Hetalia kink meme (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hetalia_kink) wrote2011-02-26 01:33 pm
hetalia_kink) wrote2011-02-26 01:33 pm
Past Part Fills Part 2 -- CLOSED
This Past-Part Fills post is now closed to new fills.
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"Life can be difficult" 5.4/5
(Anonymous) 2010-02-17 10:18 pm (UTC)(link)“So you regret telling me of them?” Francis asked, and the dark look on her face made him regret it the moment he said it.
“No...” she said, biting her lip. “No...not really. I mean, some days. When Matty isn’t talking to anyone because you let him down again and Al is crying. But, I think, in the long run, it’s for the best. I mean, a part time father is better than no father, right?”
“You know I do my best, you expect too much of me,” Francis said, staring stubbornly at a spot on the carpet.
“I know,” she said with a sigh. “I didn’t think when I told you I was asking for much, I didn’t realise how much the boys would come to love you so quickly. How much it would hurt them when you ignored them.”
“I don’t ignore them.”
“Don’t you?” She asked. He really didn’t dare to look at her now. “You are a part time father. You phone them when it suits you but make no effort to be in when they phone you. You’re good when they’re in front of you but you seem happy to forget them when they’re not. You know, some of us don’t have the option to put our work first, to shrug of all responsibility through the hard times and only show up for the fun times.”
“That is not what I intend.”
“No, but it’s the effect. Remember when we thought Al had the flu last month? You didn’t come over then. Sure, you phoned a little more them often, but you didn’t come and see him though he was ill and I told you so.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re so irresponsible!” Apparently she was in her element now and could not be stopped. “You call me England and I don’t even know some days if you know my real name! You call me that because you say I’m like England, England personified, then I should call you France. You’re a waste of space, full of fun and promises that turn out to be empty when you’re gone. All you care about it wine and women.”
“That is not true,” Francis said, turning to face her now. “I offered to marry you!”
“How self-sacrificing of you,” she sneered. “I don’t need you. I wish...I just wish you’d show some responsibility for once. Because it’s me who’s going to be left holding two crying boys on Christmas eve because their daddy went back home before Christmas and it’s me who gets this hope every time I see you with the kids that you’ll be a good father this time and we can work things out and actually maybe function as a family but then you run of back to France and I’m all alone again.”
“I can not change my entire life...”
"Life can be difficult" 5.5/5
(Anonymous) 2010-02-17 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)She had stood up now and her face was red. He could only look upon her, knowing there could be no possible defence.
“Even through all that I never once thought to get rid of them. When I was alone with two screaming babies I never regretted having them. I put my life on hold for them so, yes, I am damn pissed of that you won’t put your experiments back a few days to spend Christmas day with your sons!”
The last was practically screamed and he could not tell if she was about to burst into tears or hit him. He was not sure she knew herself. He knew what he should say, he should tell her that he didn’t want the children, they had never been his plan, he had never agreed to them. Staying for Christmas would put his work back by years, most likely. Still, he would be lying. She had given him a choice, she had told him he could either be a father or walk away, more choice then many men were given. He could have put the experiments of if he’d planned properly in advance, and if being here for the children harmed his career it would be no more than it had done for her.
She slammed into the kitchen and he hunched in on himself, staring at a spot on the carpet. A few moments later he heard footsteps on stairs and glanced over to see two worried faces peeking through the top railings.
“It is ok,” he said, trying to sound normal. “Let us...let us put the presents under the tree, yes? Mama is just a little upset, let’s finish decorating for her.”
“I hate you,” Al screamed, then turned around and ran up the stairs. Francis felt his jaw hit the deck. That was like a punch. Al hated him? Surely not? He looked at Matty, only to see that the other boy had been crying. Matty blinked at him then followed his brother up the stairs.
He could not deal with this, he really could not. He had thought things were going well, how could he have missed his cues so completely? Should he stay or should he go? Maybe he should just go to the airport now and go back to France. Back to his wine and his women and his irresponsible attitude and pretend he never had sons. But...he knew he could not. He had apparently been an idiot but he did still very much love his sons, and unless he was mistaken he thought there was a decent chance he loved their mother too.
What could he do?
~*~*~*~
He sat frozen in indecision for nearly an hour until England came back in, wiping her eyes and apologising. He apologised too though he felt that neither of their hearts were in it. She went upstairs and tempted Al and Matty back down. Matty, red eyed, went to Francis and whispered that he was sorry, accepting the apologies Francis gave him, though Al would still not look at him. Dinner was subdued and Francis could not think for the life of him how to inject some spirit into the occasion. They carried the gifts down but there was no festivity, Matty clung to his hand until bedtime, when Al still refused to talk to him. England excused herself quickly and left him on the couch with his thoughts.
~*~*~*~
"Life can be difficult" 5.6/5
(Anonymous) 2010-02-17 10:20 pm (UTC)(link)Matty had looked oddly resigned at the compromise, clinging to him silently all day, and as England and Al had both still been very angry at him the mood had been heavy. He’d felt stifled, suffocated. Though he knew he shouldn’t he could not help but count down the minutes until he’d be free of that toxic atmosphere.
Then suddenly the taxi had been there to take him to the airport and Matty had been sobbing in his arms, begging him not to go until he’d given in and run away. England stayed in the kitchen and Al stayed in his room, and once Matty had run there was nobody to wave goodbye to Francis as his taxi pulled away.
He had told her he needed time to think, and he had done nothing but think since he left their house which resulted in him being deeply unhappy now. He did not want to think that he had been letting his children down, that he had been putting himself above them, but he knew that he had. He knew Matty and Al needed him and that he had been compromising them so he could continue to live the life he had lived before.
He did not want the responsibility of being a father.
But when he thought of Matty and Al, their lovely grinning faces, he could not help but want to be their father. To be there for their grazed knees and first loves and everything else between and after.
When he thought about their mother, he could not help but wish it was different from them. When she had yelled she had talked about them being family again, he knew he would like that. He knew it yet it scared him. He had offered to marry her, yes, in panic. Still, was there a chance he could want that kind of relationship when he was calm and rational?
He was neither of those things now.
Searching for a distraction he got up and paced the flat until he noticed the message light flashing on his answering machine. The first two messages were from two different women with who he’d promised to spend what he had of Christmas day and Christmas eve. Truly, he was the worst man ever.
The third message shocked him.
“I love you!”
As clear as day and said with a deep conviction.
“I love you. I love you. I love you!”
Al. Al’s voice. The last thing he would expect. In fact, that last thing al had said to him that was not a response to a direct question had been the opposite of that.
“I’m sorry I said I hate you. I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“I love you too!” Matty interrupted, his voice softer, and then the recording was full of his two boys, he wonderful beautiful sons, saying I love you over and over again. Francis found tears running down his cheeks. What was he doing? He was in France on Christmas eve and he had left his children in anger. His beautiful, wonderful children and he loved them. He needed to say it to them and quickly.
The tape ended and he found himself sobbing. What a mess he was making of all of their lives. England was right; they could not go on like this.
~*~*~*~
"Life can be difficult" 5.7/5
(Anonymous) 2010-02-17 10:22 pm (UTC)(link)“I love you too, Al,” he said, trying to put all the force of his conviction into it, for he did love him. “I love you very much.”
“Francis!” He looked up and smiled to see England stood on the doorway to the kitchen gaping at him. He released Al and stood. He was aware he probably looked...well travelled. Booking flights at the last minute had been impossible so he had come by train, sleeping when he could in the uncomfortable train seats and arriving as quickly as modern transport would allow. “You weren’t going to be...I thought...”
“I know, but I realised that some things in life are too important to miss,” he said, though he knew it sounded cheesy. As far as he was concerned, he was exhausted and it was Christmas so he could be as cheesy as he liked. He walked into the house, dropped his bag, took the battered sprig of mistletoe he’d bought in France from his pocket to hold over her head and kissed her on the cheek before hugging her tightly. She hugged him too, though she still seemed a little shocked. “Merry Christmas, Elisabeth Kirkland”.
Then Matty was running down the stairs too and he dropped the mistletoe to turn and sweep his other son up into his arms, then Al was clinging to his leg and he was home.
END
"Life can be difficult" EPILOGUE
(Anonymous) 2010-02-17 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)“Thank god they’re finally asleep,” Francis said, collapsing onto the couch. He could barely even move his hand to pick up his wine glass, but he found the energy somehow. England cast him a scathing glance before moving to sit next to him.
“So, what now?” she said.
“Now?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow at her and leering. She kicked his ankle quickly.
“Not that you pervert!” she said, crossing her arms. “I mean, well, it’s nice that you came back today but when about tomorrow?”
“Well, in the new year I shall have to return to France to try and salvage what data I can,” Francis said with a sign. “Then I think it would be best if I were to look for work in England, the closer to here the better. You are right, the boys are more important than anything else.”
“Glad you realised that,” she mumbled. “So, you’re moving to England?”
“Yes,” Francis said, taking a sip of his wine. “I’d rather been hoping that you would allow me to stay here while I looked for work and a place of my own.”
“I’m sure that’s fine,” she said, then her cheeks bean to colour slightly and he smiled.
“Francis...”
“Yes my love?”
“Do you still have that mistletoe?”
“I believe it is on the table next to you.”
She leant over and retrieved the battered plant, contemplated it for a second, then threw in on the floor, leant forward and kissed him. It was an oddly chaste kiss for a pair whose four year old sons slumbered upstairs but it was wonderful all the same.
“Will you go to bed with me?” she asked against his lips.
“I thought that you would never ask.”
END
Thanks again for reading, everyone!
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(Anonymous) 2010-02-18 09:19 am (UTC)(link)*applauds*
Re: "Life can be difficult" EPILOGUE
(Anonymous) 2010-02-18 04:39 pm (UTC)(link)Re: "Life can be difficult" EPILOGUE
(Anonymous) 2010-02-19 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)I'm sorry but that's the most coherent comment I'm capable of making right now.
I mean. WOW. I. It's so realistically written. (I love your style authoranon!) And the characterizations are perfect. And the fact we didn't get to learn England's name until the very end. And the message the boys left for Francis. It almost made me cry /BAWWS
Loved it. ♥
I sort of wish there was more but on the other hand the story just feels perfectly complete. Thank you for this fill! Definitely one of my favourite AU FrUK stories!
haha captcha: million weekday. yes captcha, Francis is going to spend a lot of time with his family now. ♥
Re: "Life can be difficult" EPILOGUE
(Anonymous) 2010-02-20 01:20 am (UTC)(link)There are no words to describe how I feel about this piece of work. I damn cried</> near the end of chapter five. ;_____;
It was so beautifully written and the setting was flat out belivable and realistic. I loved the portrayl of the two kids. They totally acted the way that I thought they would... And Francis... Oh gosh. It was absolutely amazing. It's at times like these where I'm proud that my OTP is France/Fem!England. But seriously... It's been so long since i've read something like this.