“I’m going to ignore this abuse,” he said, after a moment of contemplating glorious obliteration. “First off, we last left with France in the lead with an amazing, record-breaking 250 dollars.”
France, twirling his hair on his finger, beamed. “I enjoy rose petals, romantic walks on the beach, and butts.”
“… Thank you. And in second place with zero dollars, we have England.”
“You slept with ‘im to get that kind of score, you frog bastard. I know it. I know these things. My PM was Winston fucking Churchill once."
Austria twitched. He cleared his throat. “And in third place, with an incredible negative 12,000 dollars, which rather explains the financial gang bang, we have America. For viewers who don’t quite remember, America managed to accrue a large amount of negative points last time, often from incorrectly answering the same question more than once.”
“Yes, we can!” cried America, throwing Vulcan hand signals into the air.
“No, you can’t,” England told him, and drank half a bottle of rum in one swallow.
IV.
“We had to stop the game last time due to unfortunate circumstances,” Austria continued doggedly. He was interrupted again by England’s acidic tongue.
“’Cause that wine bastard got naked.”
France tittered.
America said, “Yeah, but so did you.”
“Was close to Christmas, yes? Of course I did, too.”
“Austria, what’s the date today?”
“It’s not Let’s Get Naked Day,” Austria said. “Anyway, in my house, we fast for that time and we keep bundled up. Do not even think about it. If you think about it, I will let that camera keep rolling, and you will be very sorry.”
“Only on account of villainy.”
“… Yes, that’s what I said.”
V.
The game had to start. It had to, or it would never finish, and Austria would cry like a little girl. He cleared his throat unnecessarily loud and spoke above the din. “We will now skip the entire first part of the game and continue where we left off last time! Yes, that’s right, it’s Double Jeopardy. Let’s look at our categories.”
“Oooh,” said America. “Ponies.”
“The categories are: Potent Potables, Vowels, Presidents Who Are On the One Dollar Bill, Famous Titles, Ponies – yes, America, you were correct – The Number Ten, Therapists, and Foods that End in –amburger. Since you’re in the lead, the board is yours, France.”
France leaned over the podium, studying the board. “I will take… Famous Titties for 200, Austria.”
Austria looked at him.
France looked back.
“Titles,” said Austria. “Famous Titles.”
“Damn!”
England belched in a gentlemanly fashion. “Easy mistake to make.”
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
World Jeopardy: Deux Ex Machina (2/?)
(Anonymous) 2010-05-12 03:32 am (UTC)(link)“I’m going to ignore this abuse,” he said, after a moment of contemplating glorious obliteration. “First off, we last left with France in the lead with an amazing, record-breaking 250 dollars.”
France, twirling his hair on his finger, beamed. “I enjoy rose petals, romantic walks on the beach, and butts.”
“… Thank you. And in second place with zero dollars, we have England.”
“You slept with ‘im to get that kind of score, you frog bastard. I know it. I know these things. My PM was Winston fucking Churchill once."
Austria twitched. He cleared his throat. “And in third place, with an incredible negative 12,000 dollars, which rather explains the financial gang bang, we have America. For viewers who don’t quite remember, America managed to accrue a large amount of negative points last time, often from incorrectly answering the same question more than once.”
“Yes, we can!” cried America, throwing Vulcan hand signals into the air.
“No, you can’t,” England told him, and drank half a bottle of rum in one swallow.
IV.
“We had to stop the game last time due to unfortunate circumstances,” Austria continued doggedly. He was interrupted again by England’s acidic tongue.
“’Cause that wine bastard got naked.”
France tittered.
America said, “Yeah, but so did you.”
“Was close to Christmas, yes? Of course I did, too.”
“Austria, what’s the date today?”
“It’s not Let’s Get Naked Day,” Austria said. “Anyway, in my house, we fast for that time and we keep bundled up. Do not even think about it. If you think about it, I will let that camera keep rolling, and you will be very sorry.”
“Only on account of villainy.”
“… Yes, that’s what I said.”
V.
The game had to start. It had to, or it would never finish, and Austria would cry like a little girl. He cleared his throat unnecessarily loud and spoke above the din. “We will now skip the entire first part of the game and continue where we left off last time! Yes, that’s right, it’s Double Jeopardy. Let’s look at our categories.”
“Oooh,” said America. “Ponies.”
“The categories are: Potent Potables, Vowels, Presidents Who Are On the One Dollar Bill, Famous Titles, Ponies – yes, America, you were correct – The Number Ten, Therapists, and Foods that End in –amburger. Since you’re in the lead, the board is yours, France.”
France leaned over the podium, studying the board. “I will take… Famous Titties for 200, Austria.”
Austria looked at him.
France looked back.
“Titles,” said Austria. “Famous Titles.”
“Damn!”
England belched in a gentlemanly fashion. “Easy mistake to make.”
Re: World Jeopardy: Deux Ex Machina (2/?)
(Anonymous) 2010-06-11 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)