Hetalia kink meme ([personal profile] hetalia_kink) wrote2012-06-03 02:49 pm

Hetalia Kink meme part 17

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part 17


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Rome/Germania -- Goats

[identity profile] hetalia-kink.livejournal.com 2011-01-24 01:15 pm (UTC)(link)
(This is a model request. Please follow this format when requesting yourself: Pairing/character(s) and kink/prompt in subject line, BRIEF elaboration in message -- stay under 200 words and 3 bonuses. Historical background or definition of words, which can be removed without changing the prompt itself, won't count toward the limit.)

I'm requesting something humorous involving the above. Doesn't have to have smut, but smut would be nice.
Edited 2011-01-24 14:36 (UTC)

Alfred gets revenge on a cheating Arthur

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Alfred's just found out that his boyfriend, Arthur, has been cheating on him. The vengeance he takes is epic.

What I want is not physical beat-em-up stuff, or at least not only that, but cold-blooded, ruthless, methodically planned revenge. The more imaginative, the better. Two requirements: Alfred is never caught, or at least never penalized for the revenge acts; and the consequences are long-lasting and serious for Arthur and whoever he cheated on Al with.

Re: Alfred gets revenge on a cheating Arthur

(Anonymous) 2011-02-12 08:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Do you care if it's an AU or canonverse?

(Captcha: 243 novelage?? XD)

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Various nations - based on German TV-show

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:16 pm (UTC)(link)
So, in Germany we have this show called “Genial daneben”. It’s basically a comedy/knowledge show and it works like this:

1 host
5 comedians
A lot of funny/weird questions

The host asks a question (examples: “Why are the church-clocks in Malta always showing two different times” or “Why do men have nipples” etc.) and the five comedians have to guess the answer. This is often quite impossible, but their guesses are usually really funny. After some time, the host gives them the right answer and asks the next question.

I’d like to see that with the nations. Choose whoever you like for host and participants :)

Re: Various nations - based on German TV-show

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 06:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Pffffff, why can I see America!Hella calling England!Hugo an old man? xD

Seconding for the lulz xDD

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France/Romano - Twin Cities

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Since 1956 Rome and Paris have been twin cities, meaning they are exclusively and reciprocally twinned with each other (in Wikipedia's words). The reason why is that only Paris is worthy of Rome, and only Rome is worthy of Paris.

I'd like to see how Romano reacts to being in an exclusive relationship with France.

Bonus: Spain is very very sad and jealous, since Madrid is merely Rome's sister city.

Some Fantastic - France/Romano [Part 1/9]

(Anonymous) 2011-02-02 03:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I.
Romano loves Paris and not just because it reminds him of Rome, what with the history, the culture, the architecture, rabid tourists and disgruntled locals. Romano loves the way the city look when it rains, the young business people, school children, the flower shops, the coffee (although he’d never tell France that) and the narrow little streets in the old parts of the city. Actually when it comes right down to it there aren’t that many things Romano doesn’t secretly or not so secretly love about Paris. Mostly though he loves that France loves Rome, that France thinks Rome is the second most beautiful city in the world and doesn’t hesitate to tell him that, regularly. Far more beautiful then Venice, France had once told him and Romano cherishes that.

“Romano?” Long fingers press underneath Romano’s chin and gently turn his face a little from the window, “are you alright?”

Romano huffs a little even though he blushes also, “just thinking about your stupid city.” He says faintly without any real bite, holding a coffee cup loosely between is hands and France smiles.

“Ah yes, isn’t it beautiful.” France presses against Romano’s back, leaning forward a little to peer over his head and out the window. Romano’s thoughts are completely derailed by the feeling and heat of France’s chest against his back, the other nation’s sent and his closeness. France’s hand slips down to lightly hold onto Romano’s waist, and tips of blond curls brush against Romano’s cheeks, and Romano can feel France’s breath against his hair. He swallows, throat suddenly dry.

“Yes,” he draws in a long shaky breath, hands clenching around his coffee cup, “beautiful.”

He can’t seem to think enough to understand what he’s actually just said even when France laughs. Then he is being hugged tight against France’s chest and Romano presses back, doesn’t think just lets himself melt ever so slightly against France. Then France laughs again, presses a kiss against the curls at the top of Romano’s head and let him go.

“I should start dinner.” France wanders toward the kitchen and Romano sets aside his cup and follows.

“I can make it tonight.” He looks away before he meets France’s eyes, “Who wants to eat your food all the time anyway.”

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OP!Anon here

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France/England, Sealand -- Labyrinth crossover

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I hope you all know the 1986 childrens movie "Labyrinth"? I'd like to see that with France as the Goblin King, England as Sarah and Sealand as Toby.

And a lot of other nations as goblins.

Bonus: I love happy endings, so the story line doesn't have to be exactly the same^^

England can be female if you want.

It's Only Forever [1/?]

(Anonymous) 2011-02-10 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
Alternative title: Why Author!anon should never be allowed to name anything

Ok, I know I said that I was aiming for light hearted parody, but it kinda morphed into something a little more serious along the way. Still a lot of humour, eventually...

Anyway, part 1!



“Give me the child.” He growled at the unseen adversary. “Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the goblin city, to take back the child that you have stolen, for my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great.”

Thunder rolled ominously overhead. Oddly convenient scene setting, given it’d been clear skies while the credits were rolling.

“For my will is as strong as yours. My kingdom as great.” He paused again, this time in disgust. “Talk about trite... It’s no bloody surprise I can never remember that line.”

Arthur drew himself up again, recalling the fierce spirit of the speaker. “You have no power over me.”

The thunder rolled on cue, waking up Merlin, who was an Old English Sheepdog for the sake of ease. The old wizard promptly forgot he was an old wizard, and the mien that such a position implied, and barked indignantly at the sky.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Merlin, or-” He was interrupted by the bell toll of the nearby church.

“Oh, bloody hell, Merlin! I don't believe it! It's seven o’clock!” He grabbed his things from where he’d left them on the park bench, and dragged the dog out of his seat by his collar. “Come on!”

They pelted back across the park as the rain started; an abrupt downpour that soaked them both before they even made it back to the main road.

“Oh come on! That's not fair!” Arthur yelled at the sky as if that would discourage the rain from falling. It just got harder.

Merlin overtook him on the final stretch, desperate to get out of the rain, but took one look at the person waiting for them on the porch, backpedalled, and hid behind Arthur as he came to a halt at the bottom of the steps.

His stepmother. She did not look pleased.

“Well, don't stand there in the rain. Inside.”

Arthur scowled. “Fine. Come on, Merlin.”

“The dog goes in the garage.” Saesona told him, easily matching his scowl. They were far too similar in temperament to not butt heads.

Arthur did not back down. “It’s freezing in the garage! Like hell is he going in there!”

Saesona didn’t back down either. “He isn’t coming in the house, so he can go in the garage, or stay on the porch. Your choice.”

They stood their ground, glaring at each other, but Arthur was the one still standing in the downpour with a canine wizard who was turning swiftly into a steaming heap of wet dog smell.

Finally, he relented, if only so he could get in out of the rain. “Go on, Merlin. Garage.” He pushed past his stepmother and into the house as Merlin whined and slunk off into the garage. Saesona fended him off just enough to keep him from soaking her dress.

“Arthur, you're an hour late.”

“I'm sorry.” Arthur responded without pausing, looking at her or even making the effort to fake contrition.

Saesona was not impressed and caught him by the arm so he couldn’t stalk off. “Your father and I go out very rarely. I asked you to babysit-”

“You go out every weekend.” Arthur spat back at her.

“Only if it won't interfere with your plans.” Saesona continued, as if he’d never spoken.

Arthur raised one thick eyebrow. “And the last time you checked before booking me to sit for your brat was when exactly?”

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It's Only Forever [5a/?]

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It's Only Forever [10a/?]

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Author!Anon: We're moving to PPF6!

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USUK - Pinching kink

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:27 pm (UTC)(link)
this is the first time I made request I hope I made it right
US/UK, based on order with semi-dominating/manipulative UK. we know that UK such pervert ambassador.
AU preferable with human names. One-shot/multichapters welcomed. Art appreciated, Fanfic preferable.

Bonus:
1. US get carrried away and hurting UK in the end. made out session, I will leave to anon creativity.
2, pinch-smut?

Prussia/Romano - Fluff

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Anything, anything, anything, as long as it's fluffy. Just make it as OOC and ridiculous as possible. I mean, make it so bad that it's even difficult to go on writing it. I want a good laugh.

Moments like these 1/1

(Anonymous) 2011-01-25 04:34 pm (UTC)(link)

wait, anon is a troll and forgot that they wrote this yesterday, lol mi vida.
with that being said, please understand that this is my first time writing anything in years. also, i'm not a native english speaker but i really liked the plot so i thought i'd give it a try ;_; my apologies if it doesn't sound like anything that you wanted.


Oh, it was one of those days. When you’re simply sitting in the cold morning air, hot coffee fumes slowly waking you up as you take another sip- “Careful not to burn your tongue, honey” “Sure thing, mom” “Oh, you son of a-”
Coffee tastes best when it’s hot, after all, specifically when your cute tomato faced lover is making it for you, first thing in the morning. For any other person, the mere thought of Romano not cursing and actually being nice is as strange as the image of an anorexic America. But, when it comes to him, Romano wipes off the tough mask. Sure, he gets spicy sometimes and tries to act all macho but somehow they both end up on the floor, planting soft kisses on each others face, shoulders, hair, and generally on every inch of skin their lips meet. It’s as simple as that.
“Heh.” Prussia let out a small laugh to himself. “Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve all of this.”
“Deserve what?” said Romano before taking another sip from his cup. Needs more sugar, definitely.
“This. This moment right now.”
“It’s 06:32 in the morning, we’re having a stupid coffee that refuses to get sweet no matter how much sugar i put in it and it’s cold as hell, how is this special at all?” Oh, but Romano knew exactly what it was that made it so special. Waking up one hour earlier just to inhale his lover’s scent, lightly touching his chest causing Prussia to wake up in a fit of giggles [he knew all of his special spots after so many years] and that eternal “good, morning, my funny bunny”.
“Oh, you. Like that works on me.” Prussia let out another small chuckle and tucked in his blanket better.
“You cold?”
“Well, it’s January and we’re not in Hawaii or some hot place. Wait, Hawaii is hot, right? I mean, their chicks walk around with a few flowers on their boobs as clothing, it’s pretty crazy.”
Romano immediately placed himself behind Prussia, wrapping an arm around him. Prussia just smiled and covered him with his blanket, trying to get as close as possible.
“Hawaii sucks anyway.”
“What if they have huge boobs though?”
“I am not having this conversation.”
This time Romano was smiling as well.


It’s little things like these that constantly remind him how much he loves this kid. And he knows that the other one is thinking the same thing.

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Anyone/Anyone - Radio DJ AU

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Nation A is a radio DJ whose show is on at weird hours (3-6am? up to writer!anon) and one day, Nation B comes across his/her show while channel surfing. Nation B falls in love with Nation A's voice and slowly finds that his/her voice is strangely, oddly arousing...

Bonus: Nation B calls in to Nation A's show and faps to his/her voice.

Re: Anyone/Anyone - Radio DJ AU

(Anonymous) 2011-01-25 06:44 am (UTC)(link)
Seconding! Would totally fill if I ever have the time... -.-;

Filler~

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OP IS ECSTATIC

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Question!

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OP here!

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Nation acting flirtatious without noticing it him/herself

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:39 pm (UTC)(link)
The subject line says it all actually. I'd like to have a story where a female or male nation flirts with other nations without knowing it and causing some (semi)serious problems for the others and him(her)self. I would like that trouble maker to be someone unexpected.

Re: Nation acting flirtatious without noticing it him/herself

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 07:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Seconded!

question -

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German speaking countries (Switzerland/?), diving adventure AU

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Ludwig, Gilbert and Roderich decide to go on a vacation and take some diving lessons. The only German-speaking diving teacher they can find is Vash. He's a bit... special, but they decide to hire him anyways because at least his little sister Lilli is pretty nice.

What follows should be some kind of underwater adventure. I don't care what exactly happenes (but preferably there are some bad guys involved - maybe they discover some kind of crime... I don't know xD). I'd just like to see some German badassery, a beautiful underwater-world and a Switzerland pairing (not with Liechtenstein, though).

It's a pretty random constellation... but maybe it inspires some of you^^'

Elizabeth can tag along, too, if you want.

Re: German speaking countries (Switzerland/?), diving adventure AU

(Anonymous) 2011-02-11 04:13 am (UTC)(link)
Oh man! Sounds awesome! Seconded so hard~~

France/US - Pretty woman x-over

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Exactly what the subject says. Francis as a rich ronery guy with a pitiful love life cos he's never found a person to truly love him. Alfred (or make it Alison/whateverhernameis if you wish, I don't really mind genderbends) as a prostitute whose childhood dream's to be rescued by her prince. One day their paths cross and... you know how the story goes. I believe everyone's seen that movie at least once.

Bonus if you include the shopping scene. Just because.

The King of Wishful Thinking [1/?] REPOST

(Anonymous) 2011-02-04 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)
The french doors of the Hollywood mansion were thrown wide, revealing a lavish buffet and an extraordinary view. A million lights glimmered in
the distance, it was downtown Los Angeles in all it's glory.
A crowd of well dressed businessmen and socialites mingle on the patio and in the spacious living room.

Upstairs in an office outfitted in sleek leather furnishing atop polished hardwood, a tall blond in a crisp blue suit is smiling with his arm around his business partner, a green-eyed spaniard, and reveling in the deal they just closed.


"Francis," The Spaniard begins "That bluff was genius! I thought those bankers were going to back out for sure."


"It was nothing Mon ami," Francis replied brushing a lock of blond hair behind his ear. "but we have been at this too long, come, let's return to zee party."


As the pair made their way downstairs they were interrupted by a butler dressed entirely in white.


"A phone call for you Mr.Bonnefoy, it is Miss Zwingli."


"Lili?" The spaniard asked "Is she coming tonight?"

Francis shrugged "I suppose we will find out. Go on, Antonio, and tend to your guests. One must not be a bad host, non?"

Antonio left with the butler and Francis turned back into the office crossing to have a seat at the large oak desk before picking up the phone.

Brushing his blond hair over his shoulder he pressed the receiver to his ear. "Bonsoir Cherie. Where are you now?" at the sounded of the woman's reply his smile faded into a small frown. "Of course not...I..." he grew frustrated but kept himself in line. "Look, ma petite, are you coming tonight or not?" The woman's answer was quick
and decisive leaving Francis nothing to do but hang up the phone and compose himself.

First his wife and now his girlfriend had left him and in the same week no less! It was a great blow to his ego which was usually swollen in matters of love.

He straightened up and made his way out of the office. The moment he stepped into the crowd his smile was back on his face and he moved from one conversation to another accepting invitations and tending to trivial business matters. But his heart wasn't in it tonight. He glided through the party as he always did but tonight he was gliding towards the door.

His spaniard business partner meanwhile had found a secluded corner in which he was entertaining a beautiful woman in a tight, revealing evening gown. He failed to notice the approach of a surly looking woman
with dark eyes that flashed dangerously and an errant curling lock of brown hair.

"Antonio!" She snapped in a heavy Italian accent and the spaniard pulled away from his would-be conquest blushing.

"Romana! Honey! This is...uh...this is..."

"I don't care who it is!" She glowered over his shoulder at the woman.
"I just-a thought you would want to know your "guest of honor" is leaving."

Antonio looked towards the door to see Francis slipping out of it into the night. He quickly made to follow him leaving the poor woman he had been wooing in the hands of his jealous wife.

Outside the driveway was a mess of luxury and sports cars. Francis searched for his limo only to find his driver apologetic that they had been boxed in and it was impossible for him to back out.

"What's up?" Antonio called as he approached "where are you going?"

Francis smiled "Perfect timing Mon Cher! Give me your car keys. I'm returning to the hotel. It is time for my beauty sleep."

Antonio frowned. "At least stay for some sangria. This party is for you."

Francis only waved a hand and smirked. "You will apologize to your Romana for me, yes?"

Reluctantly Antonio reached into his pocket searching for his keys.
"You know Francis, there is some "local talent" inside that would love to meet you."

Francis laughed "Ah bon? Some high class gold digger who speaks French better zhan I?" His laughter fell to a frown. "Oh non, I have had enough of zhose girls."

"Things did not go well with Lili?"

Francis reached out and took the keys from Antonio.
"Non." He replied simply climbing into the driver's side of Antonio's black ferrari.

The King of Wishful Thinking [2/?]

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-04 22:56 (UTC) - Expand

OP

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-07 01:54 (UTC) - Expand

Anyone/England - Hard BDSM/subspace

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
A serious, intense BDSM scene, with England bottoming. But not being particularly submissive about it - in fact, being pretty demanding, strident, and his usual irritable self. Right up until the endorphins hit and he's too high to complain, and nearly too high to speak coherently. Then tender, affectionate aftercare, through which he's very slow to come back down.

Preferably someone other than England or France, since similar fics with them exist.

Bonus if it's a pairing that makes historical sense (although not necessarily in this kind of relationship). Especially Australia or New Zealand.

Seconded

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 02:09 pm (UTC)(link)
"Preferably someone other than England or France, since similar fics with them exist."

Did you mean "America or France" there, by any chance? Or "England AND France" or something else that doesn't exclude the main character you were asking for? XD

Re: Seconded

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-24 20:24 (UTC) - Expand

Germany/Prussia - Dead Space

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Gilbert got the game for Christmas and after hooking up a new surround sound system he's full into playing the game, laughing like an idiot every step of the way.

Ludwig, who has nothing better to do but watch, starts getting scared until finally he's yelling at Gilbert to turn it off. Gilbert, of course, finds his scared brother much more amusing than the game.

So he tries scaring him. All the time.
If you can work smut in, I will love you forever.

Re: Germany/Prussia - Dead Space

(Anonymous) 2011-02-01 02:43 am (UTC)(link)
I must fill this... x'DD
I know nothing about Dead Space except that it's supposed to be a scary game, so forgive me if I do something wrong. -SHOT-

------

"Can you please turn that down?"

"Whaaatt? Why?! Aahhaha!" Gilbert turned back to the screen, grinning. The ground vibrated slightly with the loud attacks from aliens. Ludwig, on the other hand was slightly freaked out. Oh yes! The great Ludwig was completely terrified. His older brother found it incredibly funny to attack the first scary thing in site as Ludwig kept complaining.

The blond German grumbled and stood up. Three straight hours of this since almost the moment they finished opening presents from friends was insane and Ludwig had nothing else to do because, well, he just didn't. Gilbert tore his eyes away from the screen for a moment, raising an eyebrow.

"Is the game to scary for little Ludwig?" he teased.

"No! It's just too loud."

Gilbert laughed loudly. "Dude, it's not 'too loud'! It's perfect level! It's amazing!"

Ludwig stared blankly at Gilbert. He turned around and headed for the kitchen, startled by the sudden silence. Then the whole house exploded in very loud shooting and groaning from aliens, and that's when Ludwig lost it (actually, he nearly jumped five feet in the air).

"Turn it off!" he snapped. "I'll unplug the damn thing!"

A book was chucked at his head. "Come ON! Have you EVER played a video game?"

"Yes-"

"Other than Kinectimals?"

"That was with Feliciano!" Ludwig growled and walked over to the plug. He stooped down and reached for it, but a quiet chirping behind him startled him and he instead forced down a bookcase when he jumped against it. Gilbert laughed so hard that he nearly fell off the couch. Gilbird landed on his head and cheeped innocently.

Between bouts of laughter, Gilbert managed to say, "Not afraid, eh?!" He took a few gasping breaths and pressed the start button on his controller. "Ludwig, brother, that is stu- YOU SHUT IT OFF!"

Ludwig twirled the cord in his hand. "Actually, I think that was just the TV, so you better pause it now and turn it off when it's on."

He huffed. No way was he going to let his brother do that! Gilbert paused his game and stood up, stomping over to Ludwig. "Why are you so afraid of it anyway?!" he snapped and placed his hands on his hips, leaning forward a little bit so his face was closer to his brother's. "It's just a game- not real!"

"Who said I was afraid of it?!"

"Yer pale," Gilbert deadpanned.

"I'm always pale," Ludwig countered.

"Not THIS pale!"

Ludwig glared at Gilbert as he pushed past and went straight to the kitchen. He face palmed when he noticed a huge mess all over his counters. Behind him, Gilbert was trying to plug the TV in and was swearing when he got electrocuted. Ludwig turned back to the mess and began to clean up. He felt...different. Like someone was watching him. His eyes narrowed and he looked over his shoulder except no one was there. Frowning, he turned back to dried pancake batter, then something jumped out at him and began making screaming noises like the aliens. Ludwig slumped against the counter, totally freaked out, his heart beating fast.

"GILBERT!" he exclaimed.

Insane giggling filled the air. "I'm sorry, bud, but I SO had to do that!" Gilbert grabbed him in a headlock and laughed. "ADMIT it, West! You're scared!"

"Fine! Just stop DOING that!"

"Alriggggghhhhhuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmuuuuuhhhnnnnnnnnnnnn-"

Ludwig slapped Gilbert upside the head.

Re: Germany/Prussia - Dead Space

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-01 02:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Germany/Prussia - Dead Space

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-01 13:19 (UTC) - Expand

Japan/Anyone - Axillism

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Japan has an armpit fetish. You read that right.

Anybody is fine, but pairings this requester likes are Japan/China, Japan/Russia, Japan/England and Japan/Greece.

The Space Underneath Your Arms [1/3]

(Anonymous) 2011-01-31 06:12 am (UTC)(link)
Filled this with Japan/Greece! It may not be as porny as you wanted, OP, but I hope you still like it (and the anon from above me is free to go ahead with the panties-moistening Japan/Russia smut if s/he wishes ;) ).

-

Japan slowly pulled out of Greece, who gave a contented hum and began to roll over on his side until Japan placed a hand on his chest.

"If you don't mind, Greece-san..." Japan said, moving so that his head rested in the crook of Greece's arm, running his hand over Greece's broad chest as he did so, "I prefer this position."

If Greece found this request odd, he didn't say anything. He simply smiled sleepily and lifted one hand to card fingers through Japan's hair until his breathing slowly evened out and his hand fell away from Japan's head to rest on the bedsheets.

When Japan was sure that Greece was asleep, he shifted his head closer to Greece's armpit and inhaled deeply the musky, nose-tingling scent there. The truth was that he preferred this resting position not because it let him better admire Greece's abs (although that was definitely a bonus), but because it let him better admire Greece's armpit when it wasn't clothed and when he didn't have to try to explain his fascination with armpits without sounding like a pervert who got turned on by even the smallest, weirdest things.

Japan breathed in the scent of the crook of Greece's arm again, thankful that Greece kept his armpits clean enough to not make the smell overpowering but left them alone enough for the faint whiff of store-brought deodorant to not overwhelm the natural scent collected there. It was even better with the sweat of their lovemaking intermingled with the scent of sea salt, oregano, and freshly dug earth that was Greece. He buried his nose into the moist skin of Greece's armpit, feeling the recently shaved hair stubble brush against his nose and amplify the sensation of the smell even further.

"Are you sniffing my armpit?"

Japan's cheeks instantly flooded with color and he jerked his head up to meet the eyes of a clearly awake Greece. "I...I thought you were asleep," was the lame reply he managed to get out.

"I was meditating," Greece said, still looking calm if a little bemused. "Were you wondering what my armpits smelled like?"

"I...that is to say, I..." Japan, still flushed with shame at having been caught, floundered around for some explanation that would somehow spare him from further humiliation. When none came, he fell silent and looked over at Greece who merely looked back at him with a curious but patient expression, and the absurdity of being so ashamed of revealing something like this to Greece, when Greece had never laughed at any of his prior revealed kinks and fetishes, hit him then. "...I've smelled them before, and they have an appealing scent."

Greece quirked an eyebrow, but looked mildly intrigued. "What do they smell like?"

The Space Underneath Your Arms [2/3]

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-31 06:16 (UTC) - Expand

The Space Underneath Your Arms [3/3]

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-31 06:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: The Space Underneath Your Arms [3/3]

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-31 10:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: The Space Underneath Your Arms [3/3]

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-01 03:27 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Axillism

(Anonymous) - 2014-01-22 02:40 (UTC) - Expand

Nazi!Germany x Germany - Bathroom Sex

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know why I love these two together so much.
Anyways, Germany, all sudsy, forgets the bottle of conditioner on the sink counter and goes to get it. He opens the curtain and surprise! Guess who's there? :D

Would love it if N!G took Germany doggy style on the tiles while he's still all wet and soapy~

Sado-Narcissm (Update) [1/3]

(Anonymous) 2011-01-29 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
Fixed a few things from the first version. Now, Germany = Germany and Third Reich = Nazi!Germany.

Germany ran his hands through his hair with a satisfied sigh. Work had picked up ever since his new boss had come into power, and a good, hot shower was always a welcome relief from the stress. Not that he minded particularly; anything was better than wasting away for France’s enjoyment. Although there were some things he took issue with, certain policies he had had never quite agreed to...and the strange, new version of himself always hanging around his boss that leered at the world from under the gleaming brim of his black cap.

With a shake of his wet hair, Germany dismissed the thoughts. No one said that rising from utter poverty would be easy, and he was prepared to accept the cons with pros. Mostly.

The door to the bathroom clicked faintly, but Germany ignored it. It was probably just Italy with some silly concern. It could wait.

Eyes shut against the shampoo suds streaming down his face, Germany groped around the window sill of the shower for the conditioner, only to find the ledge empty save for a thin layer of soap scum. With a grimace he remembered leaving a new bottle on the sink counter. He tugged the curtain aside and reached out. The counter’s edge was just of reach; he could feel its cold hardness brush his fingertips.

Frustrated, he withdrew into the shower. “Italy?” Germany wiped some of the shampoo from his eyes. “Italy, if you’re there could you get the bottle of conditioner on the counter for me?”

“‘Italy?’”

Germany jolted, slipping slightly in the shower. That voice...

He heard the sound of the shower curtain being jerked aside. “No, far from it.”

You --”

A leather glove twisted into his hair and wrenched him forward, out of the shower, face first onto the tile floor. Germany scrambled to right himself and he felt cloth brush his bare legs. He squinted through a stinging film of soap. “Third...Third Reich.”

The man smiled coldly, pressing himself flush against the back of his kneeling counterpart. “You haven’t been a good German, have you, Germany?” From the corners of his eyes, Germany saw the Schutzstaffel uniform; it was the seems of the black trousers that ghosted over Germany’s thighs. He had never liked the stark uniform, but then again, Herr Himmler had never claimed the officers were meant to be liked.

With a jerk of the soaked bangs, the Nazi brought Germany’s attention back. “I know what you have done with...men, and I don’t approve.” Germany’s breath shortened, drawing a laugh from the Third Reich. “The Fuhrer doesn’t know; you have been a wonderful liar.” The gloved fingers unoccupied with Germany’s hair started idly tracing up his chest. “But we are both this glorious Reich, so there are some things -- some thoughts -- we share...if even they are things we’d rather not.”

Third Reich gripped Germany’s chin. “And I would rather not be exposed to your filth when I am trying to lay the road to Aryan perfection.” Leather digits dug into Germany’s throat. He shuddered against his will. As more and more of his people subscribed to the new party, Third Reich grew stronger and Germany...he understood more and more what Prussia was feeling, the strange sensation of slowly, slowly emptying.

And as the Third Reich’s breath warmed Germany’s already flushed skin, he realized that here, soaked and kneeling on his bathroom floor, he was at the man’s mercy. And the man had no mercy.

Re: Sado-Narcissm (Update) [1/3]

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-29 04:12 (UTC) - Expand

/Anon who originally complained about the names

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-30 02:27 (UTC) - Expand

Sado-Narcissism (Update) [2/3]

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-29 03:51 (UTC) - Expand

Sado-Narcissism (Update) [3/3]

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-29 03:56 (UTC) - Expand

Not OP

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-11 04:21 (UTC) - Expand

Female/male/female - consensual or non-con domination

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 01:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Any male nation being dominated by two female nations. Something like one of them is riding him while the other one is doing face sitting. Also accepting trios that consist fem!males. So fem!male/male/female is for example very welcomed.

There are some nations I wouldn't want to see in a submissive role but you can genderbend them and use them anyway. This list is strange but please bare with me. Here it is:
Russia, Prussia, America, England, France, Italy, Japan, China, Poland, Lithuania, Romano, Spain, Netherlands, Denmark, Norway, Switzerland.

I know I didn't leave too many males for you to choose from to be submissive, but if necessary you can genderbend one of the ladies.

Re: Female/male/female - consensual or non-con domination

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Seconded! I assume you're the same OP who requested something similar in part 16?

OP

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-25 06:16 (UTC) - Expand

OP

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-25 06:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-25 22:01 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-26 09:13 (UTC) - Expand

Anyone/Anyone - 30 Years War

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 02:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I'd really love to see a somewhat history-heavy fic dealing with or set during the 30 Years War.

That conflict was massive and it really re-defined pre-modern Europe in a lot of ways- huge casualties, dissent over catholic vs protestant, Bourbon-Hapsburg tensions...the list goes on and on. And so many nations were involved that I really am not picky about which characters are chosen for the focus ^^

For background:
The 30 Years War: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thirty_Years%27_War
Peace of Westphalia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peace_of_Westphalia

Bonus: if the Peace of Westphalia is mentioned or dealt with in some part of the fic

Peace in Our Time [Prologue/?]

(Anonymous) 2011-02-05 05:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Anon from the 'Question for OP?' post above, back from her research and finally starting a fill! This is sort of a sequel to the recently finished fill 'Marignano' from Part 16, though it's not really necessary to read it before starting this one: http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/18439.html?thread=64683783#t64683783

---

Idiots.

All of them, idiots.

He strongly suspects that half of them no longer remember why they are fighting, and the other half have long since stopped caring why (or for that matter, who) they fight as long as there is a fight to be had. They reel across Europe like drunkards in the depths of their cups, lashing out at real or imagined slights and provoking new quarrels at every turn, with little care for the dead and dying they leave in their wake. And there is nothing he would like more than to turn his back on the lot of them -- for if they are so determined to slit their own throats as well as each other's, who is he to stand in their way? -- but there are too many armies, too many borders, too many cracks and chinks in his walls to keep out the scorching winds from the south or the icy blasts from the north.

He is far weaker than even his neighbours know. Riven by a century of plague and smallpox, wracked by a hundred years of watching his people slaughter each other in the name of their faith. He has held them all together through God's grace (even though, in the darkest hours of the night, he is not so certain that he believes in God's grace any longer), but it is a delicate balance, and there is no telling when one careless action will shatter his fragile unity beyond repair. His own soldiering days are over; he has not lifted a pike in years, and though he has learnt to defend himself in other ways none of them have yet provided the same sense of security that he cherishes more than life itself. If his neighbours ever took it into their heads to open another front....

No. He cannot think in those self-defeating terms. He will survive somehow, play the games of nations, sell his soldiers to the highest bidder, do what he must to keep body and soul together. And at the end of all this, when his idiot neighbours have finally exhausted themselves enough to seek some sort of peace, he will not let the opportunity slip through his fingers.

For the Swiss Confederacy wants independence, true recognition of his people's freedom from the predations of France and the feeble clutches of the Holy Roman Empire -- and when that day comes, no man or nation will be permitted to stand in his way.

Re: Peace in Our Time [Prologue/?]

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-05 17:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Peace in Our Time [Prologue/?]

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-06 11:09 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Peace in Our Time [Prologue/?]

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-07 02:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP HERE!

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-07 13:24 (UTC) - Expand

Peace in Our Time [1/?]

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-10 04:54 (UTC) - Expand

Peace in Our Time [2/?]

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-10 05:01 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Peace in Our Time [2/?]

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-10 18:40 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Peace in Our Time [2/?]

(Anonymous) - 2011-03-04 21:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Anyone/Anyone - 30 Years War

(Anonymous) - 2011-09-06 11:40 (UTC) - Expand

Delivered in full

(Anonymous) - 2011-09-06 11:43 (UTC) - Expand

Prussia & Kid!Germany - Scared of Ghosts

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 02:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Somehow they get into a conversation about the supernatural and Kid!Germany, who doesn't believe in ghosts, ends up telling Prussia a ghost story which obviously scares him, but he laughs it off.

Then Prussia crawls into bed with his brother to make sure 'He's still alright'.
Make it cute, anons xD
With Prussia failing to not be scared and Kid!Germany having to act like the logical adult.

The Storyteller [1/3]

(Anonymous) 2011-02-25 07:33 pm (UTC)(link)
(My first fill! Sorry if it's not exactly what the OP wanted!)



The Storyteller

“And that is why I, the Awesome Prussia, was able to kick that guy Austria’s ass. Turns out the dude protecting him all along had a pussy. The End.”

To be honest, Prussia was rather proud of his abilities in storytelling. No one had ever told him stories before bed so it had been his own ingenious that created the format.

And Fritz thought he had to look to Voltaire for an intellectual equal. Pshaw.

Ludwig’s cold blue eyes stared suspiciously at his brother.

“What? No thanks, you brat?” Prussia balked. Damn kid always gave him the creeps with that stare.

This caused the blond child to at least blink before laying his head back on the pillow, unfolding himself so stiffly that Gilbert could have sworn he heard hinges screeching.

“Are you disappointed in my tale of awesome?” the nation questioned before folding his arms over his chest.

“I had no expectations to disappoint, Bruder,” young Germany responded flatly.

Oh. Oh, the kid was so dead.

Gilbert stood up and harshly yanked on Ludwig’s covers. “You don’t know a good story when it comes up and bites you in your bony ass. You can’t even get your sheets even.”

So he made them even. Ludwig silently marveled.

Looking testy still, Gilbert nearly stormed out of the room when he noticed those wide awake blue eyes. He only let his heart melt some at them. Honest. It was the manly awesome response and nothing more.

He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. “Want me to try again?”

Not that he needed tries. He was Prussia.

“Bruder Preußen, I did like your story,” Ludwig said as his hinges squeaked and he sat up again. “So I was thinking I should tell you one to say thank you.”

An unfamiliar warmth came to Gilbert’s cheeks. But it was not blush. He, Prussia, did not blush.

“You don’t have to,” he responded in a voice that might have sounded embarrassed. But it wasn’t.

“Bruder, please?”

“Okay, fine, Brat. But then I’m going to bed. And you can’t get in bed with me, so don’t try.”

In what the younger passed as “excitement,” Ludwig settled his tiny hands in his lap and nodded to Gilbert. “I won’t, Bruder. But I’ll tell you a great story.”

The Storyteller [2/3]

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-25 19:35 (UTC) - Expand

The Storyteller [3/3]

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-25 19:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: The Storyteller [3/3]

(Anonymous) - 2011-02-25 22:46 (UTC) - Expand

France/Fem!England/Fem!France/England - foursome

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 02:17 pm (UTC)(link)
There isn't really much more to say than what's already in the title..

Bonus: The Englands initiate it.

Doesn't matter if it's a total human AU or a he/nyotalia AU, and I like human names, too.

Go wild, I guess :)

SECOND

(Anonymous) 2011-01-25 06:00 am (UTC)(link)
Marry me, Anon. ♥

THIRDED OHDEARGOD

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-25 21:46 (UTC) - Expand

Manga "Judge" universe (Any/Any)

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 02:19 pm (UTC)(link)
I just yesterday finished reading the sixth chapter that has been published so far. And I loved it. The manga is here: http://www.mangahere.com/manga/judge/

I would love it if one of you anons would choose nine nations who you want and lock them up in a weird house because of their sins. And they need to vote off who will disappear after every 12 hours.

potential filler

(Anonymous) 2011-01-26 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow, that sounds like a totally interesting idea. I will just need to read up on the manga so I can get some of the in world specifics right. I don't have any classes for awhile either, so this should all work out.

OP

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-27 12:03 (UTC) - Expand

Pru/Can or Ger/can Fighting leads to rough sex

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 02:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Actual physical fighting please before the sex. No order preferred for who tops

Bonus points
*Lots of biting scratching even tearing of clothes.
*Non-penetrating sex (Frottage, oral, 69 etc)
*they're outside or on a battlefield

And Next To Love The Sweetest Thing Is Hate

(Anonymous) 2011-03-19 08:53 am (UTC)(link)
Germany tastes blood as Canada manages to push him to the ground and kick him a few times before he catches the young Allie’s leg and pulls him down too. Their rifles lay forgotten in the mud as the two nations struggle. Pinning his opponent, Germany takes a good look at Canada; gone is the naïve child of the first World War, who, even then, surprised and frightened him.

“Je te déteste,” Canada spits out. The statement is mild and obvious, but coupled with the wild look in the northern nation’s eyes, Canada may as well have spoken the most graphic and offensive threat imaginable.

Canada frees his arms and shoves Germany off. He grabs the collar of the European’s uniform and strikes him in the jaw. Before he can attack again, Germany catches his fist and manages to twist his arm behind his back, manoeuvring him into a chokehold.

Canada surprises Germany when he lets out a derisive laugh. “Is this what turns you on?” the North American sniggers, “Je peux sentir ta bandaison.” Germany pauses for a moment and yes, he is hard. He’d be lying if he claimed he didn’t find having Canada pressed against his body, panting, arousing; that he hadn’t fantasized about pinning the other nation against the crumbling walls of Ortona and fucking him senseless.

In his astonishment, Germany’s arm has slackened. Canada takes advantage, grasping the back of the European’s head and turning until he smashes their lips together in a rough kiss. The nations tumble to the ground. Germany palms Canada through his uniform causing the northerner to groan, pressing back against his hand. The two make quick work of each other’s belts and zippers and Germany feels a hand wrap around his cock. As the personification of one of the coldest countries in the world, Canada’s skin is freezing, the Axis member gasps at the shock before grasping Canada’s own erection.

Their movements are erratic and frenzied. Germany stifles a moan by biting into Canada’s shoulder and while he doesn’t break skin since the two are still clothed (something German’s is grateful for, judging by the way Canada’s clawing at his back with his free hand, he’d have some severe scratches to explain if Prussia or North Italy saw them), the pressure causes the other nation to jerk and pull their bodies closer together. Approving the reaction, Germany repositions his mouth at Canada’s uncovered neck and alternates between biting and sucking.

Germany feels a hand roughly tangle in his hair and thinks Canada might kiss him again, however the other nation ignores his mouth, instead licking at a trail of blood that has trickled out of a gash on his forehead. The strokes on his cock have gotten even more irregular and Germany can tell Canada’s close. Sure enough the northern nation soon climaxes with Germany following a few seconds after.

Only the sound of their harsh breathing breaks the silence until Canada raises himself on his elbows and turns to Germany. “Crisse,” the Allied nation utters, “You’re not going to win.” Germany doesn’t respond, he knows Walcheren has already been lost. Bulgaria and Romania have turned against him; even his people know the end is approaching. Part of him wants to laugh, he almost sardonically asks Canada to return with him and explain this to his boss, however he says nothing as he watches the younger nation stand and refasten his belt, cleaning himself as well as possible before leaving.

Re: And Next To Love The Sweetest Thing Is Hate

(Anonymous) - 2011-03-19 14:16 (UTC) - Expand

op

(Anonymous) - 2011-03-20 06:52 (UTC) - Expand

German brothers - Meeting Hitler

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 02:21 pm (UTC)(link)
OP wants a fill about Germany and Prussia meeting Hitler for the first time and their impressions about it. Especially as Germany himself is pretty much every ideal Hitler wanted his people to look like and Prussia is not (albinos counted among Hitlers undesirables).

Hitlers reactions to the idea of nations would be really interesting to read too.

Bonus:
- for an added twist, either fem!Germany or fem!Prussia, even both!

Dumm wie Bohnenstroh sein [1/2]

(Anonymous) 2011-05-20 03:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Not the Anon above but... er, this request spoke to my nerdy history side!

---

The clock ticked loudly as the two brothers stared at the man across from them. Ludwig shifted in his chair, his fingers squeezing the leather of the armrest for a moment before he looked up at his brother who stood beside him. He didn't look amused.

"Interesting." The man across from them muttered his own body relaxed as he sat in an identical chair. "So, how does this work exactly?"

Ludwig frowned, turning his attention back to the Austrian Corporal. He waited for a moment, checking to see if his brother would speak first before he cleared his own throat, shifting once again. He felt Gilbert's hand come down to squeeze his shoulder to try and stop him but he ignored it, more concerned about being polite.

"Well... We're not really sure." He said, batting the hand off him. "But, events do affect our health. I get sick if something disastrous happens to the citizens who are German." He paused, thinking for a better explanation. "Or... Or political turmoil."
There was more silence and he began to panic. “...And we can’t die, I don’t think. As long as our borders stay marked.”

He looked to Gilbert for help but he received none.

"...Ah.." He started to stutter again but he was interrupted.

"Would you obey me?" He was asked and Ludwig flushed, scratching his head as he tried to sort out a way to respond.

"If you are Chancellor, yes."

"He will obey you." Gilbert suddenly growled, making all eyes turn to him. "I will not."

His brother turned red beside him from embarrassment, looking back to the man across from him before they were startled with a laughter. Adolf Hitler was laughing at his response.

“My party does not appease you?” He asked and Gilbert snorted, looking at his guard who stood silently next to him, his eyes dragging up and down his body. Ludwig saw the man sweat a little.

“We have no allegiance to any party.” Ludwig cut in nervously. “We are loyal to our bosses.”

“Ah, I think I see how this goes.” Both of them looked to the man and he smiled warmly at Ludwig making his cheeks flush. He shifted once again. “You will be loyal to whatever party comes into command.”

“Yes sir.” Ludwig said promptly and he stared at him, smiling once again. There was a long silence before Adolf reached over and picked up the small mug next to him, looking at the now cold coffee that was in it.

“Ludwig.” He said with a twinkle in his eyes and the nation straightened, listening like a loyal dog. “The same name as our deceased king.”

His ears went red as he thought about the ‘insane Bavarian’ Gilbert often laughed about. “Yes, I suppose.”

“Same name as Beethovan.”

Ludwig felt his cheeks start to flush again, a smile coming over his lips.

“Yes.” He didn’t know why that name made him so happy. Maybe because everyone always thought he was named after the otherLudwig. There was silence once more as Adolf set his cup down.

“Do you love your country, Ludwig?”

He caught a glimpse of Gilbert’s fist clenching before he nodded with a smile.

“Yes sir, I love my people and land.”

There was a nod. “And... what do you think about these... disgusting demands that have been laid on us by the rest of Europe?”

He knew what he was speaking of and he shifted uncomfortably in the chair. He was unsure of what to say, if he should be diplomatic or speak his mind. He didn’t even know this man but his words seemed to indicate that he was as unpleased with it as he secretly was. He looked up to Gilbert, hoping again for some assistance but he received none once more, his brother instead glaring at the guard, locked in some non-verbal staring contest. He frowned at the chuckle that came.

“Ludwig, it is alright to speak your mind.” Adolf swept his arms across the room. “There are no officials here to tell you what to say. Tell the truth!”

Dumm wie Bohnenstroh sein [2/2]

(Anonymous) - 2011-05-20 15:49 (UTC) - Expand

Dumm wie Bohnenstroh sein [Author's Note]

(Anonymous) - 2011-05-20 15:50 (UTC) - Expand

OP

(Anonymous) - 2011-05-20 16:21 (UTC) - Expand

A!A

(Anonymous) - 2011-05-20 16:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Dumm wie Bohnenstroh sein [Author's Note]

(Anonymous) - 2011-06-14 22:09 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Dumm wie Bohnenstroh sein [2/2]

(Anonymous) - 2011-05-20 16:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Dumm wie Bohnenstroh sein [2/2]

(Anonymous) - 2011-05-22 23:41 (UTC) - Expand

Turkey/Netherlands - Tulips

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 02:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I'd really adore some Turkey/Netherlands (or the other way around, I'm not choosy).

Turkey brought tulips to Europe starting in the mid-1500s and by the early 1600s, Netherlands was in something of a total Tulip craze. I'd love to see a fic that capitalizes on that and has Netherlands getting *really* enamoured of those special flowers that come from Turkey.
Whether it turns into smut at the end or not is up to author!anon ^^

Re: Turkey/Netherlands - Tulips

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Seconded!

Re: Turkey/Netherlands - Tulips

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-24 23:44 (UTC) - Expand

England - Taking care of little (and older) Ulster

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)
After his divorce separation with Ireland, the territory England gets to keep from Ireland comes to his house as a new little sibling, much to his surprise. Unfortunately, Northern Ireland is a very confused and unstable child that always gets into trouble. Anon simply wants a fic of these two.

Bonus:
1. Female NI...I know this probably isn't "canon", but NI's history just seems very "little sister" like to me. Just a bonus.
2. If NI is female, female south Ireland as well.

Trouble (With a Capital T) (1/?)

(Anonymous) 2011-03-06 04:10 pm (UTC)(link)
A/N: In case there's any wank, less-than-flattering descriptions of the Republic of Ireland's character reflect England's opinion, not that of the author.

---

He blamed the Great War, really. Four years of fighting against Germany, Austria and Hungary, the horror of the mud and the noise and the death of that awful conflict, had worn him down. And after seven hundred years of attitude, treachery and the occasional fruitless temper tantrum, that fucking old harridan had finally learned to pick her battles.

However, it was still mortifying that Ireland had managed to throw him out and change the locks in half the time it had taken him to win the Great War. If he hadn’t managed to take home a little souvenir, a chap could get downright depressed.

England smiled over his newspaper at the little country in the corner, cleaning industriously. Northern Ireland was far more hard working and well bred than the Free State (as Ireland was calling herself these days). He looked a lot like Scotland had as a child, with an accent almost as unintelligible, yet he strove to be like England in every way – dressing like him, trimming his wild, bushy eyebrows in the same manner, donning the most adorable bowler hat when they went into the city together. He’d come with England willingly, afraid that Ireland’s devotion to her old religion would lead to his persecution, and had been a loyal little servant ever since.

“Cup of tea, sir?”

Northern Ireland stood in front of him, cleaning equipment neatly gathered up in his arms. The drawing room glistened, every surface scrubbed and polished.

England folded his newspaper and set it aside. “Yes, thank you Billy.”

The younger country beamed and trotted towards the kitchen. England couldn’t help smiling as he watched him go. He was surprised to find tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. Losing America had been such a terrible blow, and Ireland – good God, a more troublesome, ungrateful bitch had never existed. Northern Ireland’s devotion to him was proof that he was right, he was right, it had been worthwhile to impose Britain’s civilising influence on the barbarians.

The whistle of the kettle sounded from the kitchen, and England folded his hands in his lap while he waited for Northern Ireland to bring out the tea and biscuits. He would let his new little brother sit in his lap and they would do the crossword together over afternoon tea. It had become something of a ritual ever since Northern Ireland had come home with him.

Five minutes passed.

Ten minutes.

After fifteen minutes, England began to worry. Perhaps some mishap had befallen Northern Ireland. The kitchen, after all, was filled with things that could hurt a little country. He rose from his chair and hurried to see what had happened.

The sight that befell him when he reached the kitchen made him stop in his tracks. Far from being hurt or in danger, Northern Ireland was sitting at the table, devouring biscuits and slurping tea from England’s favourite mug.

“What is the meaning of this?!” England spluttered. Northern Ireland paid no attention. England felt a little pang of disappointment, but no matter – all new colonies had moments of disobedience, and it was foolish of him to think that Northern Ireland would be any different.

He strode over to the table and gently put his hands on it, leaning over to reach Northern Ireland’s eye-level.

“I thought I told you to make me some tea,” England said, using the low, authoritative voice that British nannies would become famous for in the early twenty-first century.

Northern Ireland slowly wiped biscuit crumbs off his mouth with his sleeve, causing England to grit his teeth at the appalling lack of etiquette. The younger country drained his mug, burped, and got down from his chair. England followed his movements with a steely stare. Northern Ireland beckoned to him and England crouched down in front of him. He gazed into Northern Ireland’s eyes, awaiting an explanation.

“Make your own fuckin’ tea.”

England recoiled at the venom in Northern Ireland’s voice, and a second later Northern Ireland’s apron hit him in the face.

Oh dear.

Re: Trouble (With a Capital T) (1/?)

(Anonymous) - 2011-03-06 17:48 (UTC) - Expand

Authornon

(Anonymous) - 2011-03-06 18:24 (UTC) - Expand

Trouble (With a Capital T) (2/?)

(Anonymous) - 2011-03-07 18:49 (UTC) - Expand

Trouble (With a Capital T) (3/?)

(Anonymous) - 2011-03-10 02:09 (UTC) - Expand

Trouble (With a Capital T) (4/?)

(Anonymous) - 2011-03-10 02:12 (UTC) - Expand

A quick note on names etc.

(Anonymous) - 2011-03-10 02:27 (UTC) - Expand

Trouble (With a Capital T) (5/?)

(Anonymous) - 2011-03-13 00:31 (UTC) - Expand

Russia, Poland, Lithuania, Sweden - Time of troubles

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I'd like something historically funny about the smuta (or: time of troubles) in Russia.

With lots and lots of fake Dmitrij's, a really helpless Russia and a plotting Poland/Lithuania married pair.

I hope there's at least someone who knows what I'm talking about xD

If not: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_of_Troubles

Re: Russia, Poland, Lithuania, Sweden - Time of troubles

(Anonymous) 2011-01-24 03:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Anon is tempted, but will have to do some research first...

OP

(Anonymous) - 2011-01-24 15:43 (UTC) - Expand