Iggy turns into a bouncing baby boy, and France, Spain, and Prussia decide to take care of him. Do what you want with this, all I ask is that for once, England is not a grouchy bastard child lmao, but he's a happy, chubby little thing.
ehehe, fail!title :'D in case you don't know what it is, "coochie, coochie coo!" is often said to little kids in an attempt to piss them off get them to laugh but it really only pisses them off and they yank your hair harder than ever afterwards ;A; hope you enjoy, OP~
-x-x-x-
Ahhh, what a beautiful day! The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and the Bad Touch Trio currently lay in a hungover heap on Romano's bed.
Or maybe it was Belgium's. Or Seychelles', or Monaco's, or...you get the picture. The three really didn't know where the fuck they were, all they knew was that the bed was really comfy, and their heads were really killing. Besiiiides, "sharing is caring" and all that jazz, right?
Prussia was the first to wake up, and that was only because he heard the bedroom door slam open. The shrill shriek emitted by none other than England - oh, that was where they were! Prussia felt proud of himself for figuring that out...but...wait...how the fuck did they get in England again? - woke France, and France's elaborate stretching (a motion which here entailed hitting Spain in the nose) woke the third up.
So all three turned to blink sleepily at the furious figure standing in the doorway.
"You - why - what -" England sputtered, pointing one hand at the trio.
"You bastard!" shouted Spain all of a sudden, lifting a hand to point at England and falling off the bed. "You brought reinforcements! This is supposed to be one on one, not five on one! Apparitions, begone!" Cue exorcistic hand motions.
(Of course, by this point, France and Prussia were laughing too hard for England to hear the rest of Spain's words.)
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" England screeched, hurling the book he held at France's head. It hit the blonde in the jaw ("MON VISAGE!" because, you know, he's French and French people don't yell MY FACE in English, now do they?) and England stomped his feet in RAEGGG when none of the too-drunk-to-care trio complied to his wishes.
So there was only one thing left to do!
With a dramatic pirouette and a jump, England's green military uniform - because, you know, he's an insomniac who spends his time embroidering instead of sleeping - transformed into a crisp white toga, and a wand materialized in his hand.
The Bad Touch Trio stared in awe (well, not really. It was more of a YOU'RE HIGH AND WE'RE HUNGOVER expression of appreciation) as England twirled again and pointed the wand at the three rather grandly.
"If you want to act childishly, then children you shall be!" he said (grandly), sweeping his arm (grandly) in a wide arc and smirking (grandly) as sparkles flew out the end of the wand (grandly). The three on the bed passed out at the same exact time, from overexposure to grandness of proportions as epic as those the blonde was portraying.
Of course, this was England, and if you've ever been to England you'll know that nothing goes right there. (No, seriously, the forecast says NO RAIN, YIPPEE! and so you go out in a dress, and the guy's right, it doesn't rain. No, it hails instead, and Mother Nature cackles as you shake ice out of your panties.)
-x-x-x-
The three woke up several hours later, decidedly more sober and curious as to how they ended up on England's bed.
"Maybe he kidnapped us," suggested Spain.
"Hah! Kidnap the awesome me?" crowed Prussia. "We obviously went drinking together, and the loser had to host us for the night!"
"Then shouldn't we be at your place, mon ami?" interjected France. "It is clear that we had an orgy and England woke up first."
"Then why're our clothes on?"
"Foolish Spaniard! You know how prude Arthur is. And how much he likes touching my five meters! I bet he dressed us just so he could -"
"Fascinating, Gilbert. Mais, Antoine is right; darling Arthur has never dressed us before."
"Maybe we're just imagining to be dressed!"
"Maybe we actually got drunk and wound up here..."
"Oui, Ludwig has been most kind, but even he must be annoyed when we waltz into his home at all odd hours, drunk beyond measure -"
None of the bickering men noticed when a tiny blonde head poked into the room, or when green eyes shimmered as they landed on France.
And, well, they kind of noticed when England cannonballed towards the Frenchman.
Not really. It was kind of,
"No, I think we spoke to that Italian chick before we went to the club on that street thingy in Paris!"
*whoosh*
"The Champs-Élysées? I thought that was after we got that sushi deal -" *thump* "- the unlimited order but anything you waste you have to pay for? You know, the place we made ourselves throw up at so we wouldn't get charged?"
*pained gasp*
"So, Francie, what do you - hey, where'd Francis go?"
"The gremlins kidnapped him. Who gives a fuck?"
"D-down here *wheeze* mes amis..."
And then sitting up with baby England plastered onto France's face.
"Fwancis!" he cooed, hugging his face tightly.
"I-is that England??" said Prussia incredulously, blinking widely and leaning forward for a better glance as France peeled England off his beautiful head. The first thing France noticed was that, instead of mocking humor, there was an adoring, doting glimmer in Prussia's burgundy eyes. Spain's Hooker's green ones (when the three had held a color wheel to Spain's eyes, they had been absolutely delighted to discover that the precise shade was called Hooker's green) reflected the same emotion, and both men looked absolutely smitten with the giggling bundle in France's arms.
France hadn't had the chance to look at England himself yet, and so he spun the little guy around and stared at him straight in the face.
Before melting like chocolate on a sunny day.
Because England was just so fucking cute.
Instead of twisted into a grimace, shell-pink lips were curved up into a wide smile. His emerald eyes shone radiantly, almost like a character in Japan's shows, and were filled with so much love and warmth that it made France kind of shatter inside. Two tiny hands - barely large enough to wrap around two of France's long, artisan fingers - groped out for him.
The white, unblemished and un-scarred skin on his round, chubby cheeks quivered as he giggled. "Bwothew, bwothew!" he was cooing. "Why're you so biiiig?"
France stared in open shock.
Spain piped up first, an enthusiastic grin on his face and a gleam in his eyes that France hadn't seen since Romano was a cute little kid. "Can we keep him?"
It took half a second for the other two men to reply. "You would say that, you pedophile."
The Spaniard frowned. "Awww, please?"
"But - a baby!" said Prussia, biting his lip.
"You never raised one, you don't know how fun it is," argued Spain.
"You only like kids because Romano let you touch him when he was little!"
"No he didn't!"
"Aha! So you tried, then!"
"Huh? You lost me..."
France absently pulled England close and started stroking his hair, smiling. "Don't worry, Artur~ we'll keep you safe," he hummed.
England, oblivious to the bickering, absently gnawed on France's hair.
-x-x-x-
so. :DDDD THIS WAS INSANELY FUN TO WRITE. Next part in a few days, or tomorrow if I'm lucky xD
Here's to really, really hoping Francis peeks back into his young!France personality with mini!Arthur because it'd really out the other two like nothing else. And the fourthwall-breaching was hilarious, author!anon! I'd ask to marry you too, but I see someone has spoken before me. D:
Spain's Hooker's green ones (when the three had held a color wheel to Spain's eyes, they had been absolutely delighted to discover that the precise shade was called Hooker's green)
Pfff, this is so...so them xD
Two tiny hands - barely large enough to wrap around two of France's long, artisan fingers - groped out for him.
ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH THE CUTE?????????????????? ^^
England, oblivious to the bickering, absently gnawed on France's hair.
D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, so adorable~~
Moar cute brother France and sweet, adorable bundle of cuteness Chibirisu ♥
by the way, I fucking love that title something fierce XD
authornon cackles in delight, she's never been quoted before :'D
I know, right? Originally what happened was me describing Spain's eyes as "emerald" but then I had to do something for England's eyes, so I went on Wikipedia's "shades of green" page and chose the color that looked closest to Spain's eyes! (according to me. But I'm colorblind :D)
And I'm sorry! England is soooooooooooooooooo cute, man, he's a frickin adorable baby boy :'D but the req was for a "happy, chubby little thing", so...sorry! -hands you a bandaid to cover the gaping cuteness wound-
Um hi... I just want to let you know, author anon, that I will be kidnapping you and keeping you for my own happiness. BUT ANYWAY. This is amazing. Thanks so much, and don't be surprised if I appear at your doorstep tomorrow with flowers, chocolate and other pleasurable things. *wink wink* LOVE OP ANON
Ok I'm done. But seriously author!anon, this is the best thing to read when you're on your period and you just want to kill something. Teh kyoot is just melting away my urge to hurt things AND I LIKE IT. France/England may very well be my favourite romantic pairing... BUT I CAN'T RESIST BROTHERLY ADORATION~ *goes to google Hooker's green* Soooooo cute, and I love your humour. Great start, HOPING FOR MORE SOON!
authonon knows EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL, I'M DYING OF CRAMPS AND A MIGRAINE ATM D:<
Thank you! I'm glad someone else was able to work out the agony (man, I snap and then spin around and giggle sluttily when I'm on my period o.e) and writing this lessened the weirdness. But it was so cute, I got all hyper in telling the kink to me friend @ school and she was all, "Yo, Megs, calm the fuck down." (So of course I said, "I got this!" C:)
FrUK = LOVEEEEEEE France + England = CUUUUUUUUUUUTE
Thank you! Ain't Hooker's green just the puuuuurtiest damn color you've ever seen? /shot
Sorry for taking so long! But thank you for all the lovely comments :) This is pt1 of ch2, next part will be up tomorrow!
-x-x-x-
The three hadn't trusted anyone else with knowledge of England's new...state, for the simple fear that it would get to Hungary and that the mad woman would stuff him into dresses, and since none of the Bad Touch were experts in magic they couldn't exactly predict how that might turn out. If France's theory was right, this was the England from before the wars - back when he was still on good terms with his siblings, or something like that. If what they did now affected how he was when normal!grumpy!England popped back into existence, then it was crucial that they not destroy his mind by making him cross-dress.
...although the idea of a fully-grown England waltzing around in less-stuffy clothes (or, if France was allowed his way, no clothes at all), like a frilly pink apron over jeans and a t-shirt, and smiling prettily at everyone was pretty damn funny.
Him cross-dressing would be even funnier.
But they were afraid - what might happen to the world and the space-time continuum if they fucked England up??
So they decided to leave babified England in France's care while Spain and Prussia went off searching for a cure. Norway was probably their best bet, but to be honest the guy scared the fuck out of all three and so they decided to save him for a last resort.
France was deeply regretting that option, as soon as Spain and Prussia got their clothes on and waltzed outside.
Why?
For one thing, barely a moment after the other two were gone, England had turned those saucer-wide eyes on him and asked timidly, "Mr Bunny?" and so France had had to carry England upstairs (believe it or not, kid was too tiny to scale them on his own) and set him on top of a storage trunk as he probed through the attic in search of the aforementioned stuffed bunny that England had had (and magicked to perfection dozens of times). Fifteen minutes' search and England was clutching the ratty old thing happily, smiling radiantly and even eating the omelette du fromage that France had cooked him for lunch without a single protest.
"Yummy!" he squealed instead, and France facepalmed from the epic cuteness.
Another problem with the kid?
Well, that shirt was so not meant for carrying toddlers. After lunch, England had, oh-so-quietly and oh-so-cutely, requested some ice cream; France hadn't the heart to refuse him, the way he would've done to a normal England.
Of course, as soon as getting the scoop of strawberry ice cream, the little one had tripped and dropped it and stuck out his lower lip to keep from crying at both the loss of ice cream and the scrapes on his knees.
Again, he was too goddamn cute for France to laugh at, which led to him kissing the boo-boos - kissing them! - and picking up the sniffling toddler and smearing sticky ice cream on his shirt and feeling so much like a mother that he thought maybe he should just go buy a floral-patterned maternity dress and high heels, like he'd done for Halloween that one year. Then he carried the now-smiling-shyly England back to the parlour, gotten another scoop which the pretty little cashier gave him for free because either he was too handsome or England was too adorable, and they continued on their "merry" way to buy England some new clothes.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Bad friends trio take care of baby!England
(Anonymous) 2010-09-19 04:33 pm (UTC)(link)Coochie, coochie coo! [1a/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 05:11 am (UTC)(link)piss them offget them to laughbut it really only pisses them off and they yank your hair harder than ever afterwards ;A;hope you enjoy, OP~-x-x-x-
Ahhh, what a beautiful day! The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and the Bad Touch Trio currently lay in a hungover heap on Romano's bed.
Or maybe it was Belgium's. Or Seychelles', or Monaco's, or...you get the picture. The three really didn't know where the fuck they were, all they knew was that the bed was really comfy, and their heads were really killing. Besiiiides, "sharing is caring" and all that jazz, right?
Prussia was the first to wake up, and that was only because he heard the bedroom door slam open. The shrill shriek emitted by none other than England - oh, that was where they were! Prussia felt proud of himself for figuring that out...but...wait...how the fuck did they get in England again? - woke France, and France's elaborate stretching (a motion which here entailed hitting Spain in the nose) woke the third up.
So all three turned to blink sleepily at the furious figure standing in the doorway.
"You - why - what -" England sputtered, pointing one hand at the trio.
"You bastard!" shouted Spain all of a sudden, lifting a hand to point at England and falling off the bed. "You brought reinforcements! This is supposed to be one on one, not five on one! Apparitions, begone!" Cue exorcistic hand motions.
(Of course, by this point, France and Prussia were laughing too hard for England to hear the rest of Spain's words.)
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" England screeched, hurling the book he held at France's head. It hit the blonde in the jaw ("MON VISAGE!" because, you know, he's French and French people don't yell MY FACE in English, now do they?) and England stomped his feet in RAEGGG when none of the too-drunk-to-care trio complied to his wishes.
So there was only one thing left to do!
With a dramatic pirouette and a jump, England's green military uniform - because, you know, he's an insomniac who spends his time embroidering instead of sleeping - transformed into a crisp white toga, and a wand materialized in his hand.
The Bad Touch Trio stared in awe (well, not really. It was more of a YOU'RE HIGH AND WE'RE HUNGOVER expression of appreciation) as England twirled again and pointed the wand at the three rather grandly.
"If you want to act childishly, then children you shall be!" he said (grandly), sweeping his arm (grandly) in a wide arc and smirking (grandly) as sparkles flew out the end of the wand (grandly). The three on the bed passed out at the same exact time, from overexposure to grandness of proportions as epic as those the blonde was portraying.
Of course, this was England, and if you've ever been to England you'll know that nothing goes right there. (No, seriously, the forecast says NO RAIN, YIPPEE! and so you go out in a dress, and the guy's right, it doesn't rain. No, it hails instead, and Mother Nature cackles as you shake ice out of your panties.)
-x-x-x-
The three woke up several hours later, decidedly more sober and curious as to how they ended up on England's bed.
"Maybe he kidnapped us," suggested Spain.
"Hah! Kidnap the awesome me?" crowed Prussia. "We obviously went drinking together, and the loser had to host us for the night!"
"Then shouldn't we be at your place, mon ami?" interjected France. "It is clear that we had an orgy and England woke up first."
"Then why're our clothes on?"
"Foolish Spaniard! You know how prude Arthur is. And how much he likes touching my five meters! I bet he dressed us just so he could -"
"Fascinating, Gilbert. Mais, Antoine is right; darling Arthur has never dressed us before."
"Maybe we're just imagining to be dressed!"
"Maybe we actually got drunk and wound up here..."
"Oui, Ludwig has been most kind, but even he must be annoyed when we waltz into his home at all odd hours, drunk beyond measure -"
"Okay, first, the awesome me doesn't waltz."
Coochie, coochie coo! [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 05:12 am (UTC)(link)And, well, they kind of noticed when England cannonballed towards the Frenchman.
Not really. It was kind of,
"No, I think we spoke to that Italian chick before we went to the club on that street thingy in Paris!"
*whoosh*
"The Champs-Élysées? I thought that was after we got that sushi deal -" *thump* "- the unlimited order but anything you waste you have to pay for? You know, the place we made ourselves throw up at so we wouldn't get charged?"
*pained gasp*
"So, Francie, what do you - hey, where'd Francis go?"
"The gremlins kidnapped him. Who gives a fuck?"
"D-down here *wheeze* mes amis..."
And then sitting up with baby England plastered onto France's face.
"Fwancis!" he cooed, hugging his face tightly.
"I-is that England??" said Prussia incredulously, blinking widely and leaning forward for a better glance as France peeled England off his beautiful head. The first thing France noticed was that, instead of mocking humor, there was an adoring, doting glimmer in Prussia's burgundy eyes. Spain's Hooker's green ones (when the three had held a color wheel to Spain's eyes, they had been absolutely delighted to discover that the precise shade was called Hooker's green) reflected the same emotion, and both men looked absolutely smitten with the giggling bundle in France's arms.
France hadn't had the chance to look at England himself yet, and so he spun the little guy around and stared at him straight in the face.
Before melting like chocolate on a sunny day.
Because England was just so fucking cute.
Instead of twisted into a grimace, shell-pink lips were curved up into a wide smile. His emerald eyes shone radiantly, almost like a character in Japan's shows, and were filled with so much love and warmth that it made France kind of shatter inside. Two tiny hands - barely large enough to wrap around two of France's long, artisan fingers - groped out for him.
The white, unblemished and un-scarred skin on his round, chubby cheeks quivered as he giggled. "Bwothew, bwothew!" he was cooing. "Why're you so biiiig?"
France stared in open shock.
Spain piped up first, an enthusiastic grin on his face and a gleam in his eyes that France hadn't seen since Romano was a cute little kid. "Can we keep him?"
It took half a second for the other two men to reply. "You would say that, you pedophile."
The Spaniard frowned. "Awww, please?"
"But - a baby!" said Prussia, biting his lip.
"You never raised one, you don't know how fun it is," argued Spain.
"You only like kids because Romano let you touch him when he was little!"
"No he didn't!"
"Aha! So you tried, then!"
"Huh? You lost me..."
France absently pulled England close and started stroking his hair, smiling. "Don't worry, Artur~ we'll keep you safe," he hummed.
England, oblivious to the bickering, absently gnawed on France's hair.
-x-x-x-
so. :DDDD THIS WAS INSANELY FUN TO WRITE. Next part in a few days, or tomorrow if I'm lucky xD
Re: Coochie, coochie coo! [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 05:57 am (UTC)(link)Marry me author!anon. I won't settle for no. -makes grabby hands at you-
authornonnn
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 06:03 am (UTC)(link)I'm glad you liked it! :DDD
Re: Coochie, coochie coo! [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 08:36 am (UTC)(link)yes.
Here's to really, really hoping Francis peeks back into his young!France personality with mini!Arthur because it'd really out the other two like nothing else. And the fourthwall-breaching was hilarious, author!anon! I'd ask to marry you too, but I see someone has spoken before me. D:
Re: Coochie, coochie coo! [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 02:19 pm (UTC)(link)I was thinking of doing that, even though France will probably have "magic fingers" slipping up England's shirt. Hmm.
I'm into polygamy ;D /shot
authornon says oops
(Anonymous) - 2010-10-07 14:23 (UTC) - ExpandRe: Coochie, coochie coo! [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 09:08 am (UTC)(link)This fic? Im stalking it! :D
authornon says herro
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 02:22 pm (UTC)(link)Spain is SUCH a pedo, are you kidding me?? Oh man :'D
Yay!!! -glomps-
Re: Coochie, coochie coo! [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 10:25 am (UTC)(link)<3
authornon hands you medicine :D
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Coochie, coochie coo! [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 11:00 am (UTC)(link)*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
Spain's Hooker's green ones (when the three had held a color wheel to Spain's eyes, they had been absolutely delighted to discover that the precise shade was called Hooker's green)
Pfff, this is so...so them xD
Two tiny hands - barely large enough to wrap around two of France's long, artisan fingers - groped out for him.
ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH THE CUTE?????????????????? ^^
England, oblivious to the bickering, absently gnawed on France's hair.
D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, so adorable~~
Moar cute brother France and sweet, adorable bundle of cuteness Chibirisu ♥
by the way, I fucking love that title something fierce XD
authornon cackles in delight, she's never been quoted before :'D
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 02:28 pm (UTC)(link)I know, right? Originally what happened was me describing Spain's eyes as "emerald" but then I had to do something for England's eyes, so I went on Wikipedia's "shades of green" page and chose the color that looked closest to Spain's eyes! (according to me. But I'm colorblind :D)
And I'm sorry! England is soooooooooooooooooo cute, man, he's a frickin adorable baby boy :'D but the req was for a "happy, chubby little thing", so...sorry! -hands you a bandaid to cover the gaping cuteness wound-
ISN'T HE?!?! UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
"Big Brother Francis to the rescue!" /shot
And thank you :'DDD
Re: Coochie, coochie coo! [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 12:34 pm (UTC)(link)authornon flails happily
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Coochie, coochie coo! [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)authornon is running out of witty subject titles, at least you like me witty banter ;D
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Coochie, coochie coo! [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)OP Anon here..
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)I just want to let you know, author anon, that I will be kidnapping you and keeping you for my own happiness.
BUT ANYWAY. This is amazing. Thanks so much, and don't be surprised if I appear at your doorstep tomorrow with flowers, chocolate and other pleasurable things. *wink wink*
LOVE OP ANON
authornon grins coyly
(Anonymous) - 2010-10-07 21:39 (UTC) - Expandauthornon says ISN'T HE???
(Anonymous) 2010-10-07 09:41 pm (UTC)(link)Thanks, I'm glad you like it :)
Re: Coochie, coochie coo! [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-10-08 01:01 am (UTC)(link)Ok I'm done. But seriously author!anon, this is the best thing to read when you're on your period and you just want to kill something. Teh kyoot is just melting away my urge to hurt things AND I LIKE IT. France/England may very well be my favourite romantic pairing... BUT I CAN'T RESIST BROTHERLY ADORATION~ *goes to google Hooker's green* Soooooo cute, and I love your humour. Great start, HOPING FOR MORE SOON!
authonon knows EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL, I'M DYING OF CRAMPS AND A MIGRAINE ATM D:<
(Anonymous) 2010-10-08 05:56 am (UTC)(link)Thank you! I'm glad someone else was able to work out the agony (man, I snap and then spin around and giggle sluttily when I'm on my period o.e) and writing this lessened the weirdness. But it was so cute, I got all hyper in telling the kink to me friend @ school and she was all, "Yo, Megs, calm the fuck down." (So of course I said, "I got this!" C:)
FrUK = LOVEEEEEEE
France + England = CUUUUUUUUUUUTE
Thank you! Ain't Hooker's green just the puuuuurtiest damn color you've ever seen? /shot
Coochie, coochie coo! [2aa/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-10-19 05:01 am (UTC)(link)This is pt1 of ch2, next part will be up tomorrow!
-x-x-x-
The three hadn't trusted anyone else with knowledge of England's new...state, for the simple fear that it would get to Hungary and that the mad woman would stuff him into dresses, and since none of the Bad Touch were experts in magic they couldn't exactly predict how that might turn out. If France's theory was right, this was the England from before the wars - back when he was still on good terms with his siblings, or something like that. If what they did now affected how he was when normal!grumpy!England popped back into existence, then it was crucial that they not destroy his mind by making him cross-dress.
...although the idea of a fully-grown England waltzing around in less-stuffy clothes (or, if France was allowed his way, no clothes at all), like a frilly pink apron over jeans and a t-shirt, and smiling prettily at everyone was pretty damn funny.
Him cross-dressing would be even funnier.
But they were afraid - what might happen to the world and the space-time continuum if they fucked England up??
So they decided to leave babified England in France's care while Spain and Prussia went off searching for a cure. Norway was probably their best bet, but to be honest the guy scared the fuck out of all three and so they decided to save him for a last resort.
France was deeply regretting that option, as soon as Spain and Prussia got their clothes on and waltzed outside.
Why?
For one thing, barely a moment after the other two were gone, England had turned those saucer-wide eyes on him and asked timidly, "Mr Bunny?" and so France had had to carry England upstairs (believe it or not, kid was too tiny to scale them on his own) and set him on top of a storage trunk as he probed through the attic in search of the aforementioned stuffed bunny that England had had (and magicked to perfection dozens of times). Fifteen minutes' search and England was clutching the ratty old thing happily, smiling radiantly and even eating the omelette du fromage that France had cooked him for lunch without a single protest.
"Yummy!" he squealed instead, and France facepalmed from the epic cuteness.
Another problem with the kid?
Well, that shirt was so not meant for carrying toddlers. After lunch, England had, oh-so-quietly and oh-so-cutely, requested some ice cream; France hadn't the heart to refuse him, the way he would've done to a normal England.
Of course, as soon as getting the scoop of strawberry ice cream, the little one had tripped and dropped it and stuck out his lower lip to keep from crying at both the loss of ice cream and the scrapes on his knees.
Again, he was too goddamn cute for France to laugh at, which led to him kissing the boo-boos - kissing them! - and picking up the sniffling toddler and smearing sticky ice cream on his shirt and feeling so much like a mother that he thought maybe he should just go buy a floral-patterned maternity dress and high heels, like he'd done for Halloween that one year. Then he carried the now-smiling-shyly England back to the parlour, gotten another scoop which the pretty little cashier gave him for free because either he was too handsome or England was too adorable, and they continued on their "merry" way to buy England some new clothes.
OKAY I LIEEED. PLACEHOLDER
(Anonymous) 2010-10-19 05:04 am (UTC)(link)PLACEHOLDER
(Anonymous) 2010-10-19 05:04 am (UTC)(link)