I like this so far, Authornon! I think it'll turn into something really great~
However, I do have a tiny detail I want to point out. You have a tendency to switch between present and past tense without warning; as much as that's a valid technique for a story, it doesn't quite work if you do it in the same paragraph. ^^ Just keep an eye out for that~
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Re: If And or But -- 1/?
(Anonymous) 2012-04-09 03:46 am (UTC)(link)However, I do have a tiny detail I want to point out. You have a tendency to switch between present and past tense without warning; as much as that's a valid technique for a story, it doesn't quite work if you do it in the same paragraph. ^^ Just keep an eye out for that~
I am definitely watching this story though. \o/
Re: If And or But -- 1/?
(Anonymous) 2012-04-09 10:16 pm (UTC)(link)