Germania struggling to get comfortable caring for a young HRE, Prussia, Switzerland and whoever else you want to throw in.
Anon wants to see some fail!parenting, awkward moments when doing basic childcare like changing, bathing or even picking up a baby, and a slightly frazzled Germania trying to wrangle in a difficult and combative little Prussia.
Bonus: if Rome is forced to show him how it's done.
"So...you dropped him." Germania cringed as Holy Roman Empire continued to wail. He didn't know what was worse: dropping his own son, the incredible feeling of guilt that he had over dropping said child, or the fact that it was Rome of all people pointing this out to him. "I-I didn't mean to! He wouldn't quit moving! Prussia, Switzerland, and Austria never moved this much!" He yelled defensively, cradling the child to his chest. Rome shook his head before handing Germania a cold cloth to put on the boy's head. "Honestly, Germania, how could you drop your own son? You'd better hope that doesn't affect him later on." Rome lectured. Germania rolled his eyes before placing the cloth on Holy Roman Empire's head. "Oh shut up. You know I'm not cut out for this stuff. I can wrestle a bear, shoot arrows, and take on an entire tribe. I'm not meant to change diapers and explain why the sky is blue or where babies come from." Germania spat. Rome shook his head before taking the small child from the other man, attempting to further soothe him. Much to Germania's surprise, it worked and little Holy Roman Empire was soon fast asleep. Rome grinned before gently placing the boy in his basket. "Don't worry, Germania, the master is always willing to take on a disciple." Germania facepalmed. ___________________
Germania was many things. He was a warrior, a damned brilliant one at that. He was a hunter, capable of bringing down a bear with his bare hands. He was a Nation, the physical manifestation of all his numerous people.
But a father? He was not.
Germania stared, unimpressed at the wriggling, squirming, belching, pooping, fragile child before him. The little boy all soft skin, and tender bones, easily crushed with a flick of his hand. And it was in his arms!
"Buh." The baby blubbered, drooling all over Germania's shirt.
He had never been so terrified in his life.
Though a man of few words and simple pleasures, Germania was in no way a man of small thoughts. He was intelligent, a deep thinker, and yet all his mental faculties could not comprehend the caretaking of a mere kid. What did it do? What did it eat? What the hell was he supposed to do with it?
"I have no idea..." He sighed deeply, hanging his head.
The strangely white-haired, red-eyed baby only tilted his head. And farted.
"God help me."
"Buh."
0-0-0
After seeing (and smelling) the baby's little present, Germania had decided to give it a bath.
It started off well enough. He had even found some sweet-smelling flowers to perfume the water. And the baby seemed to be enjoying itself, splashing in the little stream, giggling, and blathering nonsensical things. Watching the little creature play, Germania had to admit, it was kind of cute.
Of course, being the manly man that he was, he would never admit such a thing out loud. Even under the pain of death.
But it really was cute.
And for awhile, everything was fine and dandy. Germania was content. The baby wasn't dead yet, so he figured he must've been doing something right.
He looked away once. Just once.
He could've sworn that he had heard a twig snap. It must've been a passing squirrel or something, maybe it was his imagination, either way, nothing had come out of it. Shrugging, he simply brushed it off, and returned his attention to the baby.
Except there had been no baby to return his attention to.
How could this happen? It was only a baby! Where could it have possibly gone?!
Searching wildly about, Germania chanced a look up, just in time to see that rosy, baby butt disappear between the bushes.
Springing into action, Germania rushed across the stream. He paid no mind that he had just soaked his newly-sewn boots made from the especially difficult to hunt Northern elk. He had a baby to catch!
Pushing through the surpringly thorny branches, Germania arrived at a fairly large clearing. With no baby in sight. Had he been a man with just an inch less of composure, Rome for example, he would've screamed in frustration. As it were, Germania was far more mature than Rome, no matter what the man deluded himself to think. He would not yell his frustrations or throw up his hands. He was going to calmly, cooly search for the baby.
Several hours later, Germania sat at the roots of a tree, his head hanging low, with his spirits even lower. He looked like the picture of defeat.
It didn't seem so hard at first. It was just a baby after all. It was about as tall as his knee, with bright, white hair! There was no way he could miss it! And yet here he was, the sun about to set, and still... No baby.
Germania morbidly wondered if it was still even alive.
"Well, if it isn't my favorite savage. How're you doing, Germania?"
Germania morbidly wondered if he could join the dead baby.
Of course, as if to add insult to injury, the last person Germania ever wanted to see came strolling up to him. All wide smiles and just practically radiating with energy, Rome in all his glory. Germania wanted to puke.
"Hn." He replied, trying in vain to ignore the Empire.
Rome was not so easily deterred of course. He wouldn't have conquered nearly all of the Mediterranean if he gave up so easily.
"Grumpy as ever I see."
Germania only doubled his efforts to ignore him.
"Missing something?" Rome inquired, a sneaky little smirk on his face.
Germania blinked, before his gaze snapped towards the Empire. His mind putting two and two together. He lunged at the brunette. Pinning him to the ground as he stared coldly at him.
"My, my Germania. If you wanted to play like this, I had some nice silk sheets back at my place." Rome teased.
Germania only glared, pushing Rome further into the dirt.
"Or we could do it here. Feel the cool evening breeze on our skin, that's nice too."
"Shut up."
Wordlessly complying, Rome gazed up, that mischievious smile still curling on his lips. He knew something that bastard.
"You were the one who snapped the twig, didn't you? What were you doing? Spying on us?" Germania snapped.
"Oh please, Germania. I have conquered land from Egypt to far off Britannia. I have better things to do than spy on an old friend."
Germania moved his hands so they wrapped around Rome's neck. And squeezed.
"Alright, alright, alright, alright." Rome gasped out, his face turning a hideous red. "I'll talk..."
It's been awhile since I wrote on here. Frogive me for the crappy quality.
KEEP GOING!!! I HAVE TO KNOW WHERE BABY PRUSSIA IS!!! *dies*
This is crappy? You had me lol'ing for real over here! Especially with Rome (and Germania denying Gilbert's cuteness :3 ) *piles virtual table with internets* TAKE THEM AND CONTINUE! 8D
*ponders* Would that make Austria England's cousin or something? On the other hand, the Anglo-Saxons were Germanic, but given the general mess that's England's family tree (seriously, between all the invasions and migrations the guy is probably related to half of Europe), who knows?
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Germania as an awkward father
(Anonymous) 2010-08-15 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)Anon wants to see some fail!parenting, awkward moments when doing basic childcare like changing, bathing or even picking up a baby, and a slightly frazzled Germania trying to wrangle in a difficult and combative little Prussia.
Bonus: if Rome is forced to show him how it's done.
Extremely mini!fill
(Anonymous) 2010-08-20 01:21 am (UTC)(link)"I-I didn't mean to! He wouldn't quit moving! Prussia, Switzerland, and Austria never moved this much!" He yelled defensively, cradling the child to his chest. Rome shook his head before handing Germania a cold cloth to put on the boy's head.
"Honestly, Germania, how could you drop your own son? You'd better hope that doesn't affect him later on." Rome lectured. Germania rolled his eyes before placing the cloth on Holy Roman Empire's head.
"Oh shut up. You know I'm not cut out for this stuff. I can wrestle a bear, shoot arrows, and take on an entire tribe. I'm not meant to change diapers and explain why the sky is blue or where babies come from." Germania spat. Rome shook his head before taking the small child from the other man, attempting to further soothe him. Much to Germania's surprise, it worked and little Holy Roman Empire was soon fast asleep. Rome grinned before gently placing the boy in his basket.
"Don't worry, Germania, the master is always willing to take on a disciple."
Germania facepalmed.
___________________
Re: Extremely mini!fill
(Anonymous) 2010-08-20 07:34 am (UTC)(link)And of course Rome is taking HRE away. :)
Re: Extremely mini!fill
(Anonymous) 2010-08-20 10:15 am (UTC)(link)Re: Extremely mini!fill
(Anonymous) 2010-08-20 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)OP
(Anonymous) 2010-08-20 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)I love you writer!anon <3
Re: Extremely mini!fill
(Anonymous) 2010-08-22 01:19 am (UTC)(link)And suddenly everything makes sense.
Thumbs up anon, that was cute. <3
Define Daddy [1a/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-23 02:18 am (UTC)(link)But a father? He was not.
Germania stared, unimpressed at the wriggling, squirming, belching, pooping, fragile child before him. The little boy all soft skin, and tender bones, easily crushed with a flick of his hand. And it was in his arms!
"Buh." The baby blubbered, drooling all over Germania's shirt.
He had never been so terrified in his life.
Though a man of few words and simple pleasures, Germania was in no way a man of small thoughts. He was intelligent, a deep thinker, and yet all his mental faculties could not comprehend the caretaking of a mere kid. What did it do? What did it eat? What the hell was he supposed to do with it?
"I have no idea..." He sighed deeply, hanging his head.
The strangely white-haired, red-eyed baby only tilted his head. And farted.
"God help me."
"Buh."
0-0-0
After seeing (and smelling) the baby's little present, Germania had decided to give it a bath.
It started off well enough. He had even found some sweet-smelling flowers to perfume the water. And the baby seemed to be enjoying itself, splashing in the little stream, giggling, and blathering nonsensical things. Watching the little creature play, Germania had to admit, it was kind of cute.
Of course, being the manly man that he was, he would never admit such a thing out loud. Even under the pain of death.
But it really was cute.
And for awhile, everything was fine and dandy. Germania was content. The baby wasn't dead yet, so he figured he must've been doing something right.
He looked away once. Just once.
He could've sworn that he had heard a twig snap. It must've been a passing squirrel or something, maybe it was his imagination, either way, nothing had come out of it. Shrugging, he simply brushed it off, and returned his attention to the baby.
Except there had been no baby to return his attention to.
How could this happen? It was only a baby! Where could it have possibly gone?!
Searching wildly about, Germania chanced a look up, just in time to see that rosy, baby butt disappear between the bushes.
Germania could only gape.
It was official. He was the worst father ever.
Define Daddy [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-23 02:19 am (UTC)(link)Pushing through the surpringly thorny branches, Germania arrived at a fairly large clearing. With no baby in sight. Had he been a man with just an inch less of composure, Rome for example, he would've screamed in frustration. As it were, Germania was far more mature than Rome, no matter what the man deluded himself to think. He would not yell his frustrations or throw up his hands. He was going to calmly, cooly search for the baby.
Several hours later, Germania sat at the roots of a tree, his head hanging low, with his spirits even lower. He looked like the picture of defeat.
It didn't seem so hard at first. It was just a baby after all. It was about as tall as his knee, with bright, white hair! There was no way he could miss it! And yet here he was, the sun about to set, and still... No baby.
Germania morbidly wondered if it was still even alive.
"Well, if it isn't my favorite savage. How're you doing, Germania?"
Germania morbidly wondered if he could join the dead baby.
Of course, as if to add insult to injury, the last person Germania ever wanted to see came strolling up to him. All wide smiles and just practically radiating with energy, Rome in all his glory. Germania wanted to puke.
"Hn." He replied, trying in vain to ignore the Empire.
Rome was not so easily deterred of course. He wouldn't have conquered nearly all of the Mediterranean if he gave up so easily.
"Grumpy as ever I see."
Germania only doubled his efforts to ignore him.
"Missing something?" Rome inquired, a sneaky little smirk on his face.
Germania blinked, before his gaze snapped towards the Empire. His mind putting two and two together. He lunged at the brunette. Pinning him to the ground as he stared coldly at him.
"My, my Germania. If you wanted to play like this, I had some nice silk sheets back at my place." Rome teased.
Germania only glared, pushing Rome further into the dirt.
"Or we could do it here. Feel the cool evening breeze on our skin, that's nice too."
"Shut up."
Wordlessly complying, Rome gazed up, that mischievious smile still curling on his lips. He knew something that bastard.
"You were the one who snapped the twig, didn't you? What were you doing? Spying on us?" Germania snapped.
"Oh please, Germania. I have conquered land from Egypt to far off Britannia. I have better things to do than spy on an old friend."
Germania moved his hands so they wrapped around Rome's neck. And squeezed.
"Alright, alright, alright, alright." Rome gasped out, his face turning a hideous red. "I'll talk..."
It's been awhile since I wrote on here. Frogive me for the crappy quality.
Re: Define Daddy [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-23 02:40 am (UTC)(link)This is crappy? You had me lol'ing for real over here! Especially with Rome (and Germania denying Gilbert's cuteness :3 )
*piles virtual table with internets* TAKE THEM AND CONTINUE! 8D
Re: Define Daddy [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-23 03:43 am (UTC)(link)Re: Define Daddy [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-23 04:17 am (UTC)(link)Re: Define Daddy [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-23 04:50 am (UTC)(link)Re: Define Daddy [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-23 06:15 am (UTC)(link)Slightly relevant question: is Austria Germania's son?
Re: Define Daddy [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-23 12:33 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Define Daddy [1b/?]
(Anonymous) 2010-08-23 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)I mean, Belgium at that time already spoke both the-sort-of-french and sort-of-german.
OP
(Anonymous) 2010-08-24 01:29 am (UTC)(link)This just made my whole day <33333
I love you so much, Author anon, Please continue ;w;;;