Kiku held his breath, looking at Yao almost expectantly. The weight of his confession hung in the air like smoke.
I’m gay.
It seemed perversely wrong, how two words could change Yao’s entire opinion of his little brother. And perverse was just the word for it, wasn’t it? It was... just wrong, for two men to love each other like that. And to think that his younger brother was part of that... It wasn’t right.
He turned away from Kiku, got up and left the room. He needed time alone, he needed to think. Somehow, he found himself continuing past his room, out the door, and down the street. Maybe that was for the best right now. He was not sure that he could deal with Kiku’s questions, or even with his other siblings right now.
It was still light outside, but the shadows were beginning to stretch and grow. Yao checked his watch. It was 7:36. He probably should have stayed, but he needed time to think, to rationalize. He found himself at a park. He sat down on a bench, still thinking. Kiku being gay was... surprising. He had always been so normal... How had this happened?
He had heard that being gay could be caused by childhood trauma... But that had never happened to Kiku... Right? Kiku would have told him. But...
No, Kiku would have told him. He knew that Kiku would have trusted him with that. He glanced at his watch. Twenty minutes had passed. He should be getting back to the house. Yao got up, and started walking back home, pushing all thoughts of Kiku out of his mind for now. He would figure that subject out later.
Days, then weeks passed. Kiku did not bring the subject up again, and Yao was content to make sleeping dogs lie. However, there was a sort of tenseness to all of his and Kiku’s interactions. There were even days where Kiku avoided him entirely.
It was best to let this whole thing blow over, Yao had decided. After the worries of the first night, Yao had decided that this was likely just a phase. Yao had mentioned this, albeit offhandedly, once. Kiku had avoided him entirely for the next two days, even eating dinner in his own room. Yao had decided not to mention it again.
He mused over this as he walked to his room. What stopped him, however, was the fact that he could hear voices coming from Kiku’s room. Normally he would assume that Kiku was just talking to his siblings, but he stopped and looked anyways, peeking into the room through the slightly open door.
But Kiku was not talking to Yon-Soo, as he had assumed. Kiku was sitting on the bed, with the other person presumably sitting across from him. Yao couldn’t see who the other man in the room was, not without opening the door more and giving himself away. The conversation between the two, however, was crystal clear.
“So how did it go?” The unknown voice asked. Kiku shrugged uncomfortably, absentmindedly hugging his pillow.
“Not good.”
“How so?” Kiku shrugged again in response.
“He just... didn’t say anything. He just got up and left.”
There was a sound of shifting cloth, before the other man spoke.
“Ouch. Did he say anything afterwards?”
“He said he thought that it was a phase. Who knows what he thought first, though.” Kiku sounded... hurt. Something in Yao’s stomach twisted. He wondered who the other person was, that Kiku would talk to him so... freely. Without his usual mask.
The other person tsked.
“Not awesome. It sucks that he seriously buys into that shit.”
“He usually doesn’t. That’s the thing. I thought he’d be...”
Silence hung in the air. Something seemed to be communicated, however, as the other man spoke.
“Come here.” It seemed oddly serious, a departure from his previously cocky sounding voice. Kiku shifted over, out of Yao’s veiw. There was the sound of rustling. When Kiku spoke again, it was muffled.
“I just... I really thought he’d... Why? I...” Kiku’s voice sounded raw. Yao gripped the doorframe so tightly his knuckles turned white.
The sound of shifting cloth returned, though quiet enough that Yao doubted he would have heard if if he had been listening so intently.
“ ‘S okay... That’s just usually how it goes. He’ll come around.” There was another slient moment. Yao stepped away from the door frame. If he listened to any more, he would interrupt the two, and part of him recoiled at the idea of knowing who else was in the room.
He moved mechanically to his room. Kiku had cried. He had cried on someone else’s shoulder because of Yao. Yao sat down on his bed, staring at the wall.
If Kiku had been that upset, maybe there really was something to Kiku being gay. Maybe...
Yao got under the covers, and turned out the lights. He still wasn’t really sure about whether or not this was a phase but...
Well, if it wasn’t, he’d be okay with that.
AN: I hope this is what OP wanted orz. I tried to make it more brotherly (my original draft felt too parentish), but I still feel like the reaction might have been more... underwhelming than you were looking for. Yao strikes me as more "ignorantly homophobic" than "hatefully homophobic" so that's how I tried to portray him. And then Kiku is super passive aggressive, but having been put through the whole "it's just a phase!" thing myself, it's really upsetting, especially when someone you really trust does it. Also, who was in the room with Kiku ooohh it is a mystery I guess. I did hint at who it was, though!
As a kinkmemer who came out a few years ago and whose own mother is "ignorantly homophobic," you handled writing this excellently. I really appreciate this request and fill. So much.
Fantastic writing here, author!anon. As a recently out kinkmeme member, you handled the subject very carefully and with a great amount of respect. Your writing style is great and the words you chose were very hard hitting. I cannot express how good this is, great job.
Brilliant anon! I have my guess at who it is... But I won't say it, as I don't want to ruin it for other readers. :) I think you took it in the right direction considering Yao's character. I agree that he doesn't seem like the kind to completely blow up over it.
Either way it was a very good fill. And I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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Re: Anyone; homophobic character finding out their younger sibling is gay
(Anonymous) 2013-04-05 01:34 am (UTC)(link)OP
(Anonymous) 2013-04-06 02:58 am (UTC)(link)Re: Anyone; homophobic character finding out their younger sibling is gay
(Anonymous) 2013-04-06 08:03 pm (UTC)(link)Kiku held his breath, looking at Yao almost expectantly. The weight of his confession hung in the air like smoke.
I’m gay.
It seemed perversely wrong, how two words could change Yao’s entire opinion of his little brother. And perverse was just the word for it, wasn’t it? It was... just wrong, for two men to love each other like that. And to think that his younger brother was part of that... It wasn’t right.
He turned away from Kiku, got up and left the room. He needed time alone, he needed to think. Somehow, he found himself continuing past his room, out the door, and down the street. Maybe that was for the best right now. He was not sure that he could deal with Kiku’s questions, or even with his other siblings right now.
It was still light outside, but the shadows were beginning to stretch and grow. Yao checked his watch. It was 7:36. He probably should have stayed, but he needed time to think, to rationalize.
He found himself at a park. He sat down on a bench, still thinking. Kiku being gay was... surprising. He had always been so normal... How had this happened?
He had heard that being gay could be caused by childhood trauma... But that had never happened to Kiku... Right? Kiku would have told him. But...
No, Kiku would have told him. He knew that Kiku would have trusted him with that. He glanced at his watch. Twenty minutes had passed. He should be getting back to the house. Yao got up, and started walking back home, pushing all thoughts of Kiku out of his mind for now. He would figure that subject out later.
Days, then weeks passed. Kiku did not bring the subject up again, and Yao was content to make sleeping dogs lie. However, there was a sort of tenseness to all of his and Kiku’s interactions. There were even days where Kiku avoided him entirely.
It was best to let this whole thing blow over, Yao had decided. After the worries of the first night, Yao had decided that this was likely just a phase. Yao had mentioned this, albeit offhandedly, once. Kiku had avoided him entirely for the next two days, even eating dinner in his own room. Yao had decided not to mention it again.
He mused over this as he walked to his room. What stopped him, however, was the fact that he could hear voices coming from Kiku’s room. Normally he would assume that Kiku was just talking to his siblings, but he stopped and looked anyways, peeking into the room through the slightly open door.
But Kiku was not talking to Yon-Soo, as he had assumed. Kiku was sitting on the bed, with the other person presumably sitting across from him. Yao couldn’t see who the other man in the room was, not without opening the door more and giving himself away. The conversation between the two, however, was crystal clear.
“So how did it go?” The unknown voice asked. Kiku shrugged uncomfortably, absentmindedly hugging his pillow.
“Not good.”
“How so?” Kiku shrugged again in response.
“He just... didn’t say anything. He just got up and left.”
There was a sound of shifting cloth, before the other man spoke.
“Ouch. Did he say anything afterwards?”
“He said he thought that it was a phase. Who knows what he thought first, though.” Kiku sounded... hurt. Something in Yao’s stomach twisted. He wondered who the other person was, that Kiku would talk to him so... freely. Without his usual mask.
The other person tsked.
“Not awesome. It sucks that he seriously buys into that shit.”
In which we start 2/2
(Anonymous) 2013-04-06 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)and then I didn't title it ;;“He usually doesn’t. That’s the thing. I thought he’d be...”
Silence hung in the air. Something seemed to be communicated, however, as the other man spoke.
“Come here.” It seemed oddly serious, a departure from his previously cocky sounding voice.
Kiku shifted over, out of Yao’s veiw. There was the sound of rustling. When Kiku spoke again, it was muffled.
“I just... I really thought he’d... Why? I...” Kiku’s voice sounded raw. Yao gripped the doorframe so tightly his knuckles turned white.
The sound of shifting cloth returned, though quiet enough that Yao doubted he would have heard if if he had been listening so intently.
“ ‘S okay... That’s just usually how it goes. He’ll come around.” There was another slient moment.
Yao stepped away from the door frame. If he listened to any more, he would interrupt the two, and part of him recoiled at the idea of knowing who else was in the room.
He moved mechanically to his room. Kiku had cried. He had cried on someone else’s shoulder because of Yao. Yao sat down on his bed, staring at the wall.
If Kiku had been that upset, maybe there really was something to Kiku being gay. Maybe...
Yao got under the covers, and turned out the lights. He still wasn’t really sure about whether or not this was a phase but...
Well, if it wasn’t, he’d be okay with that.
AN: I hope this is what OP wanted orz. I tried to make it more brotherly (my original draft felt too parentish), but I still feel like the reaction might have been more... underwhelming than you were looking for. Yao strikes me as more "ignorantly homophobic" than "hatefully homophobic" so that's how I tried to portray him. And then Kiku is super passive aggressive, but having been put through the whole "it's just a phase!" thing myself, it's really upsetting, especially when someone you really trust does it. Also, who was in the room with Kiku ooohh it is a mystery I guess. I did hint at who it was, though!
So, OP, I hope this satisfies you!
Re: In which we start 2/2
(Anonymous) 2013-04-06 09:31 pm (UTC)(link)As a kinkmemer who came out a few years ago and whose own mother is "ignorantly homophobic," you handled writing this excellently. I really appreciate this request and fill. So much.
Re: In which we start 2/2
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 12:16 am (UTC)(link)Kiku had cried. He had cried on someone else’s shoulder because of Yao. - this was a powerful idea.
Re: In which we start 2/2
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 11:34 am (UTC)(link)OP
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)Either way it was a very good fill. And I thoroughly enjoyed it.