Hetalia kink meme (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hetalia_kink) wrote2012-06-03 02:47 pm
hetalia_kink) wrote2012-06-03 02:47 pm
Hetalia Kink meme part 15
axis powers
hetalia kink meme
part 15
hetalia kink meme
part 15
Ahh yeah that is the super duper delayed Christmas reveal for 2009 LOL...just found the time to finish it now...
clean wallpaper version HERE
clean wallpaper version HERE
Operation Hook France and Canada Up (5)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-10 12:06 am (UTC)(link)“Do you know what you want, or shall I come back in a few minutes?” England asked.
“I’ll go with the foie gras,” Canada muttered.
England smiled at him and decided that what was good enough for Canada was good enough for France, and so he left without getting the latter’s order.
“Really my dear,” America echoed back at him snarkily.
He handed over the remote. “Make him suffer.”
“I love you.”
“I know.” He winked at him before going to go cook.
Back in the room, Canada helped France back into his seat. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what’s gotten into them, really, they’ve just, you know, randomly decided, ha ha, to you know, do things that are very odd and I’m so sorry and oh dear I’m rambling and wait where’s Mr. Kumajirou?”
Ignoring France, who looked miffed that he was being left behind for a bear, Canada ran over to the door and knocked on it. He assumed the glass looking into the room was one-sided and didn’t feel like yelling at someone he couldn’t see but could see him. He banged on the door until America opened it up a crack.
“Um, we punish insolence, bwa ha ha?”
“Shut up! Where’s Mr. Kumajirou?”
“Who?”
Oh, that was refreshing, to hear people wonder who that stupid bear was as opposed to said stupid bear wondering who he was. “The bear that I always have with me!”
“Ohhh. Right. He’s getting to see a bit of the world, you know? He’s on a journey!”
“He’s with China isn’t he,” he hissed.
America guilty closed the door and locked it.
Canada sighed. He’d get Mr. Kumajirou back, although likely tie-dyed black, and maybe the stupid bear would remember who he was now. He shuffled to go sit back down across from France. “Sorry about that.”
France waved that away with a hand before casually drinking his wine. “Not a problem,” he said, his English stilted. “I do not blame you for worrying about your bear. In fact, I, too, was worried about your bear, and thus I hope he is okay.”
Canada raised an eyebrow at him. “What…?”
France pointed to the shock collar. Then Canada understood: France was going to do his best to not get shocked the rest of the night. Good for him. “Thank you,” he said pleasantly. “I think he will be, although he might think he’s a panda. How are you doing? I’m sorry my brother is-” quickly realizing that America might punish France for any insults that even Canada gave him, he quickly amended – “so protective of me, and the best brother I’ve ever had.”
“This is also not a problem,” said France, eyes twinkling, thanking Canada for playing along, “I am just glad that I will be able to spend a nice evening with one of my favorite people, by which I mean you, Canada, and that America and England” Canada was impressed at France’s self-control at referring to them in their English names “are so kind as to set this up for us. They are wonderful people. In fact I am so looking forward to this that I think we should do it again later this week, perhaps Friday night?”
Canada blushed to the roots of his hair. France was asking him out on a date… without voyeurs! “That sounds lovely,” he admitted, looking at the empty plate.
England brought out their meals to where America was standing and shared a look of surprise with him. “I can’t believe this actually worked,” he admitted.
“Oh come on, this is the best plan ever! Didja hear him? I’m the best brother he’s ever had.” America preened like a peacock.
England didn’t point out the obvious fact that America was the only brother Canada had, but instead smiled and patted his hand. Slipping the remote into his pocket just in case, he went out to serve the happy couple their dinners.
Xxx
Operation Hook France and Canada Up (6)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-10 12:08 am (UTC)(link)“CANADA!” the bear cried, latching on to his leg. China huffed something about ingrates and left.
Canada beamed. Not only did he have a date, with France, but Mr. Kumajirou knew his name!
This was the best day ever!
xxx
“Operation Hook France and Canada Up, Although If That Frenchie Hurts My Little Bro I’ll Pwn Him” Step Two: jealousy
“Sooo Caaanaaadaaa,” America crooned, smirking, “to help make your loneliness go away, I found you a new boyfriend!”
Canada froze in the middle of the hall. Kumajirou, spots still fading, peeked over his shoulder before squeaking and hiding in his arms. “Eh?” He glanced over his own shoulder.
“He’s a cutie,” Poland said with a bright smile.
---
TBC, bum bum buuuuuum...
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (6)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-10 12:43 am (UTC)(link)Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (6)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-10 01:28 am (UTC)(link)Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (6)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-10 03:42 am (UTC)(link)you must be in my head. i LOVE America and England bonding over cruelty to France. i love it.
i'll be watching this~ <3
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (6)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-10 04:50 am (UTC)(link)And China stealing Kumajirou!
This is brilliant, I can't wait for more
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (6)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-10 05:32 am (UTC)(link)Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (6)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-10 06:38 am (UTC)(link)Such a great story
Operation Hook France and Canada Up (7)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-11 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)---
“What have you done!” Canada demanded, gripping America’s jacket hard enough to rip. “What – why – how – what!”
“If France is jealous of your completely believable relationship with Poland, then he’ll be more likely to do things like ask you to marry him!” America replied easily. “Which, by the way, he’ll have to do if he ever wants to have sex with you and not die painfully afterward.”
“That’s like really old-fashioned, but whatever,” Poland murmured, buffing his fingernails.
Canada shook that jacket harder. “We’re already going out on a date! It’s tomorrow night!”
“You’re such a player!” America laughed.
“This isn’t funny, Alfred Fairfax Jones,” Canada growled. “This is very much not funny.”
Poland sighed, standing up. “I don’t know what’s worse, that the F stands for Fairfax, or that you’re, like, so against going out with me.”
America gave Poland a desperate look. “Never pass that on! No one can know that awful middle name!”
“Whatever.”
“And it’s not that I’m particularly averse to you, Poland,” Canada added desperately, “but I already sort of have a boyfriend, so really…”
“You don’t have to justify yourself,” he pouted. “I get it. You can’t handle my sheer fabulousity.”
“Eh?” was all Canada could think to ask.
“Not many people can,” Poland continued, still pouting, “I mean, like, no one I know can. So, you know, even though I like, was totally into going on a date with you, I’ll just walk away now, because yeah.”
Canada was, unfortunately for him, a very empathetic individual. “All right, I’ll go on a date with you,” he said helplessly.
“Sweet,” said Poland. America smiled in victory.
Xxx
“I’m really sorry but I have to cancel dinner for tomorrow,” Canada mourned into the phone.
France sounded surprised. “Pourquoi?”
“Because my brother is an idiot.”
There was a cheerful laugh. “If that were the reason, then we would never have our date, now would we?”
Canada didn’t know what was better – that France didn’t resent him, or that France had referred to their next dinner as a date. He giggled and then mentally smacked himself for giggling. “Yes, but you see, um, he set me up on a date. With Poland. And-”
There was raucous laughter. Realizing just how ridiculous the situation was, Canada laughed too. “Yeah. So I’m going on a date with Poland instead of you. But not because I want to! Because I feel bad for him, and because my brother is incroyablement stupid.”
France finally recovered from the laughter and although he couldn’t see it, he just knew that he was nodding in agreement. “Oui, mon ange. I shall find something else to occupy my time while I pine for you. Are you free the next day?”
Canada made a big show of looking into his empty plan book. “I think I am,” he said, trying to not sound too eager, but he was grinning like an idiot.
“Excellente. Oh, and might I suggest you brush up on your French? Just in case we have any voyeurs.”
Canada beamed. “Oui, c’est une merveilleuse idée! I know America doesn’t know any French beyond that one song about prostitutes.”
“Ooo, which song is that?”
Canada hung up on him, still smiling.
Xxx
France was not, contrary to popular belief, incredibly inept. When shoved into a room with Canada and a romantic dinner, he was able to assume that it meant the boy had some feelings for him.
He was not complaining about this.
Canada was a breath of fresh air in the political world: polite yet sticking to his ideals, honest yet strong. The fact that he was easy on the eyes, adored France already, they had a pleasant past, and that he had a twin? Oo la la.
So no, France wasn’t the least bit jealous that Canada was on a “date” with Poland. He was, however, bored. Which meant that it was time for his favorite activity: England Baiting ™.
Operation Hook France and Canada Up (8)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-11 07:33 pm (UTC)(link)“Bonjour, Angleterre,” he purred, sliding up behind the Englishman and copping a feel. He skillfully dodged the retaliatory smack. “Ah ah ah, getting slow in your old age?”
“You’re one to talk,” England snapped back, although it lacked venom.
France grinned. “L’amour has mellowed you, mon ami. I approve. It’s a good look for you.”
“Shut it, frog.”
Well. If that’s how he wanted to play it… France put on his most infuriating smirk as he crooned, “It’s incredible what a young lover can do for you, am I right?”
England’s back went rigid. This was the first time France had attacked his relationship with America, and he found himself angrier than he expected he’d be. England obviously knew that France intended it as an insult, even if not on the surface. “Oh?”
“Surely I don’t need to elaborate, Daddy.”
Finally the other nation found his own smirk, the one retired when he left the pirating business. “Ah, yes. I’m sure the boys will be happy to know you still think of them as children, Papa.”
“… … Point taken, Angleterre.” Stupid. Stupid stupid.
“In fact, America will be overjoyed to hear that you are trying to rob his brother’s cradle, so to speak.”
“England-”
“So overjoyed, in fact, that you might lose a limb or two. And that’s nothing compared to what might happen if Canada decides to be angry.”
“You have made your point!” France snapped, identifying that as one conversation he did not want to have.
England bowed with a flourish.
France’s grin returned. He’d been defeated and he knew it, and England knew it too, but that was the way it’d always been. “Let’s get a drink. My treat. Us two old men need to celebrate the joy of young lovers!”
England smiled. “I can drink to that.”
Xxx
Canada was furious.
An hour! He waited a bloody hour! For nothing! To be stood up!
Poland had probably forgotten about him, or even forgotten who he was. But he could cause an international incident by giving him what-for, and really the flighty nation was… flighty… so Canada decided he wasn’t going to bother him for this. Besides, he knew who to really blame.
He called America.
“If not for you I could be on a date! I got stood up! Come pick me up! Right now, America!” he screamed into his phone, even earning a few stares.
The voice on the other end was embarrassed. “Listen dude, I’m sorry Poland flaked out, but France and England are getting drunk and-”
“I DON’T CARE, AMERICA! COME GET ME!”
“Aw geez. Maybe if I drive fast they won’t burn down the bar this time…”
“What?”
“On my way, bro!” He hung up.
Xxx
“Finally the boyscout is gone,” England slurred after America left to go pick up Canada. “We can finally accom – accomp – do shtuff.”
France nodded enthusiastically. “Didja know they're twins?”
“Who're twinsh?” England asked, drinking rum.
France had settled with some fine French-made vodka. Tonight was about getting drunk, not being refined. “Y' boy, 'n' my boy. Twins.”
“Mmmhmm. Can'da's th' smar' one, 'n' 'merica's the char'shmatic one,” England replied. “'n' boff wet th' bed, tho' it's 'cause 'merica getsh shcared 'n' Can'da's a sound shleeper.”
France blinked. That sounded right. “Oui, although I didn't tell Amer... geez that'sh a long name. A-mer-i-ca.”
“Aaaah maaaare eeeee caaaaa,” England sounded out. “Yep. 'sgot mer in it. Wonder if he's a mermaid. That'd be funny.”
“Mmmm... 'merica and Can'da... as mermaids... twins...”
Both men drooled a bit at the idea. Finally England broke the silence with, “Bet 'merica's tits're bigger.”
“Nyuh uh. Can'da's got more... more...” France spread his arms wide. “Tracts. Of land.”
“Pooooint. But 'merica'sh got the nisher arshe.”
Operation Hook France and Canada Up (9)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-11 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)England laughed. “He'sh getti' fat. Used to have a met – met – a met-ab-o-li-sm like none ovver. Got really big really fast, stupid wanker.”
“Mmm, wanking.”
Suddenly both men looked uncomfortable.
“Did you ever... catch...”
“Yeah,” France muttered. “In one of my shirts. T' me. Verrrrrrrrrry hot.”
England nodded. “Shurprised as all get-out though. He wash in m' bed 'n' everythin'.”
“Foursome,” France breathed. “We should have one.”
England looked thoughtful. “Y' need t' bugger Can'da first,” he established. “'cause tha' boy needs a good rogerin'. Plus y' need t' get laid.”
“Shut up!”
“It's truuuuuuuue. Woulda done the boy m'self 'cept he looks like 'merica.”
America and Canada walked in.
“Twiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss,” France crooned, not even noticing the objects of his current fantasies walk in.
England's eyes glazed over. “Then we talk about foursomes.”
America and Canada looked at each other and walked back out.
“How d' y know it's l'amour?” France mourned, head dropping to his arms.
England was thoughtful. “Y' jus' know,” he said finally. “'n' I think y'd be good for Can'da and he'd b' good fer you. Y' need a nice boy. 'n' he needs t' get buggered.”
“So y' said. 'n' y' 'n' 'merica is good togevver. Very hot. Kinda wrong.” He gave a thumbs-up.
“I'm gonna be sick,” England established. He then threw up. France agreed before following suit.
xxx
Unlike his twin, Canada was not easily scared. The fact that the love of his life was trying to get him and his brother to have sex did not deter him at all. Russia would be scary, Liechtenstein would be adorable, Greece would like cats and France would be perverted. So the next day he dressed in his finest clothes with a tie that went with his violet eyes, one that France had gotten him, and he went out on that date with France.
For simplicity's sake, the authoress shall translate the following into English rather than break French-speaking readers' collective brains using online translation services. However it does need to be noted that America, who was certainly not hiding behind a newspaper while sitting at the table in the corner, couldn't understand a word either country was saying, and that England, who was embarrassed to be there, only could pick up bits and pieces.
“So you're not hungover, I see,” Canada began cheerfully.
“For the most part,” France admitted. “I apologize if I said anything improper, my angel. England brings out the worst in me, as I'm sure you well know.”
(England straightened up in his seat, hearing his name.)
Canada waved that away with a hand. “I know that well enough by now. Even when I was little you two acted like this.”
“But enough about him,” France purred, leaning forward. “I want to talk about you.”
“Me?” No matter how overused that line was, Canada still felt himself affected. Perhaps it was the seductive leer. Or perhaps it was just someone wanting to know more about him. “Not much to tell...”
“Nonsense. I feel there is so much I don't know. What do you like? What don't you like? Let me know how to please you.”
Canada was not going to survive tonight.
(“Maybe we should kidnap another member of the Francophone,” America suggested brightly.
England shook his head. “America... frankly... I think they're going to be just fine without us.”
“But what about step three of OHFACUAITFHMLBIPH?”
“Especially without step three.”
“But step three was the best step! The problem was going to be collecting the materials, but I'm sure one of your brothers has a goat...”
England let out a long-suffering sigh.)
Canada had no idea what to say that wasn't incredibly cheesy, and so he contented himself to blush and not make eye-contact.
“Don't worry about sounding silly,” France cooed, “I am the country of love, after all. I know all the cheesy one-liners and the heart-felt devotion declarations. What I mean to say it, nothing you can say will sound ridiculous to my ears.”
Operation Hook France and Canada Up (10)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-11 07:44 pm (UTC)(link)He was very surprised when France moved to kneel at his feet, taking both of his hands in his once-larger ones.
(“Aw come on, are you sure we can't kidnap Switzerland?”
“Absolutely not. Now eat your dinner like a good boy.”)
xxx
Canada had made it all the way back home and was still deliriously happy. He simply had to share this with his brother! He knew full well that America had been trying to set this up… his sweetheart brother… and while he hadn't been able to tell him on the plane back to North America, he thought he could tell him over the phone.
“What’s up, bro?”
Canada smiled at that voice. “Oh, America… brother… France…” He sniffled. He was getting emotional again. “He told me…”
“Canada? You okay?” America sounded worried.
He sniffled again. So sweet! “Thank you for caring… I swear I’ve never hated you… Oh you can be annoying, but you’re good when it counts… Ah geez, I told myself I wouldn’t cry...!”
America’s silence was tense. “He’s dead.” He hung up.
Only then did Canada realize he’d never said France had confessed, and that his moron of a brother couldn't read the atmosphere or see the little hearts that floating around Canada's head. (Little did he know that if only they hadn't been speaking French at the time, America would have already known.)
“Oh, fuck.”
xXX
To be continued!!! /having way too much fun with this
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (10)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-11 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)Author!anon...I think that I love you. :'D <3
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (10)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-11 09:41 pm (UTC)(link)This is seriously the best thing I have ever read! I love the interaction between all the characters, it is so sweet and hilarious at the same time! I eagerly look forward to the next update ;) <3 <3 <3
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (10)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-11 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)A!Anon, not only that fic is so epic, but this French!Anon here love you so so much for having understood that <3
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (10)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-12 12:01 am (UTC)(link)I think my favourite part was how it lowered all stuck-up repressed inhibitions England has and talked as perverted and interested as France did.
also, the British slang <3Your France is awesome! Romantic and silly but not overly so. I'm incredibly glad you didn't drag on the "does he love oh I wonder" thing, and the fact that France caught on pretty quickly and is just teasing affectionately with Canada. You can feel that, in fact, France and Canada would have got together much earlier if England and America weren't trying to help! And Canada is so sweet
and the only normal person, as usual. America is hilariousXDXDXDthat foursome needs to exist
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (10)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-12 03:17 am (UTC)(link)bfffrienemy England basically told him "Hey you, Canada's good for you and you should totally go for him," well, that was all he needed, because if France can't trust England, who can he trust?!And I'm also very amused that someone else noted that really, all the Operation needed was "step one: tell France that Canada's interested." But this is America! I'm sure step four probably involved England's "witchcraft" and a power ranger.
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (10)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-12 02:05 am (UTC)(link)Altogether... another good update... It is quiet funny at the end though... It's a head-canon that US is a VERY overprotective bro... just makes sense. :D (Bad boys, bad boys. What'cha gonna do... What'cha gonna do... What'cha gonna do when they come for you... XD)
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (10)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-12 02:44 am (UTC)(link)This is just beautiful author!anon, I laughed so hard my stomach hurts. /THUMBS UP
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (10)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-12 02:44 am (UTC)(link)“So y' said. 'n' y' 'n' 'merica is good togevver. Very hot. Kinda wrong.”
I always knew France was an USUK shipper :D
This is hilarious. I love the characterisations and the pace. And the humour. God, the humour is brilliant.
But more importantly? TWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (10)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-12 09:28 am (UTC)(link)Operation Hook France and Canada Up (11)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-13 12:39 am (UTC)(link)----
The English Channel is a fair bit smaller than the Atlantic Ocean, so England made it to France’s house with plenty of time to prepare. “So America thinks you broke Canada’s heart,” he said tersely, cutting off the almost certain question as to how England had broken into his house. “He’s on his way here, cell phone off.”
“I was warned,” France admitted, and England noted he was packing.
“You can’t just flee even if you are French!” England snapped. “You might as well tattoo ‘guilty’ on your forehead!”
France let out a creative French swear. “And what am I supposed to do, wait until he bashes my skull open and then accept his apology when he realizes I’ve done nothing wrong?!"
“Canada’s on his way here too, and I placed a few calls. In theory you’ll be unharmed by the time Canada gets here to calm his brother down.”
France finally deflated, sitting down on his half-packed luggage. “I always knew those boys would be the death of me. I was just hoping it would be because of the foursome…”
"Oh shut up."
xxx
The calls England had placed were to the other European nations who could beat America there – of course he had really only called Spain, Germany and Switzerland, but the Italys and… Prussia… had arrived as well.
“Ve~ This is so exciting!” Veneciano cheered. “It’s so secret and sweet and romantic! Romano, if anyone breaks my heart, will you kill them too?”
“Hell yeah.” Only Veneciano thought Romano would do it out of brotherly love.
“I already came up with this awesome plan to save France’s sorry butt!” Prussia crooned, dramatically pointing to the chalkboard he’d dragged along for that purpose. “First we-”
“Germany Germany Germany!”
The blond sighed. “Yes, Italy?”
“If someone hurt Prussia, would you avenge him?”
Germany looked awkwardly between Prussia and Italy, knowing there was no good answer to that question.
“As if he’d need to! I’m invincible!” Prussia reminded them all.
“Ohhhh, right. But-”
“The plan!” France interjected loudly.
“Right! First, we split up in the forest after tying a naked France to a stake-”
Already there as a chorus of vetoes.
“Whaaaat! You haven’t heard the whole thing!”
“Why are we splitting up!”
“Why am I tied to a stake!”
“Why is he naked!”
“Fine, someone else come up with an awesome plan, and I’ll just sit here and watch you fail,” Prussia said, sounding rather put out as he sat down and pouted.
“Me next!” Veneciano cheered, standing up and going to the blackboard, erasing the remains of Prussia’s rejected plan. In its place he drew a lovely picture of France wielding a white flag. “We all give big brother France a delicious farewell dinner <3”
Germany face-palmed loudly. Spain gave a happy sigh and pinched Veneciano’s cheek. “So cute!”
“Knock it off you bastard!” Romano shouted at him. “You come up with a plan now!”
Spain regarded the blackboard. Then he erased the drawing and began to sketch what looked like America, and Spain in a bull-fighting outfit.
It was England who finally spoke. “America's not a bull, Spain.”
“Oh, right.” The smiling Spaniard gave America pointy ears, little horns and a cow tail. It was cute, yes, but hardly practical, so Switzerland finally huffed and got up, pushing Spain out of the way as he drew on the chalkboard quickly.
“Aww,” said everyone at the adorable chibis. Then they all noticed what it was and grimaced. It was America getting shot in the face.
“Why don't I just shoot him?” he asked.
“He does have a point...” Romano rubbed his chin.
England stood up. “You are absolutely not shooting America in the face! No one is shooting America in the face, so stop looking so eager, Romano!!"
"Fuck you!"
Germany sighed, realizing that once again he was the only sane one. “Here’s what we’ll do.”
Xxx
Operation Hook France and Canada Up (12)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-13 12:46 am (UTC)(link)---
The plane touched down in Paris, France. One incredibly angry national personification stepped off. He had spent the last twelve hours deciding exactly what he was going to do to the man who had defiled his poor innocent baby brother's heart, as well as what theme music he was going to play as he enacted said torture.
France was going to choke on his genitals before being bludgeoned to death with his own limbs. “One Winged Angel” was going to be playing in the background, because while it wasn’t his, America knew that somewhere Japan would Know and Approve*.
At France’s house, all the lights were on and the doors were unlocked. America, disappointed that he wasn’t going to have to break in, decided to beat down the door anyway. The offending wood out of the way, he walked into the main entranceway and smelled the delicious scent of what could only be –
“Hamburgers!” he cried in glee. Yes, he had vengeance on the mind and it was very important, but hamburgers! Surely Canada’s bruised soul wouldn’t mind if America’s empty stomach got something to eat first.
Following his nose, America went to the kitchen and was a bit surprised, but not alarmed, to see both Italy brothers cooking. He gleefully sat down at the counter. “You’re making hamburgers!” he informed them happily.
“Shut up,” Romano snapped at him.
“We are! Maybe if I make them myself I can figure out why you like them so much,” Veneciano trilled in that way which made America want to keep him as a pet. “Would you like some?”
America nodded, excited. “You bet! There’s nothing better to wash down the cold taste of revenge like a nice hot hamburger.”
“Ve~ that’s kinda weird but okay!” Veneciano flipped a burger.
“Psycho bastard,” Romano muttered.
* Japan did Know, and he did Approve.
Xxx
“So, Germany, Spain,” England began from their hiding place right outside the kitchen, “I do have to ask, before I forget… do the Italy brothers have some sort of mystical twin bond that lets them sense the other's emotions... and feelings... if you know what I mean..."
Germany’s bright-red face answered the question, but just in case it didn’t Spain got a little smile on his face as he answered, “Weirdest bonus ever, especially if we get the timing right and-”
“Waaaay too much information!” Prussia snapped once he saw the Look that France gave England.
England for his part pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re absolutely never coming into any bed I’m in, frog, and if you touch America sexually I cannot be held responsible for any pain you’re subsequently subjected to, by either me or him.”
France merely smiled enigmatically, not even bothering to ask why England had asked if he wasn't planning on taking advantage; instead, he wondered just how much alcohol he’d need to change England’s tune. Not that England was even necessary…
“All right, enough bullshit!” Prussia interrupted. "It’s time to put this pseudo-awesome plan into action!” He clapped his younger brother on the back; it was clear from his expression that he considered “pseudo-awesome” to be a great compliment for Germany.
Moving together, Germany and Prussia flanked America on either side while Spain was in the middle. America, mouth full of delicious burger, didn’t seem to either notice or care.
England stepped forward into the kitchen, the calmest smile he could muster on his face. “Hello, America. Jolly good to see you there, luv.”
America waved, chipper, and swallowed. “Hey England! These burgers are awesome! Way better than anything you or I could ever make!”
They had worked as a distractor, then, if America couldn’t remember he was in France’s house enough to wonder why England was there. England gestured behind him, and France entered the scene.
Operation Hook France and Canada Up (13)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-13 12:50 am (UTC)(link)England stepped forward and took America’s cheeks in his hands. “America, look at me,” he said in his sternest voice. America’s eyes flicked to him then back to France. Having no other recourse, he snapped, “Alfred Fairfax Jones!”
There was snickering from under the flag. Prussia chortled. “Hey!” America cried in dismay, “I can’t believe you middle-named me, in front of witnesses!”
“Then listen to me! Canada was going to tell you that France was in love with him, you stupid git!”
“Awwww,” said everyone who wasn’t France, England or America.
America was visibly processing this information. “I guess the knowledge that someone who you’ve been pining over for over 200 years loves you is kinda emotional,” he admitted, having had first-hand experience. “Plus he’s a bit of a sissy.” At the Looks everyone was giving him, he awkwardly continued, “I once made him cry by telling him all of his faults! Like geez, dude, you should know these already, can’t believe you’d cry. Ha ha, yeah.”
“That was you!” Canada declared dramatically and breathlessly, obviously having sprinted here from the airport. France definitely did not hide behind him, no matter what other disreputable nations will tell you*. At France’s not-hiding, Canada was hastily reminded of what he was here for and so said, “Also, France didn’t break up with me, he told me he loves me!”
“Awwww,” said everyone who wasn’t France, England, America or Canada.
“Would you all knock that off!” France snapped at their audience, because there was his sexy bachelor pride to think of, after all, even if he was now not exactly a bachelor. Prussia and Romano gave him the finger.
America looked at Canada and France, and at length nodded. “Hey France, sorry I broke into your house to attempt murder over a misunderstanding, dude. We still cool?”
France shrugged. “You’d be surprised how often that happens.”
Canada and England smiled at each other and the latter said, “Crisis averted, then. Go ahead and let him go, boys.” Germany and Prussia let go. Spain, who was using America’s bum as a pillow, did not.
A shot rang out and America slumped forward, only held up by a napping Spaniard.
Everyone looked at Switzerland.
“What?” he asked, putting his rifle away. "You only said I couldn't shoot him in the face."
* He totally did hide behind Canada.
xxx
TBC!
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (13)
(Anonymous) 2011-01-13 01:18 am (UTC)(link)reminds me of Austen's Emma
And One Winged Angel fswapsfoejfoiwj !!!!
Thank you, anon, I laughed. So much. Again.
Re: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (13)
(Anonymous) - 2011-01-13 03:54 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (13)
(Anonymous) - 2011-01-14 02:46 (UTC) - ExpandOperation Hook France and Canada Up (14/14)
(Anonymous) - 2011-01-16 00:31 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (14/14)
(Anonymous) - 2011-01-16 01:57 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (14/14)
(Anonymous) - 2011-01-16 06:24 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (14/14)
(Anonymous) - 2011-01-16 06:51 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (14/14)
(Anonymous) - 2011-01-17 17:40 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Operation Hook France and Canada Up (14/14)
(Anonymous) - 2011-02-18 21:22 (UTC) - Expand