It's interesting that you chose Spain as the first! I was not expecting that. Very cool. And his courtship! That was so cute, even if I'm on the states' side in this fillXD. That last message certainly sounds ominous, lol. And we're gonna get France, too! ^^ I agree with all the other reviewers that the bit about only needing his mom and his siblings was adorable =^:^=
Spanish corrections:
“Acepto tu disculpa.” While this is not incorrect per se, in an informal setting, among people who know each other, it's more correct "Te perdono"
“I shall consider it a promise, mi amor,” Again, not really incorrect, but perhaps forced. Just "amor" sounds better. More correct (but very affected) is also "amor mío"
“Pero no tan bella como usted…” It should be "bellas", because you were talking about flowers, which is plural. "Usted" is a VERY formal pronoun. It'd be better to use "Pero no tan bellas como tú"
That being said, I'm really impressed with the Spanish in this fic; it's well placed and generally very correct ^^
*headdesk* You'd think that since I'm in Spanish 3, I would have learned something by now. But then again, that's what I get for trying to translate English directly to Spanish and using Google Translate.
I'll get my Spanish teacher to help me with some the sentences...
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Re: Jealousy [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-09-02 10:04 am (UTC)(link)I agree with all the other reviewers that the bit about only needing his mom and his siblings was adorable =^:^=
Spanish corrections:
“Acepto tu disculpa.” While this is not incorrect per se, in an informal setting, among people who know each other, it's more correct "Te perdono"
“I shall consider it a promise, mi amor,” Again, not really incorrect, but perhaps forced. Just "amor" sounds better. More correct (but very affected) is also "amor mío"
“Pero no tan bella como usted…” It should be "bellas", because you were talking about flowers, which is plural. "Usted" is a VERY formal pronoun. It'd be better to use "Pero no tan bellas como tú"
That being said, I'm really impressed with the Spanish in this fic; it's well placed and generally very correct ^^
Filler!Anon
(Anonymous) 2010-09-02 01:01 pm (UTC)(link)I'll get my Spanish teacher to help me with some the sentences...