Hetalia kink meme (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hetalia_kink) wrote2012-06-03 02:47 pm
hetalia_kink) wrote2012-06-03 02:47 pm
Hetalia Kink meme part 15
axis powers
hetalia kink meme
part 15
hetalia kink meme
part 15
Ahh yeah that is the super duper delayed Christmas reveal for 2009 LOL...just found the time to finish it now...
clean wallpaper version HERE
clean wallpaper version HERE
Never 1/1
(Anonymous) 2010-10-31 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)***
Some people called him shy, but shy was not the right word to describe Jason Im. Afraid was a better one.
He didn’t know why he had been so afraid all his life, looking to the side instead of in people’s eyes, hyperventilating in groups of people, flinching back in terror when someone waved their hands too close to his face. It didn’t make sense, because that was how abuse victims acted, right? And never once had Jason been hit. Never.
That was why he had been so uncomfortable with the idea at first. Talking to people he didn’t know? Touching them, hell, what could probably be considered flirting with them? Nononono. Jason had never flirted with anyone in his life. (Once he had tried to talk to a pretty blonde girl in his 8th grade math class, but he had fumbled over his words and she had laughed, and even though he knew she probably wasn’t actually laughing at him he had never talked to her again.)
But for some reason he couldn’t stop thinking about the doctor he had met when he had broken a finger when it had slammed in a car door.
“Yong Soo?” the doctor had asked, but Jason had rapidly shook his head and corrected him with his American name, and the doctor had nodded. (Really Jason doubted he had to explain his reasoning to someone named Wang.) The doctor had nodded and began examining him, but had paused upon glancing at Jason’s arm.
“That’s a pretty bad scar,” he said casually. “How did you get it?”
“Hmm? Oh, I fell off a trampoline when I was younger.” It was a good lie, and most people believed Jason.
Dr. Wang had nodded and fixed up Jason’s finger, but before he left he had handed Jason a card, a business card. And on the back Dr. Wang had written South Korea.
The idea scared Jason. He knew he would be bad at it. He had never once worn traditional clothes, didn’t speak a word of Korean and for Petessake he had only eaten Korean food once and didn’t like it much, he honestly preferred Mexican food. He would be a bad Korea.
They’ll hate you. said the voice in the back of his head. They’ll all hate you, because you’re stupid and worthless and your father was right. No one will ever love you, and it’s your fault. No one loves weaklings Jason.
His father’s voice kept playing in his head, and he shook and squeezed his eyes shut and thought about reopening the scar on his arm, but no, that was just as weak, because his father had never hit him, what did he have to cut himself over. Everyone’s parent’s yelled, it wasn’t like he was abused or anything.
Nonono, Jason Im was just weak, couldn’t take the yelling like a man. He was going to end up alone, just like his father had said.
But he just kept looking at the card, and thinking about the doctor.
Yong Soo the doctor had called him. How long had it been since someone called him Yong Soo? Then a thought occurred to Jason.
Maybe Jason was weak, maybe Jason would be bad at being Korea. But maybe Yong Soo would be good at it.
It was tempting, the duality, the fantasy.
Could it be true? Could he be Korea, not Jason Im, could he have a family, an older brother who could comfort him, but no father at all to shout at him and belittle him? Could he have the confidence to be loud and obnoxious and affectionate and open?
He was afraid of the vulnerability, but temptation was too much.
So he found a cheap hanbok at a flea market and pushed back his mental soundtrack of You’reworthlessyou’restupideveryonewillleaveyounobodywilleverloveyou and went to the meeting, smile on his face, not Jason Im, not even Im Yong Soo, but South Korea.
And Korea was never afraid to talk to someone, never afraid of rejection, never afraid of being hurt. Korea never had to be afraid, because even if his family was annoyed by him, they would always love him.
Korea was never afraid.
Notes for Never
(Anonymous) 2010-10-31 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)-In my mind Korea is probably second or third generation, so he was given a traditional Korean name at birth, but goes by an American name in the western order.
-I just want to make it very clear that even though Korea claims that verbal abuse is not abuse this is not my belief, and in the story Korea’s denial of being abused is just that, denial.
Re: Never 1/1
(Anonymous) 2010-11-01 11:34 am (UTC)(link)This fill was beautiful, and it struck really close to home for me. I think you did a good job portraying just how damaging verbal abuse can be, which is amazing because it's such a short fill.
Re: Never 1/1
(Anonymous) 2011-05-20 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)For a second at the beginning, I thought Yong Soo had aspergers. (Though...I think it's maybe implied in here that he had aspergers anyway but was emotionally abused somewhat BECAUSE of it. Or had it but not so bad and it was made worse by the emotional abuse.)
In that second, I connected with him in a painfully poignant moment like I have for no other fictional character. Now I'm sad. But also happy. :')