[Author!Anon hopes that OP forgives her for if instead of it being the Hetalia Radio Show, Gilbert is actually filling in as a guest host on France's radio show... because Gilbert giving love advice is like... pffft.]
"... so, in short, what I'm asking is how do I explain my sock fetish to my girlfriend? I have a shitload of sock porn made by some friends of mine and I really wanna explain the situation to her before she 'accidentally' finds it."
Gilbert stared at the red blinking light momentarily.
"...hello?"
See on the radio, even five seconds of silence can seem pretty damn awkward, Gilbert cleared his throat, preparing to respond.
"Uh... well, 'Mr.Mycocklikessocks' you're gonna have to explain that to her pretty damn soon. Like, seriously, when she finds the porn, she'll like strip you of all your socks! Dude, what if she takes that fuzzy pink one you were telling me about earlier? Not awesome! So, man up and go tell her!"
"Thanks dude!"
Gilbert hung up and pressed the next red blinking button.
"Yo caller! You're the air speaking with the Awesomeness himself!" Prussia always automatically assumed everyone knew who he was.
"Yeah... I was wondering since you were dead and everything... are you like a zombie or something? Cause, you know, zombies are scary shit... and like Japan was saying how zombies can alive and dead at the same time..."
"Yo America! How do you feel about an awesome zombie banging you're little brother!?"
"WHAT THE FU-"
Prussia ended the call and smirked. Okay... so all he did was visit Mattie's house for pancakes but, hell, America didn't need to know that, now, did he? Especially after calling him a zombie.
"Next caller, you're on the air."
"KEKKON, KEKKON, KEKKO-"
And Prussia promptly pressed the button again before shouting in the mike, "It's 'Prussia' with a 'P' not Russia!"
Prussia sighed and leaned back in his chair gazing up at the ceiling above him. He wondered how Francis managed to run this show on a weekly basis, half the callers were retarded and the other half were prank callers... well, except that guy with the sock fetish... he was pretty chill.
"Before the Awesomeness takes the next call, I would like to say that I hope a little of my awesomeness, which being broadcast via radio-waves has reached you guys tonight and made you all a little awesomer. Okay~ Next caller, you're on the air!"
"I-I'll see yer arse to Davy Jones for wha' ya said about m'boy," came the drunken slur.
"Mon cheri... you have drunk far too much... not that I mind~", Prussia could almost see Francis's face at the moment,"But you are besmirching the image of my radio show of love..."
Prussia thought he had BESMIRCHED Francis's show sufficiently enough already.
"SHADDUP, YA DAMN FROG! 'e was talkin' badly about... w-waz his name again?
Prussia honestly couldn't have asked for a better duo to call in, honestly, these two could like start a comedy act or something. Of course, if he started a comedy act it would be way more awesome than theirs.
"Canada, mon cheri."
"R-right..."
Prussia suddenly noticed to other lines that were blinking as well. Having an awesome intuition, Prussia totally knew who they were. He quickly added them in.
Aww... the whole family together, this was going to be interesting.
ANOOOON. I LOVE THIS. IT'S SLFKJAFL CUUUUTE AND JUST LIKE HOW I IMAGINED IT TO BE. YOU HAVE EMBODIED THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS PRUSSIA, AND THE LITTLE CAMEOS AND FRUK MAKE ME GIGGLE. AWESOME ZOMBIE SAUCE. 8)
thanks for writing! can't wait for the next parts. C:
"-ussia, h-how dare you e-even suggest that we were...," Prussia could see the blush on Mattie's face (man, his visualisation skills were on top tonight.
"Maaaattt, you're supposed to stay a virgin forever!"
A gasp was audible from the Frenchman's line, "Matthieu has Prussia deflowered you? Dites-moi c'est une farce~"
Incoherent and angry muttering from Brit was heard in the background.
"Why the hell do you guys only pay attention to me when it involves my romantic life, eh? Besides, whether or not Prussia and I are having sex is none of your concern anyways. What about Alfred? He's "deflowering" Japan on a regular basis! But, noooo, it's the obedient little colony that has to under the scrutiny of his overbearing and overprotective parents. Then, once he's saved from the horrible evils, they just forget about him!"
Prussia thought he was hearing sobbing from America's phone line... oh dear, it was the dreaded passive-aggressive rant of doom, known to reduce idiotic and egotistical Americans to snivelling little idiots.
"M-Matt?"
"SHUT UP ALFRED!"
A whimper came from the line. Prussia decided that America had had enough trauma and disconnected the line. Yes, even the Awesomeness knew how to be forgiving sometimes.
"But Matthie-"
"Not done yet!"
Oh, shi-
"Yo Francis, I'm gonna be awesome enough and let you go and take advantage of England and spare you the wrath of your son!" Prussia interjected quickly before disconnecting the other line.
He swallowed.
"Prussia."
"Y-yeah, birdie?"
"You know what you're punishment is, don't you?"
Prussia grinned, "A date?"
Canada snorted, "No pancakes or maple syrup for year."
Canada hung up.
The radio audience only heard muffled sobs for the next half hour of the show.
[THE END. Anon apologises for fail ending and Prussia getting cockblocked... PruCan omake fluff can be written if wanted...]
'Cuz, dude... that... awesome. Passive-agressive rants? Yesh. Drunk l'Angleterre? Yesh. France? Yesh. Alfred? Sure, why not. Prussia? HECK YEAH. All on a radio show? I want that to be real. I WANT MORE!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Gilbert does the radio... awesomely. [1/2-3?]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-25 05:26 am (UTC)(link)"... so, in short, what I'm asking is how do I explain my sock fetish to my girlfriend? I have a shitload of sock porn made by some friends of mine and I really wanna explain the situation to her before she 'accidentally' finds it."
Gilbert stared at the red blinking light momentarily.
"...hello?"
See on the radio, even five seconds of silence can seem pretty damn awkward, Gilbert cleared his throat, preparing to respond.
"Uh... well, 'Mr.Mycocklikessocks' you're gonna have to explain that to her pretty damn soon. Like, seriously, when she finds the porn, she'll like strip you of all your socks! Dude, what if she takes that fuzzy pink one you were telling me about earlier? Not awesome! So, man up and go tell her!"
"Thanks dude!"
Gilbert hung up and pressed the next red blinking button.
"Yo caller! You're the air speaking with the Awesomeness himself!" Prussia always automatically assumed everyone knew who he was.
"Yeah... I was wondering since you were dead and everything... are you like a zombie or something? Cause, you know, zombies are scary shit... and like Japan was saying how zombies can alive and dead at the same time..."
"Yo America! How do you feel about an awesome zombie banging you're little brother!?"
"WHAT THE FU-"
Prussia ended the call and smirked. Okay... so all he did was visit Mattie's house for pancakes but, hell, America didn't need to know that, now, did he? Especially after calling him a zombie.
"Next caller, you're on the air."
"KEKKON, KEKKON, KEKKO-"
And Prussia promptly pressed the button again before shouting in the mike, "It's 'Prussia' with a 'P' not Russia!"
Prussia sighed and leaned back in his chair gazing up at the ceiling above him. He wondered how Francis managed to run this show on a weekly basis, half the callers were retarded and the other half were prank callers... well, except that guy with the sock fetish... he was pretty chill.
"Before the Awesomeness takes the next call, I would like to say that I hope a little of my awesomeness, which being broadcast via radio-waves has reached you guys tonight and made you all a little awesomer. Okay~ Next caller, you're on the air!"
"I-I'll see yer arse to Davy Jones for wha' ya said about m'boy," came the drunken slur.
"Mon cheri... you have drunk far too much... not that I mind~", Prussia could almost see Francis's face at the moment,"But you are besmirching the image of my radio show of love..."
Prussia thought he had BESMIRCHED Francis's show sufficiently enough already.
"SHADDUP, YA DAMN FROG! 'e was talkin' badly about... w-waz his name again?
Prussia honestly couldn't have asked for a better duo to call in, honestly, these two could like start a comedy act or something. Of course, if he started a comedy act it would be way more awesome than theirs.
"Canada, mon cheri."
"R-right..."
Prussia suddenly noticed to other lines that were blinking as well. Having an awesome intuition, Prussia totally knew who they were. He quickly added them in.
Aww... the whole family together, this was going to be interesting.
[Part 2 should be up tomorrow.]]
Re: Gilbert does the radio... awesomely. [1/2-3?]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-25 05:45 am (UTC)(link)OP
(Anonymous) 2010-08-25 12:40 pm (UTC)(link)thanks for writing! can't wait for the next parts. C:
Gilbert does the radio... awesomely. [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-26 05:13 am (UTC)(link)"Maaaattt, you're supposed to stay a virgin forever!"
A gasp was audible from the Frenchman's line, "Matthieu has Prussia deflowered you? Dites-moi c'est une farce~"
Incoherent and angry muttering from Brit was heard in the background.
"Why the hell do you guys only pay attention to me when it involves my romantic life, eh? Besides, whether or not Prussia and I are having sex is none of your concern anyways. What about Alfred? He's "deflowering" Japan on a regular basis! But, noooo, it's the obedient little colony that has to under the scrutiny of his overbearing and overprotective parents. Then, once he's saved from the horrible evils, they just forget about him!"
Prussia thought he was hearing sobbing from America's phone line... oh dear, it was the dreaded passive-aggressive rant of doom, known to reduce idiotic and egotistical Americans to snivelling little idiots.
"M-Matt?"
"SHUT UP ALFRED!"
A whimper came from the line. Prussia decided that America had had enough trauma and disconnected the line. Yes, even the Awesomeness knew how to be forgiving sometimes.
"But Matthie-"
"Not done yet!"
Oh, shi-
"Yo Francis, I'm gonna be awesome enough and let you go and take advantage of England and spare you the wrath of your son!" Prussia interjected quickly before disconnecting the other line.
He swallowed.
"Prussia."
"Y-yeah, birdie?"
"You know what you're punishment is, don't you?"
Prussia grinned, "A date?"
Canada snorted, "No pancakes or maple syrup for year."
Canada hung up.
The radio audience only heard muffled sobs for the next half hour of the show.
[THE END. Anon apologises for fail ending and Prussia getting cockblocked... PruCan omake fluff can be written if wanted...]
OP
(Anonymous) 2010-08-26 05:24 am (UTC)(link)Re: Gilbert does the radio... awesomely. [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-26 07:49 am (UTC)(link)And did someone say omake fluff? :D
Re: Gilbert does the radio... awesomely. [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-26 02:16 pm (UTC)(link)Good job!
Re: Gilbert does the radio... awesomely. [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-26 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)/discreetly hi-fives CanadaThis was simply brilliant, anon, and I definitely wouldn't mind that omake. Go write it, go go go! /o/
Please?
(Anonymous) 2010-08-28 01:01 am (UTC)(link)'Cuz, dude... that... awesome. Passive-agressive rants? Yesh. Drunk l'Angleterre? Yesh. France? Yesh. Alfred? Sure, why not.
Prussia? HECK YEAH.
All on a radio show? I want that to be real. I WANT MORE!
(PruCan fluff?! Yes please!!!)
PruCan fluff will be here... in a week!
(Anonymous) 2010-08-28 02:05 am (UTC)(link)