Self-conquest is really self-surrender. Yet before we can surrender ourselves we must become ourselves. For no one can give up what he does not possess. -- Thomas Merton
1.
England found himself finally in, after about half an hour of waiting in line. The bar smelled of cologne, perfume and alcohol, but it wasn’t an unpleasant smell, it was rather intoxicating. He stood in the door for a moment taking his time to assimilate that he was here…finally.
The decision of coming hadn’t been taken lightly, he was, after all, a nation and he had a reputation to take care of. Besides, there were his personal issues and monsters, shame being the biggest one of them.
It burnt him, creating a hole in his heart every time he wanted to finally give up everything. His cheeks flared red as his body responded to the now common fantasies of an unknown someone taking over, leaving him raw and open.
The word insanity was the first thing to come to his mind, so he brushed off the odd tickling in his stomach as a mere fantasy, and nothing else. But, the days became longer and the weight on his shoulders heavier; sex was no longer enough, even when he trusted one of his lovers enough to take him senseless.
He wanted more, needed more, and not just in sex, but in his life.
It was clear in his mind, that it was all about control. All his life he had been forced to take it, over his colonies, his country, his people, his wars, and he was sick of it. Ready to give it all up, to throw the weight onto someone else’s shoulders, but he couldn’t do that. He was after all “England”, Conqueror of more than half of the globe, and feared Pirate ruler of the seven seas.
That’s why he turned to the lifestyle; “D/s” he liked to call it, as if to escape of the true meaning of the two letters. But in less subtle lines, and if England ever wanted to say the straight forward truth: “Dominance & Submission” and that’s exactly what he wanted, to submit to someone completely, without it interfering directly with other aspects of his life.
He had looked everywhere, the internet being his fellow companion during sleepless nights. Forums, chartrooms, dating places, online dungeons, blogs, England digested everything. There were books too.
He still remembered the day he checked out “The story of O” from the library, the look in the librarian’s face had mortified him, setting his cheeks on fire; but it had all been worth it…oh so worth it. Every time “O” was bent over and punished, or taken roughly from behind, it sent waves of heat directly to his groin. He had always been a very fast reader, but it took him over two weeks to finish the book, every word, every sentence, every paragraph, combined made his body react in ways he wasn’t sure he wanted it to. His hand reached every night to stroke his own body. And he came harder every day until he couldn’t read more, too exhausted to even glance at the book he always left open in his night table.
It had finally been a day after sleeping beauty was spanked by the Queen herself and “O” found herself among a party of the most distinguished guests wearing only a feathery mask, that England decided he’d had enough.
Online training was an option, but England felt some things were meant to be experienced in person, besides call him old-fashioned, but computers weren’t his thing.
Nonetheless, another quick search on the internet and he had a list of places he could go to, mostly clubs and gatherings. He discarded places on his own land right away since he’d probably get arrested; his officials sometimes were just impossible, making the most stupid things illegal. Netherlands, France, Spain they all had nice places, but they were too close to home, and he didn’t need that frog teasing him endlessly about his preferences.
He considered America, but decided against it at the end, the lad’s people scared him sometimes.
Canada… it sounded familiar. Oh right! His former colony. It seemed little innocent Matthew had more places than everyone except for the Netherlands.
The club was called “Subspace”, and it was just outside of Toronto, and the reviews were nice, it also seemed a great place for a newbie, since they didn’t have for the most part an enforced dress code.
And now he was finally here, walking the line that separated what he wanted from reality. He crossed the door, slowly, and took in the sight in front of him.
The neon lights flickered on and off over the dance floor as a group of couples, both gay and straight, danced at the pace of a slow song all of them mostly dressed in formal black and leather garments, except for the occasional latex and faux. It could almost be a normal sight of any upper class club, if you overlooked the men in tight stockings, black skirts and high heels; the women showing their breasts proudly for their partners, and the hundreds of chains, collars and piercings that created music whenever they softly brushed against any surface.
It was a whole new world, the grotesque turned beautiful, pain transformed into art, and surrender became erotic.
England gulped at the sight, this place was everything he had expected and wanted it to be. He felt overwhelmed, but at the same time comfortable, and homey. He felt like a salt water fish that had spent his entire life in a pond, to finally find himself in the open sea one day, a universe of possibilities opening themselves in front of him.
The crowd dispersed, but England kept on staring at the distance, too lost in thought to put attention to where his gaze was locked on. He didn’t notice as his eyes locked on the pair of long legs across the bar area, stuffed in a mini black dress, with both ankles cuffed and tied to the table. She was eating something from someone’s hand, licking the fingers in a very sensual way.
His eyes got lost in the vision, and he imagined himself in her place, head bowed down, eyes filled with the complete satisfaction, and eagerness to please, to make the owner of that hand happy.
The hand was removed, but England couldn’t stop staring, not even after she noticed his gaze on her and mumbled a few words to her Master.
England knew she was talking about him, he felt it. But his instincts seemed turned off. Even as he felt the look of more than one person in the club on his back, he didn’t back off.
Two strong hands pushed him backwards and he struggled to regain his balance. There was a crowd beginning to form around him and a very tall woman with black high heels in front of him, with a menacing expression on her face and ready to push him again.
“Stop looking at her, you idiot!” Her voice was sharp, and angry and as strong as her hands “Don’t you see she already has a Mistress! Have more respect!”
England’s mouth dried, and he was unable to mutter a coherent response, he felt disoriented... maybe it wasn’t a good idea to come here, after all. But, he didn’t understand what had he done? He had barely entered the club. He was pushed again, this time by another set of hands, male hands. His body stumbled downwards this time, losing his balance completely and he felt as the floor connected with his left check.
“Follow the rules of etiquette, or get out little man! We don’t want trouble makers in here!” The voice sounded oddly familiar, and if England would have listened to it carefully, he would have identified it right away.
He stood up slowly, carefully cleansing the invisible dust on the sleeves of his coat, and pants, and tried to recover a little of his dignity by standing straight, but people kept on staring at him. He regained his voice once again, his eyebrows curved into an angry expression and he turned to look at him who dared to talk to the British Empire like that.
“May I ask, who you are calling little man, you git?!” His proud stance (or maybe it was his accent), had more effect this time, and the man jerked backwards, an odd expression on his face. But England didn’t stay to contemplate it, he pushed the man as a hard as he could, making his way to the exit. He felt steps following him, as he passed the security guards and the people still eager to get inside.
He should have never come here, he had been stupid at thinking it would be easy, just coming, getting someone to Dom for him, and expecting the craziest, and most pleasurable night of his life. The dream was too perfect, and was now crumbling in front of his eyes; shame taking over the initial excitement, and doubts poisoning his mind.
“Arthur!?”
He would go back home, hide in his books, in the internet. He will finally find out where Beauty was sent for her punishment, and after, the fantasy will go away, yeah, it will be okay...
“Arthur.”
The steps were catching up with him, and England made a huge effort to contain the anger that boiled inside him, he couldn’t do something he would end up regretting later. The frustration of the night's events (or lack of them). were catching up with him faster than normal, burning a hole inside his heart that would have stayed forever, if it weren’t for the strong pair of arms that held his shoulders stopping him on his run.
“England, wait!”
He turned slowly looking up at the tall figure behind him, that surprisingly knew his name. His green eyes shone in realization.
The sly grin characteristic of the Nordic nation lit his face at the sound of his name.
“Yup, that’s me!”
England hadn’t counted on this, finding another nation in this kind of place, that’s why he’d come to Canada, so that no one would know of his... strange needs.
“I’m sorry about, uhm, before... I, I didn’t realize it was you, but what...”
“It was you, git?!!” England’s face was on fire, but something inside him warmed up, a realization that his body had made, but his head still didn’t fully comprehended. The possibility to see his dream come true, and with someone he already knew and trusted... well just knew because, really, the last time he and Denmark had talked for more than fifteen minutes, the Nordic had been a Viking trying to conquer him. He had ruled out nations, for the possibility of them being weirded out, but if one of them was into this, England couldn’t imagine a better match. “What the hell were you thinking, pushing me like that, I made a complete fool of myself, bloody idiot!”
“Hey, hey, England, calm down! I said, I’m sorry, okay! I didn’t know it was you, and that was a pretty stupid move you made! Now, please, could you tell me just what are you doing here?”
“I... I don’t... I didn’t,” It was futile to lie now, and it would cause him more trouble than if he answered with the truth, but words were traitorous, and refused to come out in the moments where you need them the most, so England just glanced at his feet and let his unspoken answer float in the air around them.
“Oh... I see.” In spite of his surprised tone, Denmark’s smile held its ground. “Well, you don’t have to be ashamed of anything, you know. I won’t tell, and I’m sure as hell you won’t either, but... Just what did you expect to find in there? If you are new to this whole thing, the place is too hardcore for you.”
“Well I have uhm... I wanted to... I needed, you know... to meet people? And I, yeah, I have some uhm...” He knew he wasn’t making any sense at all, knew that his ears and cheeks couldn’t turn redder then they were, but he also knew he was about to miss the opportunity of his life, if he didn’t do something soon. “My intent was to find someone free, and that will be seeking for someone too, I wished to experiment.” He cleared his throat standing upright, and doing everything in his power to maintain his dignity.
The awkwardness in the air was palpable, and it all came from England, who radiated a dangerous aura, full of shame and regret. Denmark was almost afraid of touching him, and snapping him out of his sudden self-hating world.
“It’s okay, Arthur. Everyone is looking for something here, whether it's fun, or just a partner, we are all the same.” He grew serious as he spoke, “Let’s go for a cup of coffee, okay? We can discuss the matter, with more privacy. I saw a Tim Horton, two blocks away.”
“A what?” It took two seconds to click in that he was in Canada.
“Remember you are in Canada.” “Yeah, right, and that makes me wonder, what the hell are you doing in here?”
Denmark laughed, and pulled England closer as they walked.
“I could ask you the same my friend, but the answers for the coffee.”
The strange warmth inside England grew a little, he was going to talk things over with Denmark, maybe this could work out after all, and maybe he wasn’t as lost as he thought.
First of all a thousand thanks to my Beta <3 because if it weren't for her this author anon who does not speak English as her first language would fail hard! LOVE YOU DEAR ^^
And now for the notes.
The books England read are:
“Story of O” an erotic French novel by Pauline Réage from 1954. Story of O is a tale of female submission about a beautiful Parisian fashion photographer, O, who is blindfolded, chained, whipped, branded, pierced, made to wear a mask, and taught to be constantly available for oral, vaginal, and anal intercourse. Despite her harsh treatment, O grants permission beforehand for everything that occurs, and her permission is consistently sought. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Story_of_O
“The claiming of Sleeping Beauty” By Anne Rice (under the pen name A. N. Roquelaure) written in 1984. Beauty is awakened from her hundred-year sleep by the Prince, not with a simple kiss, but with a deflowering, initiating her into a Satyricon-like world of sexual adventures. After stripping her naked, he takes her to his kingdom, ruled by his mother, the Queen, where Beauty is trained as a slave and a plaything. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Claiming_of_Sleeping_Beauty
Hardcore BDSM (or that leaves any mark) is illegal in the United Kingdom, even between two consenting adults. This doesn’t mean people don’t do it, but everything is kept underneath the table.
“Subspace” is a real Canadian Fetish-inspired club found just outside of Toronto. http://www.subspacefetishnight.com/ (webpage is not worksafe) Why did I choose Canada? Because it has the second largest BDSM population after the Netherlands (and anon is Canadian, so she knows the scene over here)
God, this looks so fabulous. :D You really did an excellent job with England's growing need to explore his sexuality and his need for submission -- not to mention his need to freaking relax, trust somebody, and have a good time! -- and I enjoyed your description of his apprehension and fascination with the new world he finally entered by stepping in that club. And good lord, England, attend some damn munches first. OTL Hell, most of us feel that weird at our first munch, for that matter, but still, he needed to do some real-life research before going to a place where everybody knows basic etiquette. Ah, and his faux pas in staring at someone's slave like that! (Or sub?) *facepalm* I mean, his intentions were totally innocent, but damn. Although the way he was so transfixed was very intriguing to read. And revealing!
And you totally faked me out; I thought we were getting Dom!Canada, but you went with Denmark. Very cool, anon. :D And he's smart enough to handle England delicately and get him somewhere where he can relax and feel comfortable before giving him a talk, feeling him out, negotiating, etc. Even if he was a fool to offer him coffee! XD You rarely see a responsible Denmark like that; because he hasn't gotten tons of characterization in canon, he tends to get very flat characterization in fic. Thank you for making him so realistic, anon. (And I couldn't tell you weren't a native speaker, so you and your beta both did an excellent job!)
And dear god, I'm glad to see someone who's experienced and/or has done their research writing D/s and BDSM fills for once; that's been happening a lot in the last few months, but it seems like a totally recent development, unfortunately. Much of what I had seen before on this meme wasn't really SSC/RACK, which isn't really BDSM to me. Heh, although we perhaps have to redefine "sane" sometimes in this fandom, if nations are more mentally and physically resilient, can't die, etc.
Ah, you're Canadian? I was having a conversation with someone about the particular fetishes/practices in various nations' BDSM scene in the comments for this fill (http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/17337.html?thread=53623481#t53623481), and we were trying to figure out which nation's scene had which specialties. (Like the English with caning and spanking, the Japanese with shibari, the Germans with scat/leather/uniforms/etc.) If you were comfortable talking about that at all, could I ask you dumb questions about that? If not, it's totally cool; I figured you would feel comfortable saying "no" or ducking the question in an anonymous meme, which is totally understandable! <3
This comment is so epic ** thanks you soo much for taking the time to typing all this up! *dances*
Yeah well leave to British Empire to skip from step 1 to 3 without even knowing step 2 exists XD. But really his experience of being introduced to the scene by a placer like this was also my experience, and you are right is not pretty, I wish my first experience had been lighter (I did knew basic etiquette though XD)
I actually considered Dom!Canada among many other nations, but decided I liked Denmark's smirk a lot, and well my Beta pointed out to me that when you are dealing with England you need someone that understands that he was once and Empire to be feared and that if he was submitting like this is because he wanted to and that's it, that was crucial on my decision of picking Denmark.
Thanks ^^ I hope my lack of English poetic vocabulary does not show in future chapters either.
I wouldn't go as far as to call me experience, since I've been in the scene for only a year. But it helps if you have the live experience even if it's just once, you start seeing BDSM fics in a whole different light. And YESS! I have that problem with this meme... a lot of it is dark and gloomy (that is interesting sometimes of course) and a lot of the times sadly non consensual -_- I wanted to change that around a little.
LOL When I followed the link I was really close to join the discussion, but there are too many comments already so decided against it. But by all means anon ask away please! I will answer pretty much anything (that I know the answer to of course) about the topic ^^
Anyway I hope this fic continues to please you in the future and I look forward to hearing more of you =D Thanks a lot <3
i didn't find it OOC of england to react like that. it's always hard when you finally let go to something that vaguely embarrasses you, yet you know you need, and his attitude towards it was realistic and refreshing :)
denmark/england wins the internet, but this fill, well written, well characterized, going to be long and beautiful, wins even more!
(ooh, historie d'O'... *shivers* i have both the book and an illustrated version, lol. about the other book by anne rice, damn it, not published here)
this started out really well, and very well informed, and i can't wait to read more. it's beautiful. so very beautiful, author!anon...
Yes... that book -_- Oh and the Anne Rice I think you can read it in the internet, I though every single of Anne Rice's books had been translated and published in a hell lot of countries... I find weird that you can't find it. Anyway, it's fun, completely different from her other stuff and if you could get a hold of it I would rec it ^^
Thanks!!! <3 a lot I'm really glad you like it so far *hugs*
... *DIES FROM THE AWESOMENESS* YOU ARE SO AWESOME, AUTHOR!NON. ;u; This OP feels unworthy to gain such awesome fill... Although that doesn't mean this OP won't be happy with this fill. :3
The progress of Arthur is so believable! <3 And this OP is so curious on the next installments~ -u-
I'm soo glad you are liking it so far... ffff I was so nervous that you may not like my choice of pairing (since you did say you were partial to Rus/Uk) or how I approached the subject.. I'm glad I didn't disappoint you.
I hope this fill continues to be of your liking in the future ^^ and I meant it, if you have anything in particular you'll like explored in here I will love to give it a try ;)
Great start author!anon! And I agree with a previous anon- England doesn't seem OOC at all. I can't wait to read more <3
But I do have a question: with England's quick mention of the Vikings, I was curious if you going with Denmark and England being children during the Viking raids and the later Danish rule over England? (Thus excluding them from the whole raping-and-pillaging bit)?
The Viking raids were in the 8th-11th century, which in my headcanon means England was a a kid/teen (more or less 11-13) and Denmark maybe a year older. Could rape happen at those "ages"? Yes, but I've never believed that every time a country invades another one rape happens. If this were the case England himself committed rape when he found Canada and America... Or you could argue that it only happens when invasion is violent, but if that's so Rome rapped 6 year old France and 5 year old England when he conquered both nations.
I used the viking reference to show there is a gap in England's trust towards Denmark and that England still has it present, even if it happened centuries ago. (and maybe I should have made a note on that...oh well)
I just wasn't sure since there's a bit of non-con/dub-con fic out there with these two (before the official picture came out with chibi!England hiding from chibi!Denmark), and considering the prompt I was just curious what type of relationship they had in the past.
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The edge 1/?
(Anonymous) 2010-09-22 03:02 am (UTC)(link)The Edge.
Self-conquest is really self-surrender. Yet before we can surrender ourselves we must become ourselves. For no one can give up what he does not possess. -- Thomas Merton
1.
England found himself finally in, after about half an hour of waiting in line. The bar smelled of cologne, perfume and alcohol, but it wasn’t an unpleasant smell, it was rather intoxicating. He stood in the door for a moment taking his time to assimilate that he was here…finally.
The decision of coming hadn’t been taken lightly, he was, after all, a nation and he had a reputation to take care of. Besides, there were his personal issues and monsters, shame being the biggest one of them.
It burnt him, creating a hole in his heart every time he wanted to finally give up everything. His cheeks flared red as his body responded to the now common fantasies of an unknown someone taking over, leaving him raw and open.
The word insanity was the first thing to come to his mind, so he brushed off the odd tickling in his stomach as a mere fantasy, and nothing else. But, the days became longer and the weight on his shoulders heavier; sex was no longer enough, even when he trusted one of his lovers enough to take him senseless.
He wanted more, needed more, and not just in sex, but in his life.
It was clear in his mind, that it was all about control. All his life he had been forced to take it, over his colonies, his country, his people, his wars, and he was sick of it. Ready to give it all up, to throw the weight onto someone else’s shoulders, but he couldn’t do that. He was after all “England”, Conqueror of more than half of the globe, and feared Pirate ruler of the seven seas.
That’s why he turned to the lifestyle; “D/s” he liked to call it, as if to escape of the true meaning of the two letters. But in less subtle lines, and if England ever wanted to say the straight forward truth: “Dominance & Submission” and that’s exactly what he wanted, to submit to someone completely, without it interfering directly with other aspects of his life.
He had looked everywhere, the internet being his fellow companion during sleepless nights. Forums, chartrooms, dating places, online dungeons, blogs, England digested everything. There were books too.
He still remembered the day he checked out “The story of O” from the library, the look in the librarian’s face had mortified him, setting his cheeks on fire; but it had all been worth it…oh so worth it. Every time “O” was bent over and punished, or taken roughly from behind, it sent waves of heat directly to his groin. He had always been a very fast reader, but it took him over two weeks to finish the book, every word, every sentence, every paragraph, combined made his body react in ways he wasn’t sure he wanted it to. His hand reached every night to stroke his own body. And he came harder every day until he couldn’t read more, too exhausted to even glance at the book he always left open in his night table.
Re: The edge 1b/?
(Anonymous) 2010-09-22 03:04 am (UTC)(link)Online training was an option, but England felt some things were meant to be experienced in person, besides call him old-fashioned, but computers weren’t his thing.
Nonetheless, another quick search on the internet and he had a list of places he could go to, mostly clubs and gatherings. He discarded places on his own land right away since he’d probably get arrested; his officials sometimes were just impossible, making the most stupid things illegal. Netherlands, France, Spain they all had nice places, but they were too close to home, and he didn’t need that frog teasing him endlessly about his preferences.
He considered America, but decided against it at the end, the lad’s people scared him sometimes.
Canada… it sounded familiar. Oh right! His former colony. It seemed little innocent Matthew had more places than everyone except for the Netherlands.
The club was called “Subspace”, and it was just outside of Toronto, and the reviews were nice, it also seemed a great place for a newbie, since they didn’t have for the most part an enforced dress code.
And now he was finally here, walking the line that separated what he wanted from reality. He crossed the door, slowly, and took in the sight in front of him.
The neon lights flickered on and off over the dance floor as a group of couples, both gay and straight, danced at the pace of a slow song all of them mostly dressed in formal black and leather garments, except for the occasional latex and faux. It could almost be a normal sight of any upper class club, if you overlooked the men in tight stockings, black skirts and high heels; the women showing their breasts proudly for their partners, and the hundreds of chains, collars and piercings that created music whenever they softly brushed against any surface.
It was a whole new world, the grotesque turned beautiful, pain transformed into art, and surrender became erotic.
England gulped at the sight, this place was everything he had expected and wanted it to be. He felt overwhelmed, but at the same time comfortable, and homey. He felt like a salt water fish that had spent his entire life in a pond, to finally find himself in the open sea one day, a universe of possibilities opening themselves in front of him.
The crowd dispersed, but England kept on staring at the distance, too lost in thought to put attention to where his gaze was locked on. He didn’t notice as his eyes locked on the pair of long legs across the bar area, stuffed in a mini black dress, with both ankles cuffed and tied to the table. She was eating something from someone’s hand, licking the fingers in a very sensual way.
His eyes got lost in the vision, and he imagined himself in her place, head bowed down, eyes filled with the complete satisfaction, and eagerness to please, to make the owner of that hand happy.
The hand was removed, but England couldn’t stop staring, not even after she noticed his gaze on her and mumbled a few words to her Master.
England knew she was talking about him, he felt it. But his instincts seemed turned off. Even as he felt the look of more than one person in the club on his back, he didn’t back off.
Two strong hands pushed him backwards and he struggled to regain his balance. There was a crowd beginning to form around him and a very tall woman with black high heels in front of him, with a menacing expression on her face and ready to push him again.
Re: The edge 1c/?
(Anonymous) 2010-09-22 03:07 am (UTC)(link)England’s mouth dried, and he was unable to mutter a coherent response, he felt disoriented... maybe it wasn’t a good idea to come here, after all. But, he didn’t understand what had he done? He had barely entered the club. He was pushed again, this time by another set of hands, male hands. His body stumbled downwards this time, losing his balance completely and he felt as the floor connected with his left check.
“Follow the rules of etiquette, or get out little man! We don’t want trouble makers in here!” The voice sounded oddly familiar, and if England would have listened to it carefully, he would have identified it right away.
He stood up slowly, carefully cleansing the invisible dust on the sleeves of his coat, and pants, and tried to recover a little of his dignity by standing straight, but people kept on staring at him. He regained his voice once again, his eyebrows curved into an angry expression and he turned to look at him who dared to talk to the British Empire like that.
“May I ask, who you are calling little man, you git?!” His proud stance (or maybe it was his accent), had more effect this time, and the man jerked backwards, an odd expression on his face. But England didn’t stay to contemplate it, he pushed the man as a hard as he could, making his way to the exit. He felt steps following him, as he passed the security guards and the people still eager to get inside.
He should have never come here, he had been stupid at thinking it would be easy, just coming, getting someone to Dom for him, and expecting the craziest, and most pleasurable night of his life. The dream was too perfect, and was now crumbling in front of his eyes; shame taking over the initial excitement, and doubts poisoning his mind.
“Arthur!?”
He would go back home, hide in his books, in the internet. He will finally find out where Beauty was sent for her punishment, and after, the fantasy will go away, yeah, it will be okay...
“Arthur.”
The steps were catching up with him, and England made a huge effort to contain the anger that boiled inside him, he couldn’t do something he would end up regretting later. The frustration of the night's events (or lack of them). were catching up with him faster than normal, burning a hole inside his heart that would have stayed forever, if it weren’t for the strong pair of arms that held his shoulders stopping him on his run.
“England, wait!”
He turned slowly looking up at the tall figure behind him, that surprisingly knew his name. His green eyes shone in realization.
“Denmark?”
****
Re: The edge 1d/?
(Anonymous) 2010-09-22 03:09 am (UTC)(link)“Yup, that’s me!”
England hadn’t counted on this, finding another nation in this kind of place, that’s why he’d come to Canada, so that no one would know of his... strange needs.
“I’m sorry about, uhm, before... I, I didn’t realize it was you, but what...”
“It was you, git?!!” England’s face was on fire, but something inside him warmed up, a realization that his body had made, but his head still didn’t fully comprehended. The possibility to see his dream come true, and with someone he already knew and trusted... well just knew because, really, the last time he and Denmark had talked for more than fifteen minutes, the Nordic had been a Viking trying to conquer him. He had ruled out nations, for the possibility of them being weirded out, but if one of them was into this, England couldn’t imagine a better match. “What the hell were you thinking, pushing me like that, I made a complete fool of myself, bloody idiot!”
“Hey, hey, England, calm down! I said, I’m sorry, okay! I didn’t know it was you, and that was a pretty stupid move you made! Now, please, could you tell me just what are you doing here?”
“I... I don’t... I didn’t,” It was futile to lie now, and it would cause him more trouble than if he answered with the truth, but words were traitorous, and refused to come out in the moments where you need them the most, so England just glanced at his feet and let his unspoken answer float in the air around them.
“Oh... I see.” In spite of his surprised tone, Denmark’s smile held its ground. “Well, you don’t have to be ashamed of anything, you know. I won’t tell, and I’m sure as hell you won’t either, but... Just what did you expect to find in there? If you are new to this whole thing, the place is too hardcore for you.”
“Well I have uhm... I wanted to... I needed, you know... to meet people? And I, yeah, I have some uhm...” He knew he wasn’t making any sense at all, knew that his ears and cheeks couldn’t turn redder then they were, but he also knew he was about to miss the opportunity of his life, if he didn’t do something soon. “My intent was to find someone free, and that will be seeking for someone too, I wished to experiment.” He cleared his throat standing upright, and doing everything in his power to maintain his dignity.
The awkwardness in the air was palpable, and it all came from England, who radiated a dangerous aura, full of shame and regret. Denmark was almost afraid of touching him, and snapping him out of his sudden self-hating world.
“It’s okay, Arthur. Everyone is looking for something here, whether it's fun, or just a partner, we are all the same.” He grew serious as he spoke, “Let’s go for a cup of coffee, okay? We can discuss the matter, with more privacy. I saw a Tim Horton, two blocks away.”
“A what?” It took two seconds to click in that he was in Canada.
“Remember you are in Canada.”
“Yeah, right, and that makes me wonder, what the hell are you doing in here?”
Denmark laughed, and pulled England closer as they walked.
“I could ask you the same my friend, but the answers for the coffee.”
The strange warmth inside England grew a little, he was going to talk things over with Denmark, maybe this could work out after all, and maybe he wasn’t as lost as he thought.
TBC
Notes
(Anonymous) 2010-09-22 03:14 am (UTC)(link)First of all a thousand thanks to my Beta <3 because if it weren't for her this author anon who does not speak English as her first language would fail hard! LOVE YOU DEAR ^^
And now for the notes.
The books England read are:
“Story of O” an erotic French novel by Pauline Réage from 1954. Story of O is a tale of female submission about a beautiful Parisian fashion photographer, O, who is blindfolded, chained, whipped, branded, pierced, made to wear a mask, and taught to be constantly available for oral, vaginal, and anal intercourse. Despite her harsh treatment, O grants permission beforehand for everything that occurs, and her permission is consistently sought. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Story_of_O
“The claiming of Sleeping Beauty” By Anne Rice (under the pen name A. N. Roquelaure) written in 1984. Beauty is awakened from her hundred-year sleep by the Prince, not with a simple kiss, but with a deflowering, initiating her into a Satyricon-like world of sexual adventures. After stripping her naked, he takes her to his kingdom, ruled by his mother, the Queen, where Beauty is trained as a slave and a plaything. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Claiming_of_Sleeping_Beauty
Hardcore BDSM (or that leaves any mark) is illegal in the United Kingdom, even between two consenting adults. This doesn’t mean people don’t do it, but everything is kept underneath the table.
“Subspace” is a real Canadian Fetish-inspired club found just outside of Toronto. http://www.subspacefetishnight.com/ (webpage is not worksafe) Why did I choose Canada? Because it has the second largest BDSM population after the Netherlands (and anon is Canadian, so she knows the scene over here)
I love this fill already! <3
(Anonymous) 2010-09-22 04:02 am (UTC)(link)And you totally faked me out; I thought we were getting Dom!Canada, but you went with Denmark. Very cool, anon. :D And he's smart enough to handle England delicately and get him somewhere where he can relax and feel comfortable before giving him a talk, feeling him out, negotiating, etc.
Even if he was a fool to offer him coffee! XDYou rarely see a responsible Denmark like that; because he hasn't gotten tons of characterization in canon, he tends to get very flat characterization in fic. Thank you for making him so realistic, anon. (And I couldn't tell you weren't a native speaker, so you and your beta both did an excellent job!)And dear god, I'm glad to see someone who's experienced and/or has done their research writing D/s and BDSM fills for once; that's been happening a lot in the last few months, but it seems like a totally recent development, unfortunately. Much of what I had seen before on this meme wasn't really SSC/RACK, which isn't really BDSM to me. Heh, although we perhaps have to redefine "sane" sometimes in this fandom, if nations are more mentally and physically resilient, can't die, etc.
Ah, you're Canadian? I was having a conversation with someone about the particular fetishes/practices in various nations' BDSM scene in the comments for this fill (http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/17337.html?thread=53623481#t53623481), and we were trying to figure out which nation's scene had which specialties. (Like the English with caning and spanking, the Japanese with shibari, the Germans with scat/leather/uniforms/etc.) If you were comfortable talking about that at all, could I ask you dumb questions about that? If not, it's totally cool; I figured you would feel comfortable saying "no" or ducking the question in an anonymous meme, which is totally understandable! <3
Author!anon
(Anonymous) 2010-09-23 12:59 am (UTC)(link)Yeah well leave to British Empire to skip from step 1 to 3 without even knowing step 2 exists XD. But really his experience of being introduced to the scene by a placer like this was also my experience, and you are right is not pretty, I wish my first experience had been lighter (I did knew basic etiquette though XD)
I actually considered Dom!Canada among many other nations, but decided I liked Denmark's smirk a lot, and well my Beta pointed out to me that when you are dealing with England you need someone that understands that he was once and Empire to be feared and that if he was submitting like this is because he wanted to and that's it, that was crucial on my decision of picking Denmark.
Thanks ^^ I hope my lack of English poetic vocabulary does not show in future chapters either.
I wouldn't go as far as to call me experience, since I've been in the scene for only a year. But it helps if you have the live experience even if it's just once, you start seeing BDSM fics in a whole different light. And YESS! I have that problem with this meme... a lot of it is dark and gloomy (that is interesting sometimes of course) and a lot of the times sadly non consensual -_- I wanted to change that around a little.
LOL When I followed the link I was really close to join the discussion, but there are too many comments already so decided against it. But by all means anon ask away please! I will answer pretty much anything (that I know the answer to of course) about the topic ^^
Anyway I hope this fic continues to please you in the future and I look forward to hearing more of you =D Thanks a lot <3
Re: Notes
(Anonymous) 2010-09-22 10:21 am (UTC)(link)i didn't find it OOC of england to react like that. it's always hard when you finally let go to something that vaguely embarrasses you, yet you know you need, and his attitude towards it was realistic and refreshing :)
denmark/england wins the internet, but this fill, well written, well characterized, going to be long and beautiful, wins even more!
(ooh, historie d'O'... *shivers* i have both the book and an illustrated version, lol. about the other book by anne rice, damn it, not published here)
this started out really well, and very well informed, and i can't wait to read more. it's beautiful. so very beautiful, author!anon...
Author!anon
(Anonymous) 2010-09-23 01:12 am (UTC)(link)Oh and the Anne Rice I think you can read it in the internet, I though every single of Anne Rice's books had been translated and published in a hell lot of countries... I find weird that you can't find it. Anyway, it's fun, completely different from her other stuff and if you could get a hold of it I would rec it ^^
Thanks!!! <3 a lot I'm really glad you like it so far *hugs*
OP
(Anonymous) 2010-09-22 12:58 pm (UTC)(link)The progress of Arthur is so believable! <3 And this OP is so curious on the next installments~ -u-
Author!anon
(Anonymous) 2010-09-23 01:03 am (UTC)(link)I'm soo glad you are liking it so far... ffff I was so nervous that you may not like my choice of pairing (since you did say you were partial to Rus/Uk) or how I approached the subject.. I'm glad I didn't disappoint you.
I hope this fill continues to be of your liking in the future ^^ and I meant it, if you have anything in particular you'll like explored in here I will love to give it a try ;)
Re: Notes
(Anonymous) 2010-09-22 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)But I do have a question: with England's quick mention of the Vikings, I was curious if you going with Denmark and England being children during the Viking raids and the later Danish rule over England? (Thus excluding them from the whole raping-and-pillaging bit)?
Not the author, but ...
(Anonymous) 2010-09-23 12:04 am (UTC)(link)Author!anon ^^
(Anonymous) 2010-09-23 12:39 am (UTC)(link)The Viking raids were in the 8th-11th century, which in my headcanon means England was a a kid/teen (more or less 11-13) and Denmark maybe a year older. Could rape happen at those "ages"? Yes, but I've never believed that every time a country invades another one rape happens. If this were the case England himself committed rape when he found Canada and America... Or you could argue that it only happens when invasion is violent, but if that's so Rome rapped 6 year old France and 5 year old England when he conquered both nations.
I used the viking reference to show there is a gap in England's trust towards Denmark and that England still has it present, even if it happened centuries ago. (and maybe I should have made a note on that...oh well)
Re: Author!anon ^^
(Anonymous) 2010-09-23 02:30 am (UTC)(link)I just wasn't sure since there's a bit of non-con/dub-con fic out there with these two (before the official picture came out with chibi!England hiding from chibi!Denmark), and considering the prompt I was just curious what type of relationship they had in the past.