This is totally a matter of personal taste, but I wish you hadn't written in first person. This is an interesting prompt, and I'd like to read what you write next. But sometimes first person comes across as the author projecting too much of him/herself into the voice of the characters. And in third person you wouldn't have to mark POV, because the readers would immediately know who's the main character of a passage from things like "...Iceland mused as he stared out the window".
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Re: Just a Fifth Wheel [prologue/?]
(Anonymous) 2012-03-15 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)And in third person you wouldn't have to mark POV, because the readers would immediately know who's the main character of a passage from things like "...Iceland mused as he stared out the window".
Just a totally objective thought : )
Re: Just a Fifth Wheel [prologue/?]
(Anonymous) 2012-03-16 07:34 am (UTC)(link)