barrel of the gun, to Arthur’s hand on Lovino’s wrist and up to Arthur himself. There is absolutely no way the punk could’ve gone from sitting all the way over there to standing right before him in a matter of seconds.

“Lovi, he...I…how did you-” Feliciano splutters.

“It’s a bleedin’ miracle,” Arthur growls. “Halle-fucking-lujah.”

Instead of thinking about it all too hard, Feliciano’s eyes roll up into his head and his body hits the floor like a sack of potatoes. Lovino’s eyes clear and Arthur lets him ungracefully drop to join his brother.

Alfred does a celebratory whoop. “Now that’s how you stop a bank robbery!”

Some people start to cautiously lift their heads and get to their feet as the distant sound of police sirens can be heard approaching in the background. Arthur steps over them and around them, but most wisely get out of his way.

The devil’s grin broadens as Arthur approaches him. “How’d I do? Impressive right? The bad guys were all like (His voice lowers an octave.) ‘Give us all your money or we’ll kill everyone here!’, and the people were like (His voice becomes cartoonishly high pitched) ‘Noo~! Someone save us!’, and then I bravely sprang into action and easily defeated the bad guys with my awesome powers!” He’s so giddy over his accomplishment that it takes a while for him to notice that Arthur isn’t impressed in the slightest. Alfred hesitates. “Soo~ I passed the test right? I can stay right?”

The angel’s only response is a mean right hook to the devil’s face that sends the man reeling with the force. Alfred manages to keep his footing and as he bends over and covers his face with his hands, a truly malevolent pulse of rage emanates from his body and ripples across the room. People scramble to the floor in fear once again without even understanding why.

This is it, Arthur thinks. He’s finally going to get that battle he’s been waiting for.

But the malevolence dissipates as quickly as it was felt.

The devil resets and mends his broken jaw with a few grinding cracks before slowly looking up at Arthur with crocodile tears in his eyes. “What was that for?” he whines.

“For thinking you could get away with controlling people like that! For nearly turning a robbery into a murder!”

“I don’t understand. They were bad guys with guns!”

“They were never going to harm anyone. They just wanted to scare people for money and then get out as quickly as possible.”

“How do you know that?”

“I’m an angel you fuckin’ moron! And thanks to your little drop in pretense, we need to go before backup arrives to clean up the mess you’ve made.” Especially a certain someone who would jump at the opportunity to steal Arthur’s chance at a promotion.

“The police?”

Arthur narrows his eyes. “Don’t make me hit you again. Now prepare yourself.”

Before Alfred can ask ‘for what’, Arthur spreads his wings and envelops them both. They vanish from the bank, leaving Alfred’s crumpled note swirling in the breeze of their departure.

~##~

A/N

The woman with huge...tracts of land...is Ukraine.
Lilly is Liechtenstein and the man who calls her name is Switzerland.

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Hetalia kink meme part 27

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