The room was dark but for the flickering fire in the hearth. A huge, worn armchair cast a menacing shadow across the floor, covered with a costly Persian rug.
The chair creaked and a clink of china could be heard as a teacup was set down on the saucer, its edges decorated with delicate red roses. An annoyed huff and the sound of shuffling pages followed.
"Bollocks."
The personification of the Nation England - and occasionally the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland because his brothers were a bunch of twats and couldn't be trusted to act their age - was glaring darkly at the book in his hands; its pages still gleaming white and the cover positively screaming its newness and a bold title declaring All The Countries We've Ever Invaded - And The Few We Never Got Round To by Stuart Laycock.
"Bollocks," he repeated for effect and scowled.
Twenty-two countries.
His thick eyebrow twitched darkly as he slammed the book down onto the side table and picked up his tea, sipping it with pursed lips.
This wouldn't do at all. Something clearly needed to be done.
*********
"The fuck England?!"
Said Nation smirked smugly as he leant back in his throne-like armchair, his suit immaculate, as he took in America, carefully tied up and lying on the floor of his study, looking extremely flustered and enraged.
And cute but that was beside the point.
"Nothing much, love, I just need your assistance with this... project I have."
"... It isn't another pub tour mixed with masturbate-a-thon is it?"
England scowled. "Quiet you heathen, this is a serious matter."
America rolled his eyes but - bless the Queen - refrained from opening his huge mouth.
"I have recently been reminded that my horizons are not as wide I've thought," England stated calmly, pouring himself another cup of tea as he settled more comfortably into his armchair. "And I feel it is my duty to fix this problem."
America's face remained deadpan as England ploughed on. "I'm going to -temporarily - take over the world and you're going to help me."
"Wow wow wow, wait, what?" America spluttered. "Have you finally drunk too much tea and turned your brain to mush, dude? British Empire is over and done with! It's, like, ancient!"
"Don't be ridiculous," England waved his hand dismissively. "And I said temporarily and not all at once and forever. This is a very sensitive operation."
"I still don't see it. And can you let me out of these damned ropes?!"
England gave a long-suffering sigh but set down his cup and opened the knots with a quick and experienced twist of his wrist. Probably all the rigging from his pirate ("Privateer!") days and when he pretended to be a magician.
"Better?" he asked dryly.
"Absolutely perfect," America huffed.
A moment of silence was broken by a pitiful whine.
I am intruiged! I like your characterizatioon of England here; just the right mix of gentlemanly and bloodyminded. And his interaction with America iss hilarious, especially since they're so blasė about America being tied up on the floor . . .
Didn't see this on the Fills List - did you remember to post there? I'm so glad I had notifs on for this thread and saw this right away from that.
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The Conquest List: Prologue - warning: T/PG-13, CRACK, swearing, UKUS
(Anonymous) 2013-01-27 02:45 pm (UTC)(link)(First fill ever, lol.)
*********
The room was dark but for the flickering fire in the hearth. A huge, worn armchair cast a menacing shadow across the floor, covered with a costly Persian rug.
The chair creaked and a clink of china could be heard as a teacup was set down on the saucer, its edges decorated with delicate red roses. An annoyed huff and the sound of shuffling pages followed.
"Bollocks."
The personification of the Nation England - and occasionally the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland because his brothers were a bunch of twats and couldn't be trusted to act their age - was glaring darkly at the book in his hands; its pages still gleaming white and the cover positively screaming its newness and a bold title declaring All The Countries We've Ever Invaded - And The Few We Never Got Round To by Stuart Laycock.
"Bollocks," he repeated for effect and scowled.
Twenty-two countries.
His thick eyebrow twitched darkly as he slammed the book down onto the side table and picked up his tea, sipping it with pursed lips.
This wouldn't do at all. Something clearly needed to be done.
*********
"The fuck England?!"
Said Nation smirked smugly as he leant back in his throne-like armchair, his suit immaculate, as he took in America, carefully tied up and lying on the floor of his study, looking extremely flustered and enraged.
And cute but that was beside the point.
"Nothing much, love, I just need your assistance with this... project I have."
"... It isn't another pub tour mixed with masturbate-a-thon is it?"
England scowled. "Quiet you heathen, this is a serious matter."
America rolled his eyes but - bless the Queen - refrained from opening his huge mouth.
"I have recently been reminded that my horizons are not as wide I've thought," England stated calmly, pouring himself another cup of tea as he settled more comfortably into his armchair. "And I feel it is my duty to fix this problem."
America's face remained deadpan as England ploughed on. "I'm going to -temporarily - take over the world and you're going to help me."
"Wow wow wow, wait, what?" America spluttered. "Have you finally drunk too much tea and turned your brain to mush, dude? British Empire is over and done with! It's, like, ancient!"
"Don't be ridiculous," England waved his hand dismissively. "And I said temporarily and not all at once and forever. This is a very sensitive operation."
"I still don't see it. And can you let me out of these damned ropes?!"
England gave a long-suffering sigh but set down his cup and opened the knots with a quick and experienced twist of his wrist. Probably all the rigging from his pirate ("Privateer!") days and when he pretended to be a magician.
"Better?" he asked dryly.
"Absolutely perfect," America huffed.
A moment of silence was broken by a pitiful whine.
"... Why me?"
"You'll see, my dear, you'll see."
Re: The Conquest List: Prologue - warning: T/PG-13, CRACK, swearing, UKUS
(Anonymous) 2013-01-27 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)Re: The Conquest List: Prologue - warning: T/PG-13, CRACK, swearing, UKUS
(Anonymous) 2013-01-28 10:48 am (UTC)(link)A!Anon
Re: The Conquest List: Prologue - warning: T/PG-13, CRACK, swearing, UKUS
(Anonymous) 2013-01-27 07:13 pm (UTC)(link)Didn't see this on the Fills List - did you remember to post there? I'm so glad I had notifs on for this thread and saw this right away from that.
Re: The Conquest List: Prologue - warning: T/PG-13, CRACK, swearing, UKUS
(Anonymous) 2013-01-28 10:37 am (UTC)(link)This n00b A!Anon will go take care of that fill list right now :D
Re: The Conquest List: Prologue - warning: T/PG-13, CRACK, swearing, UKUS
(Anonymous) 2013-01-28 03:36 am (UTC)(link)(Does this England has OCD? Because OCD!England is what it reminds me of)
A!Anon: The Conquest List: Prologue - warning: T/PG-13, CRACK, swearing, UKUS
(Anonymous) 2013-01-28 10:48 am (UTC)(link)(I'm... not sure? Whatever it is, it's England being England.)