America shifted uncomfortably in his arms. "W-what happened?"
England closed his eyes and placed his face in America's hair, "My labor was long and painful. I didn't have the energy to stand or even sit, so I had to give birth lying down. I cried when I felt her coming, partially from the pain and partially because I was sure I had miscarried. I didn't bother getting her until she started screaming and I realized she was alive.
"I cleaned her and held her close. I was surprised that she was able to get milk from me, but she drank her fill and went to sleep. Right then and there I decided that whatever I did I was not going to let her die.
"Somehow we made it. I was so hungry that I ate the afterbirth like an animal, but it helped me recover enough that I could make it to town. I was scared to leave her alone, but I knew that was the only way we could survive. Thankfully, I had taken a large sum of money with me when I went into hiding. I went into town and bought as much food as I could carry. I remember that I couldn't even wait until I got home. I ate a whole loaf of bread on the road. It was the most delicious thing I've ever tasted."
"Did she survive?" America asked in a small voice.
England smiled, "Yes. Audrey actually probably grew to be the strongest of all my children. She had a fiery spirit, that one. Once she was old enough we actually hid her gender and she and I joined the army to fight Scotland. She had this long affair with a captain, actually. They got married when he first got her pregnant, but she basically had her baby and went right back to fighting. I remember the general told me that in spite of lying about her gender and the insubordination, she was too good of a shot with the longbow to give up." He laughed, "She was a fantastic woman. I miss her so much sometimes." He nuzzled America, "But do you realize why I told you this?"
"To make me feel like a whiny little ass?" America asked.
"No. Not at all." He gently stroked America's side, "I would never mock you. I wasn't ready physically and you're not ready mentally, but I made it through and so can you. I can relate to you at least on some level. And whenever you worry if it's worth it," He lifted his head and nuzzled America, "I can at least try to tell you how it feels when your child says its first words, or takes its first steps, or even just looks at you and smiles.
"Babies are stressful things, and I would have to be stupid to say otherwise especially after how many I've dealt with. But they're worth it. Oh God, America, are they worth it. When that baby is born, you're their entire world. You're their warmth, their food, their comfort, their shelter, their playmate, their everything. To have something that loves you so unconditionally, so unequivocally, it defies language." He kissed him on the temple, "But you'll know. Soon you'll understand what it's like."
America was silent for a minute, and then he said, "I'm still scared."
"I know, love." England stroked his hair, "And it's alright to be scared. But trust me when I say that I'll be here. I'll always be here."
He rolled over and buried his face in England's chest. "Thanks," He said, even though his voice was slightly muffled.
England stroked his hair and smiled, happy that he had been able to help on some level at least.
Still looking awesome, this fill is. (Wherefore like Yoda I speak, I know not.)
Honestly, I think this is my favorite chapter in the fill so far. It really feels to me like the emotions between England and America are a lot more apparent in this chapter than in earlier ones (which does make sense, since their relationship was still very much developing in those chapters), and I found it much easier to let myself get drawn into the story. It even got to where I had the same "wait, what?" moment as England when America asked what would happen if he killed himself, and that almost never happens to me when I'm reading a fic. Great job on that.
The backstory of England's first pregnancy is also very well done, IMO. And I hope that England sharing his own hardship during his first pregnancy actually has helped ease America's emotional turmoil over his. It is rough to have a child during your teenage years when you're still very much a child yourself, but he is in a better position than many teen parents in terms of having the proper care and support during pregnancy. Things should far and away go much smoother for him than they did for England that first time.
... oh, and I almost forgot to mention the sex. I'm going to drop all pretenses of being even somewhat cultured now and say that THAT WAS REALLY HOT. I have the biggest kink for America riding during sex, and all the biting and scratching was just icing on the cake. I do not exaggerate when I say I need a change of panties after reading that.
So all in all, A!Anon, I think you're doing a fantastic job! I look forward to the next installment! :D
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A Year of Surprises [5h/12]
(Anonymous) 2012-03-11 01:53 am (UTC)(link)America shifted uncomfortably in his arms. "W-what happened?"
England closed his eyes and placed his face in America's hair, "My labor was long and painful. I didn't have the energy to stand or even sit, so I had to give birth lying down. I cried when I felt her coming, partially from the pain and partially because I was sure I had miscarried. I didn't bother getting her until she started screaming and I realized she was alive.
"I cleaned her and held her close. I was surprised that she was able to get milk from me, but she drank her fill and went to sleep. Right then and there I decided that whatever I did I was not going to let her die.
"Somehow we made it. I was so hungry that I ate the afterbirth like an animal, but it helped me recover enough that I could make it to town. I was scared to leave her alone, but I knew that was the only way we could survive. Thankfully, I had taken a large sum of money with me when I went into hiding. I went into town and bought as much food as I could carry. I remember that I couldn't even wait until I got home. I ate a whole loaf of bread on the road. It was the most delicious thing I've ever tasted."
"Did she survive?" America asked in a small voice.
England smiled, "Yes. Audrey actually probably grew to be the strongest of all my children. She had a fiery spirit, that one. Once she was old enough we actually hid her gender and she and I joined the army to fight Scotland. She had this long affair with a captain, actually. They got married when he first got her pregnant, but she basically had her baby and went right back to fighting. I remember the general told me that in spite of lying about her gender and the insubordination, she was too good of a shot with the longbow to give up." He laughed, "She was a fantastic woman. I miss her so much sometimes." He nuzzled America, "But do you realize why I told you this?"
"To make me feel like a whiny little ass?" America asked.
"No. Not at all." He gently stroked America's side, "I would never mock you. I wasn't ready physically and you're not ready mentally, but I made it through and so can you. I can relate to you at least on some level. And whenever you worry if it's worth it," He lifted his head and nuzzled America, "I can at least try to tell you how it feels when your child says its first words, or takes its first steps, or even just looks at you and smiles.
"Babies are stressful things, and I would have to be stupid to say otherwise especially after how many I've dealt with. But they're worth it. Oh God, America, are they worth it. When that baby is born, you're their entire world. You're their warmth, their food, their comfort, their shelter, their playmate, their everything. To have something that loves you so unconditionally, so unequivocally, it defies language." He kissed him on the temple, "But you'll know. Soon you'll understand what it's like."
America was silent for a minute, and then he said, "I'm still scared."
"I know, love." England stroked his hair, "And it's alright to be scared. But trust me when I say that I'll be here. I'll always be here."
He rolled over and buried his face in England's chest. "Thanks," He said, even though his voice was slightly muffled.
England stroked his hair and smiled, happy that he had been able to help on some level at least.
Re: A Year of Surprises [5h/12]
(Anonymous) 2012-03-12 03:31 am (UTC)(link)Honestly, I think this is my favorite chapter in the fill so far. It really feels to me like the emotions between England and America are a lot more apparent in this chapter than in earlier ones (which does make sense, since their relationship was still very much developing in those chapters), and I found it much easier to let myself get drawn into the story. It even got to where I had the same "wait, what?" moment as England when America asked what would happen if he killed himself, and that almost never happens to me when I'm reading a fic. Great job on that.
The backstory of England's first pregnancy is also very well done, IMO. And I hope that England sharing his own hardship during his first pregnancy actually has helped ease America's emotional turmoil over his. It is rough to have a child during your teenage years when you're still very much a child yourself, but he is in a better position than many teen parents in terms of having the proper care and support during pregnancy. Things should far and away go much smoother for him than they did for England that first time.
... oh, and I almost forgot to mention the sex. I'm going to drop all pretenses of being even somewhat cultured now and say that THAT WAS REALLY HOT. I have the biggest kink for America riding during sex, and all the biting and scratching was just icing on the cake. I do not exaggerate when I say I need a change of panties after reading that.
So all in all, A!Anon, I think you're doing a fantastic job! I look forward to the next installment! :D
Re: A Year of Surprises [5h/12]
(Anonymous) 2012-03-13 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)