“Let me get this straight,” Obama said flatly, the following day. “Some reporter caught the whole thing on the microphone, but we managed to have all of it wiped except for the last part about missile defense?”
Alfred cringed slightly. “Ooh, yeah, that was me. Sorry about that. Steve called, said he was milking the Indecision 2012 thing for all it was worth and could use more material.”
Obama stared at him incredulously. “Do you... want Romney or Santorum? Is that it?”
“Yes. Wait, no!” Alfred looked faintly panicked. “I mean... I mean...” His shoulders slumped slightly. “I don't know.”
Obama looked at him worriedly. If his approval ratings were bad enough that even the personification of his country wanted him gone, then he didn't stand a chance in the upcoming election.
His nation apparently noticed the look of concern on his face. “No, wait, that's not what I...” Alfred hesitated, sniffling with his cold and glancing to the side. “Look, I know I said stuff... earlier, but I didn't mean it.” He shrugged helplessly. “It's tough sharing opinions with three hundred million people at the same time. Sometimes I don't even know what I think.” He paused, twiddling his fingers. “But I do know that unemployment's gone down since you took office, and overall the economy's improving, at a snail's pace, but I'll take that over straight dropping like it used to, and you aren't trying to shove religion into the government, and I know you're trying really hard and you've been a really good sport about all the crap people have been giving you, including me, and... well, other countries haven't really wanted to work with me since Clinton left office, but now they do, which is awesome, 'cause it was getting a little lonely, so... yeah. Sorry.”
The president blinked, taken aback and quite touched. “...That's alright, Alfred. I'm just a little worried about what this microphone gaffe might mean for my campaign.”
Alfred shrugged and grinned. “Pfft, don't worry about it, in a couple of weeks people won't even be talking about it anymore,” he said airily. He paused, as if suddenly remembering something. “Oh, by the way, me and Ivan met up with Yong Soo while you and Medvedev were meeting, and things kinda got... um.”
The gratified feeling quickly began to slip away.
“So... yeah. They've probably found what we left at the National Museum by now. Just a heads-up, you might get a call from... somebody. Tell 'em I'm not here, okay?” The nation fled.
“Alfred, get back here.”
***
(A/N: Steve, of course, refers to Stephen Colbert, who is too awesome for the job of presidency but would probably rock at it.)
This is hilarious! I loved the bit about Obama not wanting to his daughter's teenage years to be like that and how he wanted to complain about Alfred but then had to quickly backtrack.
pffffft, oh anon, you deserve several internets for this fill. Obama's interactions with America and with Medvedev were amazing! I can't count how many times I cracked up during this fill.
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Like Herding Cats (4/4)
(Anonymous) 2012-05-01 04:10 am (UTC)(link)Alfred cringed slightly. “Ooh, yeah, that was me. Sorry about that. Steve called, said he was milking the Indecision 2012 thing for all it was worth and could use more material.”
Obama stared at him incredulously. “Do you... want Romney or Santorum? Is that it?”
“Yes. Wait, no!” Alfred looked faintly panicked. “I mean... I mean...” His shoulders slumped slightly. “I don't know.”
Obama looked at him worriedly. If his approval ratings were bad enough that even the personification of his country wanted him gone, then he didn't stand a chance in the upcoming election.
His nation apparently noticed the look of concern on his face. “No, wait, that's not what I...” Alfred hesitated, sniffling with his cold and glancing to the side. “Look, I know I said stuff... earlier, but I didn't mean it.” He shrugged helplessly. “It's tough sharing opinions with three hundred million people at the same time. Sometimes I don't even know what I think.” He paused, twiddling his fingers. “But I do know that unemployment's gone down since you took office, and overall the economy's improving, at a snail's pace, but I'll take that over straight dropping like it used to, and you aren't trying to shove religion into the government, and I know you're trying really hard and you've been a really good sport about all the crap people have been giving you, including me, and... well, other countries haven't really wanted to work with me since Clinton left office, but now they do, which is awesome, 'cause it was getting a little lonely, so... yeah. Sorry.”
The president blinked, taken aback and quite touched. “...That's alright, Alfred. I'm just a little worried about what this microphone gaffe might mean for my campaign.”
Alfred shrugged and grinned. “Pfft, don't worry about it, in a couple of weeks people won't even be talking about it anymore,” he said airily. He paused, as if suddenly remembering something. “Oh, by the way, me and Ivan met up with Yong Soo while you and Medvedev were meeting, and things kinda got... um.”
The gratified feeling quickly began to slip away.
“So... yeah. They've probably found what we left at the National Museum by now. Just a heads-up, you might get a call from... somebody. Tell 'em I'm not here, okay?” The nation fled.
“Alfred, get back here.”
***
(A/N: Steve, of course, refers to Stephen Colbert, who is too awesome for the job of presidency but would probably rock at it.)
Re: Like Herding Cats (4/4)
(Anonymous) 2012-05-01 07:02 am (UTC)(link)Also England's phone call was brilliant.
OP
(Anonymous) 2012-05-01 08:02 am (UTC)(link)Re: Like Herding Cats (4/4)
(Anonymous) 2012-05-01 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)HAVE MY BABIES, anon. This fill was perfect! <3
I honestly fear what would happen if Romney were to become president. "America doesn't have to apologise for anything!" Uggghhhhhh--
Re: Like Herding Cats (4/4)
(Anonymous) 2012-05-02 01:40 am (UTC)(link)I about died at that line. This was awesome, anon!
Re: Like Herding Cats (4/4)
(Anonymous) 2012-05-02 02:23 pm (UTC)(link)“He's your problem now, fucker!” Oh, England, just... never change.
Re: Like Herding Cats (4/4)
(Anonymous) 2012-05-05 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)That aside: Insert laughter here.
Re: Like Herding Cats (4/4)
(Anonymous) 2012-06-05 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)