I had some issues with your characterisation here.
Watersports are great and all, but if my partner found it acceptable to piss on me without asking first, I would not be happy. Alfred is a somewhat self-absorbed character, but it's not in a malicious way - I don't think he'd do something like that without consent and then go "admit you liked watching me take a piss". For a man in a homosexual relationship, he was also displaying remarkable heights of homophobia in this fic. I can understand jokey statements and don't usually mind them, but "obviously queer boyfriend" - is that not, y'know, the point? The same might well apply to Alfred.
And then Arthur, as annoyed for him as I felt initially, turned into a patronising bastard. It just seems like lazy writing to have him go "I was an Empire once and that's the only thing that makes me valid so listen to me". Is he not allowed some kind of validation aside from the past? Is this some kind of dysfunctional relationship you're trying to paint here? It doesn't feel like a working relationship at all.
In comparison, this is a tiny gripe, but... London's not the best city in the world but public urination really isn't allowed here. I wouldn't go around calling Washington a urinal, it would just be needlessly disrespectful. I'd understand if this was a fic in which Alfred and Arthur were at war or something, but it's unnecessary here.
Okay London!anon. Author!Anon can't have you thinking she's needlessly hating on your lovely city, so let's just have us a little talk.
First off, I make no apologies for poor writing. I skimped on the plot and dialogue to get to the yummy part faster. Yeah, the empire bit's a cop out. Yeah, America's a douchebag. Still, I make no apologies for giving the OP exactly what they asked for; mindless piss smut. It's drivel. However, I have no regrets.
Here's the important bit though. I'm sure London is really fabulous, I'd love to go there, but if the BBC says the walls of the National Gallery in Trafalgar Square are eroding because so many people piss on it so much... it may not be legal, but it is definitely happening. Please don't think I'm hating on London. In major population centers, it's just unavoidable. My city is quite small in comparison, and we have serious trouble with public urination HERE. I can't imagine how bad a big city like London is. If it's anything like what I've seen in New York and Tokyo, it's probably awful.
Lastly, dirty talk is often degrading in nature. America could say London was a "piss-soaked cesspool of debauchery and corruption," and that'd probably be like the nation equivalent of, "oh baby you're such a dirty whore." They're just baiting each other. America teases him for being girly, and then says the raunchiest, naughtiest things he can to help England get off.
I don't think London is a urinal. Forgive me, dear anon. I truly meant you no disrespect.
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Re: "Extremo Citrico Vibrante" 5/5
(Anonymous) 2012-04-02 12:58 am (UTC)(link)Watersports are great and all, but if my partner found it acceptable to piss on me without asking first, I would not be happy. Alfred is a somewhat self-absorbed character, but it's not in a malicious way - I don't think he'd do something like that without consent and then go "admit you liked watching me take a piss". For a man in a homosexual relationship, he was also displaying remarkable heights of homophobia in this fic. I can understand jokey statements and don't usually mind them, but "obviously queer boyfriend" - is that not, y'know, the point? The same might well apply to Alfred.
And then Arthur, as annoyed for him as I felt initially, turned into a patronising bastard. It just seems like lazy writing to have him go "I was an Empire once and that's the only thing that makes me valid so listen to me". Is he not allowed some kind of validation aside from the past? Is this some kind of dysfunctional relationship you're trying to paint here? It doesn't feel like a working relationship at all.
In comparison, this is a tiny gripe, but... London's not the best city in the world but public urination really isn't allowed here. I wouldn't go around calling Washington a urinal, it would just be needlessly disrespectful. I'd understand if this was a fic in which Alfred and Arthur were at war or something, but it's unnecessary here.
Re: "Extremo Citrico Vibrante" 5/5
(Anonymous) 2012-04-02 08:06 am (UTC)(link)First off, I make no apologies for poor writing. I skimped on the plot and dialogue to get to the yummy part faster. Yeah, the empire bit's a cop out. Yeah, America's a douchebag. Still, I make no apologies for giving the OP exactly what they asked for; mindless piss smut. It's drivel. However, I have no regrets.
Here's the important bit though. I'm sure London is really fabulous, I'd love to go there, but if the BBC says the walls of the National Gallery in Trafalgar Square are eroding because so many people piss on it so much... it may not be legal, but it is definitely happening. Please don't think I'm hating on London. In major population centers, it's just unavoidable. My city is quite small in comparison, and we have serious trouble with public urination HERE. I can't imagine how bad a big city like London is. If it's anything like what I've seen in New York and Tokyo, it's probably awful.
Lastly, dirty talk is often degrading in nature. America could say London was a "piss-soaked cesspool of debauchery and corruption," and that'd probably be like the nation equivalent of, "oh baby you're such a dirty whore." They're just baiting each other. America teases him for being girly, and then says the raunchiest, naughtiest things he can to help England get off.
I don't think London is a urinal. Forgive me, dear anon. I truly meant you no disrespect.