Afterwards, they were lying on the couch, sweaty and tired and sore. It was quickly getting chilly, so Lovino fumbled for the blanket he kept on the couch and tossed it over their frames.
“That was a little different,” Gilbert said. “I'm pretty sure you gave me a few nice bruises.”
“Sorry.”
“It's okay. I like it rough sometimes. But wow, what got into you today?”
“Don't talk, dammit. Just be still for a while.”
But they couldn't keep lying on the couch forever. Gilbert soon began to complain that there wasn't enough space and that his foot was falling asleep, so he slipped from under the blanket and began to look for his boxers on the floor. Lovino wanted to call him back because if he left, it would be all over, but he couldn't come up with a good excuse.
Maybe it was just as well, he thought as he followed Gilbert's example. He had left enough money in the kitchen to cover Gilbert's efforts and even included a big tip. He flipped through the notes one more time to make sure it was all there and returned to the living room where Gilbert had just turned on the TV and was flipping through sports channels.
He shoved the money in front of Gilbert's face.
“Here.”
“What?”
“Payment for today. And listen, I think it's the best if –”
“What payment? I didn't clean anything today.” Gilbert had found a channel that was showing football, so he wasn't even looking to Lovino as he spoke.
Lovino snorted and rolled his eyes. “Real funny, dumbass. Like it's the cleaning I pay you for.”
Now Gilbert turned to look at him.
“What?”
“Ha, you should see yourself in the mirror. I've never seen such a stupid look on your face.” Lovino tossed the money on the couch by Gilbert's side. “Just take it. We should be even now.”
“Lovino, what the fuck are you talking about?”
“The sex! Here's the money for the sex!” Based on the baffled look on Gilbert's face, they still weren't on the same page, so Lovino continued, “Did all the blood stay in your dick so that you can't think anymore? You're a prostitute and had sex with me, so here's the payment!”
“What... Lovino, what...? I'm not a prostitute!”
“What are you talking about? Of course you are! That's why Antonio gave me your number!”
“Did Antonio say I'm a prostitute?”
“No, but –”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Gilbert stood up and threw the remote control to the floor, sending the batteries flying. “I'm not a prostitute!”
“Yes, you are!”
Sudden anger replaced the confusion on Gilbert's face and twisted his features. “Wait. You mean that this whole time, you thought you were buying sex from me?”
“Yeah, because I thought... What? You really aren't a prostitute?”
Gilbert began to collect his clothes from the floor and threw them on, not caring that he put his T-shirt on the wrong way and that he couldn't find the left sock. His fury was clear in the harsh and uncoordinated movements of his hands, the way his teeth were clenched and the audible breathing. Lovino watched him and didn't know what to do.
“I'm giving all the money back. Just you wait. There's going to be a check in your mailbox tomorrow,” Gilbert announced on his way to the door. He marched outside and slammed it shut behind him so hard that Lovino was surprised the hinges didn't come off.
Gilbert wasn't a prostitute? But... how could...?
Fifteen seconds after Gilbert had left, Lovino realised something important. If Gilbert wasn't a prostitute, that meant he had kept coming back because he wanted to.
Fuck.
He ran to the door and wrenched it open.
“Bastard, wait!”
The elevator was in use, so Lovino began to run down the stairs. He had to reach Gilbert before he left the building. He had to talk to him now.
Gilbert was just about to step out the front door when Lovino found him.
“Stop right there! Don't go!”
Maybe he was only imagining it, but he look Gilbert threw into his direction wasn't as full of anger as back in his apartment. He reminded Lovino of a puppy that had been left in the rain.
“What the fuck do you want?” Gilbert asked.
“Come back inside. Let's talk.”
“What's there to talk about? I think I know pretty well what just happened here.”
“No, you dumbass! You got it all wrong!”
Gilbert laughed, a sharp sound like scraping a fork again a plate. “That's pretty great coming from you of all people.”
“I can explain everything! Just come back, dammit.”
“Why? I'm a real tough guy, but even I've got my limits and –” Gilbert's voice cracked, and he turned to look up at the ceiling, blinking. “Fuck.”
“I'm sorry. I'm a total idiot. I didn't want to hurt you. Just come on, let me fix this.”
“How? The whole time, you thought I was a prostitute!”
“I know! And it was totally killing me! But I don't want to talk about it here, so let's go!”
Gilbert gave him an unimpressed look, and at first Lovino thought he wasn't buying his words. Then he realised that he hadn't put anything on when he had left the apartment and was standing there in nothing but his boxers. He had to look ridiculous, and even though there were far more important matters to worry about, he could still feel heat rise to his cheeks.
“Please?” he added, most of his steam spent. He had no idea what to do if Gilbert said no. They had to clear this now, or it would never be the same again.
Gilbert sighed and threw up his hands. “Fine, but you're going to have to make it really good, okay?”
They climbed up the stairs to the floor where Lovino lived and found themselves facing a locked door. Lovino slammed his fists against it.
“Fuck! I left the keys inside!”
Gilbert refused to let him use his cell phone, so Lovino had to swallow his embarrassment and knock on his neighbour's door and ask for their phone so that he could call the janitor. The disapproving glares he received from the couple next door made him grit his teeth, and Gilbert's spiteful chuckling didn't help.
“You deserve this. I hope they'll never say good day to you again.”
“They never did in the first place. The stuck-up assholes don't like having an Italian neighbour.”
“Maybe I'll tell them you're the type of guy who hires prostitutes and see how much more hostile they can get.”
Lovino wanted to say something, but he couldn't force the words out. He crossed his arms on his chest and leaned back as they waited for the janitor to arrive and unlock the door. Neither spoke. After a while, the coolness of the wall began to seep into his back, and he straightened his form and rubbed his arms.
There was a sigh from his side, and Gilbert took off his jacket and tossed it to him.
“I'm so cool that I won't let even a jerk like you freeze,” he said in response to Lovino's questioning look.
Lovino pulled the jacket over his shoulders and huffed. “I'm glad you aren't a prostitute.”
“Oh, yeah? Why? Did you realise you could try to get me into your bed without payment?”
“No! Are you really that dumb? Okay, so I just wanted some sex at first, but... But you totally ruined it and made it complicated! I don't know how you did it and corrupted my superior Italian sensibilities, but I want you all for myself, and not just because the sex is great.”
“Then you should have just said that!”
“But I thought you were a prostitute and that I couldn't have you!”
Gilbert pursed his lips annoyance. “How the hell did you ever get that idea in the first place? I mean, sure, I'm so hot that anyone would be ready to pay to get me, but what the fuck? I run a cleaning service! Why did you think I cleaned your place every time?”
“I don't know! You're German! I thought it's necessary foreplay for you people before you can get it up or something! And it's all Antonio's fault anyway! He knew I was looking for a prostitute, and he gave me your number and said you're good.”
“No way. He'd never do that, not even as a prank.”
“Ask him!”
“You bet I will!”
Another angry silence fell between them. Lovino searched his mind for something to say, something that would make Gilbert calm down so that he'd listen. But he didn't know how to explain himself better. How had a misunderstanding of this magnitude even happened? Why hadn't they noticed anything earlier?
“Look, I'm sorry,” he muttered. “Go ahead and hate me. But I never thought you were cheap or dirty or anything like that.”
“That's not the problem. I mean, it's not my number one career choice or anything, but I have nothing against prostitutes. But, you know...” Gilbert shifted his weight from one foot to another. “I was king of getting into this, and I thought you were, too. But then you tell me you were only buying my body, and that's something that can make even the best guys feel down for a while.”
Lovino could only stare at him. Was it even possible for two such stupid people to exist in one place? He always told everyone Feliciano was the dumbass of the family, but clearly his own idiocy had simply been lying dormant until now. And Gilbert was just as bad.
“Didn't you hear what I just said? I wasn't just buying you! I like you, you fucking idiot! I thought you were the one who was just doing his job!”
“Huh?”
“Yeah! This whole time I though that –”
But Lovino never finished because that was when the janitor finally arrived. He smiled at them in amusement but didn't ask how they had ended up in such a situation. As soon as they were inside the apartment, Lovino slammed the door shut to the poor man's face without saying thank-you.
They remained standing in the hall, neither knowing what to do or say. After a while, Lovino took off Gilbert's jacket and shoved it into his arms.
“Right. I guess I'll go get dressed or something.”
Before he could do more than start to turn around, Gilbert dropped the jacket to the floor and grabbed his shoulders. Lovino wasn't surprised when he kissed him, but he was momentarily so overcome with emotion that he couldn't respond. He hadn't thought this would happen again, that Gilbert would still want to have anything to do with him.
He broke the kiss and pressed his head against Gilbert's chest, clutching at his back to keep him close. “I'm such a goddamn fool. Do you really still want to be with me?”
Gilbert laughed into his hair. “Sure, but this is going to be something we tell to everyone on our anniversary. Every year.”
“If you ever tell anyone, you won't live to see the first anniversary.”
“Give me a break and let me have some fun! You gave my self-esteem a tiny scratch today, so I deserve whatever I want.”
“A tiny scratch? You looked like you were going to bawl your eyes out!”
“Yeah? Well, you were so desperate for me that you forgot both your clothes and your keys when you chased me!”
Lovino tried to come up with a good retort, but Gilbert had a point. His answer was therefore a frustrated growl and pounding against Gilbert's shoulders with his fists to show that he wasn't pleased with the situation.
“Let me go so that I can put some damn clothes on. And then I'm making coffee. And then we're going to talk this through because after what just happened, I'm not letting you out of here until I know every single detail about your life, just to make sure shit like this doesn't happen again.”
“I can make the coffee while you get dressed.”
“I already told you I don't want your coffee. You don't make it strong enough.”
“I'd say you deserve that for this stupid stunt, but I think you've already been punished enough.”
Lovino stopped at the entrance to the living room and turned to look at him.
“What do you mean?”
“Come on! All this time you thought I was screwing with every random guy who waved money before my nose. Look at me! I'm hot! If I was able to have sex with myself, the mere thought of sharing would drive me insane with jealousy.”
“Ugh, you're unbelievable.”
Later, they cleared the remains of the misunderstanding as best as they could and even called Antonio to get his side of the story. When they finally realised just how everything had happened, all they could do was sit on the couch and let it sink in.
“That was pretty dumb,” Gilbert said.
“Yeah.”
“And now that it's all out in the open, what do you want to do?”
Lovino puffed his cheeks and blew some air out through his nose. “If you aren't totally sick of me after this, I guess we could try again or something. It can't be worse than what already happened.”
“Are you kidding? I already said we can try again! And you know what?” Gilbert gave him a slight shove and guided him down on his back on the couch. He leaned against him between his legs and rested his chin on Lovino's stomach. “This whole time, you thought I didn't give a shit about you, but me? I've been happier than in a long time because I thought we had a relationship going on. I figure it's only fair to let you know how nice that can feel.”
“You sound pretty confident.”
“That's because I'm the best boyfriend anyone could ask for! Your mind is going to be blown away when you realise how awesome this is going to be.”
“Or maybe I'll think the misunderstanding was the better arrangement,” Lovino muttered, but he didn't mean it, and based on the smug grin on Gilbert's face, he knew it, too.
jajfsdkjasfa that was a great ending! its sad that this fantastic fill has ended because of your perf writing but im also happy that i got to read the ending????!!!! i love this fill and will be one of my favourites for sure!!!!
I got this fic recommended from a friend and read all five chapters in one go, and all I have to say is - respect. This was a very complicated plot device with two very complicated characters and you managed A+++, on both fronts. Your Romano is one of the few ones I genuinely liked and thought believable, there was just the right mixture of him being insufferable and endearing. You did so well, authornon, and don't let me even start on how incredibly efficiently you wrapped up the whole plot with Lovino living in Germany for the reasons he did, and all the little cultural problems and homesickness making the plot juicy and believable. As for the plot itself, there was not a single moment when I would think this couldn't actually happen or that the coincidences went over the top, and the 5 chapters were just enough to wrap everything up. Lovino actually apologizing in the end won me over completely. And the right combination of humour, romance and the bit of drama was perfect.
Great fic, authornon, be proud of yourself. And thank you for the very pleasant read.
Finally, the happy ending!! I'm glad they cleared their misunderstanding in a sort of painless way, they're so cute together *__* But also, it's really sad to see this amazing fill end. I was always eager for an update! I'll sorely miss the reading and the waiting too. Anyway, thank you, Author!Anon for the gorgeous fill, and I surely hope to read more from you about this pairing because you're the best at it!
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Re: A Clean Sweep 5b/5
(Anonymous) 2013-07-20 04:16 pm (UTC)(link)“That was a little different,” Gilbert said. “I'm pretty sure you gave me a few nice bruises.”
“Sorry.”
“It's okay. I like it rough sometimes. But wow, what got into you today?”
“Don't talk, dammit. Just be still for a while.”
But they couldn't keep lying on the couch forever. Gilbert soon began to complain that there wasn't enough space and that his foot was falling asleep, so he slipped from under the blanket and began to look for his boxers on the floor. Lovino wanted to call him back because if he left, it would be all over, but he couldn't come up with a good excuse.
Maybe it was just as well, he thought as he followed Gilbert's example. He had left enough money in the kitchen to cover Gilbert's efforts and even included a big tip. He flipped through the notes one more time to make sure it was all there and returned to the living room where Gilbert had just turned on the TV and was flipping through sports channels.
He shoved the money in front of Gilbert's face.
“Here.”
“What?”
“Payment for today. And listen, I think it's the best if –”
“What payment? I didn't clean anything today.” Gilbert had found a channel that was showing football, so he wasn't even looking to Lovino as he spoke.
Lovino snorted and rolled his eyes. “Real funny, dumbass. Like it's the cleaning I pay you for.”
Now Gilbert turned to look at him.
“What?”
“Ha, you should see yourself in the mirror. I've never seen such a stupid look on your face.” Lovino tossed the money on the couch by Gilbert's side. “Just take it. We should be even now.”
“Lovino, what the fuck are you talking about?”
“The sex! Here's the money for the sex!” Based on the baffled look on Gilbert's face, they still weren't on the same page, so Lovino continued, “Did all the blood stay in your dick so that you can't think anymore? You're a prostitute and had sex with me, so here's the payment!”
“What... Lovino, what...? I'm not a prostitute!”
“What are you talking about? Of course you are! That's why Antonio gave me your number!”
“Did Antonio say I'm a prostitute?”
“No, but –”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Gilbert stood up and threw the remote control to the floor, sending the batteries flying. “I'm not a prostitute!”
“Yes, you are!”
Sudden anger replaced the confusion on Gilbert's face and twisted his features. “Wait. You mean that this whole time, you thought you were buying sex from me?”
“Yeah, because I thought... What? You really aren't a prostitute?”
Gilbert began to collect his clothes from the floor and threw them on, not caring that he put his T-shirt on the wrong way and that he couldn't find the left sock. His fury was clear in the harsh and uncoordinated movements of his hands, the way his teeth were clenched and the audible breathing. Lovino watched him and didn't know what to do.
“I'm giving all the money back. Just you wait. There's going to be a check in your mailbox tomorrow,” Gilbert announced on his way to the door. He marched outside and slammed it shut behind him so hard that Lovino was surprised the hinges didn't come off.
Gilbert wasn't a prostitute? But... how could...?
Fifteen seconds after Gilbert had left, Lovino realised something important. If Gilbert wasn't a prostitute, that meant he had kept coming back because he wanted to.
Fuck.
He ran to the door and wrenched it open.
“Bastard, wait!”
The elevator was in use, so Lovino began to run down the stairs. He had to reach Gilbert before he left the building. He had to talk to him now.
Gilbert was just about to step out the front door when Lovino found him.
“Stop right there! Don't go!”
Maybe he was only imagining it, but he look Gilbert threw into his direction wasn't as full of anger as back in his apartment. He reminded Lovino of a puppy that had been left in the rain.
“What the fuck do you want?” Gilbert asked.
“Come back inside. Let's talk.”
“What's there to talk about? I think I know pretty well what just happened here.”
“No, you dumbass! You got it all wrong!”
Gilbert laughed, a sharp sound like scraping a fork again a plate. “That's pretty great coming from you of all people.”
“I can explain everything! Just come back, dammit.”
“Why? I'm a real tough guy, but even I've got my limits and –” Gilbert's voice cracked, and he turned to look up at the ceiling, blinking. “Fuck.”
“I'm sorry. I'm a total idiot. I didn't want to hurt you. Just come on, let me fix this.”
“How? The whole time, you thought I was a prostitute!”
“I know! And it was totally killing me! But I don't want to talk about it here, so let's go!”
Gilbert gave him an unimpressed look, and at first Lovino thought he wasn't buying his words. Then he realised that he hadn't put anything on when he had left the apartment and was standing there in nothing but his boxers. He had to look ridiculous, and even though there were far more important matters to worry about, he could still feel heat rise to his cheeks.
“Please?” he added, most of his steam spent. He had no idea what to do if Gilbert said no. They had to clear this now, or it would never be the same again.
Gilbert sighed and threw up his hands. “Fine, but you're going to have to make it really good, okay?”
They climbed up the stairs to the floor where Lovino lived and found themselves facing a locked door. Lovino slammed his fists against it.
“Fuck! I left the keys inside!”
Gilbert refused to let him use his cell phone, so Lovino had to swallow his embarrassment and knock on his neighbour's door and ask for their phone so that he could call the janitor. The disapproving glares he received from the couple next door made him grit his teeth, and Gilbert's spiteful chuckling didn't help.
“You deserve this. I hope they'll never say good day to you again.”
“They never did in the first place. The stuck-up assholes don't like having an Italian neighbour.”
“Maybe I'll tell them you're the type of guy who hires prostitutes and see how much more hostile they can get.”
Lovino wanted to say something, but he couldn't force the words out. He crossed his arms on his chest and leaned back as they waited for the janitor to arrive and unlock the door. Neither spoke. After a while, the coolness of the wall began to seep into his back, and he straightened his form and rubbed his arms.
There was a sigh from his side, and Gilbert took off his jacket and tossed it to him.
“I'm so cool that I won't let even a jerk like you freeze,” he said in response to Lovino's questioning look.
Lovino pulled the jacket over his shoulders and huffed. “I'm glad you aren't a prostitute.”
“Oh, yeah? Why? Did you realise you could try to get me into your bed without payment?”
“No! Are you really that dumb? Okay, so I just wanted some sex at first, but... But you totally ruined it and made it complicated! I don't know how you did it and corrupted my superior Italian sensibilities, but I want you all for myself, and not just because the sex is great.”
“Then you should have just said that!”
“But I thought you were a prostitute and that I couldn't have you!”
Gilbert pursed his lips annoyance. “How the hell did you ever get that idea in the first place? I mean, sure, I'm so hot that anyone would be ready to pay to get me, but what the fuck? I run a cleaning service! Why did you think I cleaned your place every time?”
“I don't know! You're German! I thought it's necessary foreplay for you people before you can get it up or something! And it's all Antonio's fault anyway! He knew I was looking for a prostitute, and he gave me your number and said you're good.”
“No way. He'd never do that, not even as a prank.”
“Ask him!”
“You bet I will!”
Another angry silence fell between them. Lovino searched his mind for something to say, something that would make Gilbert calm down so that he'd listen. But he didn't know how to explain himself better. How had a misunderstanding of this magnitude even happened? Why hadn't they noticed anything earlier?
“Look, I'm sorry,” he muttered. “Go ahead and hate me. But I never thought you were cheap or dirty or anything like that.”
“That's not the problem. I mean, it's not my number one career choice or anything, but I have nothing against prostitutes. But, you know...” Gilbert shifted his weight from one foot to another. “I was king of getting into this, and I thought you were, too. But then you tell me you were only buying my body, and that's something that can make even the best guys feel down for a while.”
Lovino could only stare at him. Was it even possible for two such stupid people to exist in one place? He always told everyone Feliciano was the dumbass of the family, but clearly his own idiocy had simply been lying dormant until now. And Gilbert was just as bad.
“Didn't you hear what I just said? I wasn't just buying you! I like you, you fucking idiot! I thought you were the one who was just doing his job!”
“Huh?”
“Yeah! This whole time I though that –”
But Lovino never finished because that was when the janitor finally arrived. He smiled at them in amusement but didn't ask how they had ended up in such a situation. As soon as they were inside the apartment, Lovino slammed the door shut to the poor man's face without saying thank-you.
They remained standing in the hall, neither knowing what to do or say. After a while, Lovino took off Gilbert's jacket and shoved it into his arms.
“Right. I guess I'll go get dressed or something.”
Before he could do more than start to turn around, Gilbert dropped the jacket to the floor and grabbed his shoulders. Lovino wasn't surprised when he kissed him, but he was momentarily so overcome with emotion that he couldn't respond. He hadn't thought this would happen again, that Gilbert would still want to have anything to do with him.
He broke the kiss and pressed his head against Gilbert's chest, clutching at his back to keep him close. “I'm such a goddamn fool. Do you really still want to be with me?”
Gilbert laughed into his hair. “Sure, but this is going to be something we tell to everyone on our anniversary. Every year.”
“If you ever tell anyone, you won't live to see the first anniversary.”
“Give me a break and let me have some fun! You gave my self-esteem a tiny scratch today, so I deserve whatever I want.”
“A tiny scratch? You looked like you were going to bawl your eyes out!”
“Yeah? Well, you were so desperate for me that you forgot both your clothes and your keys when you chased me!”
Lovino tried to come up with a good retort, but Gilbert had a point. His answer was therefore a frustrated growl and pounding against Gilbert's shoulders with his fists to show that he wasn't pleased with the situation.
“Let me go so that I can put some damn clothes on. And then I'm making coffee. And then we're going to talk this through because after what just happened, I'm not letting you out of here until I know every single detail about your life, just to make sure shit like this doesn't happen again.”
“I can make the coffee while you get dressed.”
“I already told you I don't want your coffee. You don't make it strong enough.”
“I'd say you deserve that for this stupid stunt, but I think you've already been punished enough.”
Lovino stopped at the entrance to the living room and turned to look at him.
“What do you mean?”
“Come on! All this time you thought I was screwing with every random guy who waved money before my nose. Look at me! I'm hot! If I was able to have sex with myself, the mere thought of sharing would drive me insane with jealousy.”
“Ugh, you're unbelievable.”
Later, they cleared the remains of the misunderstanding as best as they could and even called Antonio to get his side of the story. When they finally realised just how everything had happened, all they could do was sit on the couch and let it sink in.
“That was pretty dumb,” Gilbert said.
“Yeah.”
“And now that it's all out in the open, what do you want to do?”
Lovino puffed his cheeks and blew some air out through his nose. “If you aren't totally sick of me after this, I guess we could try again or something. It can't be worse than what already happened.”
“Are you kidding? I already said we can try again! And you know what?” Gilbert gave him a slight shove and guided him down on his back on the couch. He leaned against him between his legs and rested his chin on Lovino's stomach. “This whole time, you thought I didn't give a shit about you, but me? I've been happier than in a long time because I thought we had a relationship going on. I figure it's only fair to let you know how nice that can feel.”
“You sound pretty confident.”
“That's because I'm the best boyfriend anyone could ask for! Your mind is going to be blown away when you realise how awesome this is going to be.”
“Or maybe I'll think the misunderstanding was the better arrangement,” Lovino muttered, but he didn't mean it, and based on the smug grin on Gilbert's face, he knew it, too.
Re: A Clean Sweep 5b/5
(Anonymous) 2013-07-21 01:53 am (UTC)(link)kind of sad to see it done, but will be bookmarking for the future.
Re: A Clean Sweep 5b/5
(Anonymous) 2013-07-21 08:55 am (UTC)(link)Re: A Clean Sweep 5b/5
(Anonymous) 2013-07-21 11:19 am (UTC)(link)Great fic, authornon, be proud of yourself. And thank you for the very pleasant read.
Re: A Clean Sweep 5b/5
(Anonymous) 2013-07-21 11:46 am (UTC)(link)But also, it's really sad to see this amazing fill end. I was always eager for an update! I'll sorely miss the reading and the waiting too. Anyway, thank you, Author!Anon for the gorgeous fill, and I surely hope to read more from you about this pairing because you're the best at it!
Re: A Clean Sweep 5b/5
(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 03:29 am (UTC)(link)