“Arthur? Are you okay? How are you feeling? Do you know who I am?” he asked, his voice was edged with slight panic despite his calm outward appearance.
Arthur groaned and managed to pull himself up into a sitting position. It was easier to look at Alfred this way. “Of course I know who you are,” he muttered. “Get me something to drink.”
Alfred laughed, relaxing. The sound was oddly solid; the only first real sound that did not feel like an illusion. “Only just awake and ordering me about already? You’re definitely Arthur!”
“Git,” he muttered. That word sounded so strange to him. When was the last time he had used it? It could have been centuries ago.
Alfred only smiled and looked at him with an expression he could not quite place. The force of that gaze however tender it was only made Arthur squirm.
“W – What?”
“Nothing,” Alfred said and his smile widened.
“Idiot,” Arthur frowned at him, except that his frown was the wrong way around.
XX
“She didn’t deserve a royal funeral. She doesn’t even deserve those flowers!” Alfred glared at the gravestone overshadowed by weeping willows. The stone statue of an angel above the polished slab seemed in bad taste to him.
Arthur gave him an understanding look as he knelt down to place lilies on the grave. When he rose again the sun flashed across his eyes, blinding him for just a second. It was too bright and warm of a day to be spending with the dead.
“It feels like a dream,” Arthur murmured.
The wind carried the scent of yesterday on it, brushing past them as if to beckon them towards the future. Such a nostalgic smell made his head swim, the patterns of sunlight through the weeping willows were like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle scattered over the field; a kaleidoscope of light.
“It’s not a dream, Arthur!” Alfred perked up. Rushing out of the shade of the willows he spread his arms wide like a child, as if he could embrace both the sun and sky. “Smell that fresh air! It’s the start of great new things!”
Arthur frowned at him but followed him. “You’re so optimistic. My economy is shot,” he muttered.
“Don’t worry, I’ll help you out!” Alfred thumped his chest. “Besides, sometimes stuff like this has to happen so that new things can grow.”
“I don’t trust your loans anymore,” Arthur shook his head, only half joking.
“How mean! I won’t suddenly ask for a total repayment, I promise!”
“Who can believe the things that you say?” he retorted.
Without warning, Alfred flung himself on top of Arthur, almost toppling them both. “You’re so cruel, Arthur! And I nursed you so lovingly these six years! Six years whilst you were bat-shit crazy!” he cried, trying to hide the fact that even mentioning it brought back unwelcome memories.
“...I know,” Arthur shoved him off, growing pensive as he thought about the time that he had passed in a half-conscious state of insanity.
Even though it seemed a dream, he distinctly remembered the touch of a cool hand against his head and the presence of someone sitting by his side, always there to keep him company no matter how badly he cursed and screamed.
Arthur turned his back to Alfred so that he would not see the faint blush warming his cheeks as he muttered something under his breath.
“What was that?” Alfred stepped closer.
“I know,” Arthur said. “Even though I can’t really remember it very well, I remember feeling as though I was lost somewhere in a deep, dark place. I couldn’t find the way out no matter how hard I tried but then...well, you found me and lead me out of that place so...so...thank you...I guess.”
“You guess?”
Annoyed that Alfred was making him say it out loud, he took a deep breath and stiffly bellowed; “Thank - ”
“Arthur,” Alfred suddenly cut him off as he collided into his back, arresting his arms by wrapping himself around him.
“W – What?” Arthur tried to catch a glimpse of his face.
Alfred’s breath tickled the back of his neck. He hugged him tighter, pressing his chest against Arthur’s back.
“Welcome back.”
For a moment Arthur was at loss for words. Then, slowly, he managed to worm himself around to look Alfred, nestling against his warm chest. Arthur closed eyes with what felt like contentment.
Matthew stood outside Alfred’s manor house. He was sure that this was the place Alfred had mentioned when he had called him but...he had been ringing the bell for three hours and no one had opened the door for him.
Had they all gone out? Were they asleep? Were they too busy looking after Arthur, who he had heard was in a bad shape, that they had failed to hear him ring?
He should go. If they were not going to open up then there was no point of being there. He was worried about Arthur but there was nothing he could do if no one was answering; he should just go back to Canada.
Heaving a sigh, Matthew rang the bell again.
Looks like someone forgot to tell him that they were moving to London. Thank you anons for reading and sticking with this fic to the end despite the lack of fluff!
I just read the whole thing and there is nothing i can really say other than... it was freaking awesome and perfect.
beautiful, and touching, and strong, and the descriptions, the feeling, the pain that came from every piece, arthur's pain, but also alfred, and how the fleeting appearance of the other nations popping up, with yao, and then the queen and then the civil war...
I can't believe that it's really over. I love this fic so much! Thank you Anon!!!
I seriously loved each and every part. I love the transition of Arthur moods, how he started off horribly broken and then slowly went insane. I love the relationship between Alfred and Arthur. ♥
I seriously started to cry, tears of joy, at the part when Alfred said "Welcome back" and Arthur replied "...I'm back." That just left such a happy feeling inside of me.
MARRY ME ANON! ;^;
... I'm going to go reread this over and over now.
Oh Anon...Marry me. Please. Right here. Right now. IDENTITIES MEAN LITTLE IN THE FACE OF LOVE LIKE MINE! This story was so fantastic. And it went to a place I couldn't think of and turned the world, or at least England, upside down and then righted it again and the ending was perfect. Gorgeous. Wonderful. Everything I expected from you and more. (And the omake made me laugh too. XD Poor, poor Matthew...)
SERIOUSLY ANON. MARRY ME. NOW. I CAN GET THE WEDDING RINGS, I CAN BAKE REALLY WELL SO THE CAKE'S NO ISSUE AND I CAN COOK. SO YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO COOK AGAIN. I'LL BE A DEVOTED HOUSEWIFE WHO WILL WORSHIP YOU. MARRY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Magnificent, Anon. I'm slightly distracted from the things I want to say by poor Matthew in Omake 2 (I admit that I also forgot Alfred had said he was on the way...).
I'm so impressed by all the thought that obviously went into this, the philosophies upon which the story was built as well as the very engaging narrative itself. I read most of this in one sitting just now and I have to say that, unlike some other anons, I was not surprised that the Queen was behind it--but I don't credit myself for that, I credit you for leading me masterfully in that direction.
Part-way through, as soon as the protests heralding civil war appeared, I got a few lines of a poem stuck in my head. I don't know if they were in yours as you were writing this, but I dug around the internet in order to be able to quote correctly (courtesy of the Victorian Web):
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and though We are not now that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. - Tennyson, "Ulysses"
On that note (and before I get emo), I thank you, Anon.
Read everything in one sitting! This jumped to being one of my favorites on the meme. Everything about it is so perfect: the plot, the logic, the characterizations. I love you author!anon!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: If you find me...[28b/28]
(Anonymous) 2009-05-26 10:22 pm (UTC)(link)Arthur groaned and managed to pull himself up into a sitting position. It was easier to look at Alfred this way. “Of course I know who you are,” he muttered. “Get me something to drink.”
Alfred laughed, relaxing. The sound was oddly solid; the only first real sound that did not feel like an illusion. “Only just awake and ordering me about already? You’re definitely Arthur!”
“Git,” he muttered. That word sounded so strange to him. When was the last time he had used it? It could have been centuries ago.
Alfred only smiled and looked at him with an expression he could not quite place. The force of that gaze however tender it was only made Arthur squirm.
“W – What?”
“Nothing,” Alfred said and his smile widened.
“Idiot,” Arthur frowned at him, except that his frown was the wrong way around.
XX
“She didn’t deserve a royal funeral. She doesn’t even deserve those flowers!” Alfred glared at the gravestone overshadowed by weeping willows. The stone statue of an angel above the polished slab seemed in bad taste to him.
Arthur gave him an understanding look as he knelt down to place lilies on the grave. When he rose again the sun flashed across his eyes, blinding him for just a second. It was too bright and warm of a day to be spending with the dead.
“It feels like a dream,” Arthur murmured.
The wind carried the scent of yesterday on it, brushing past them as if to beckon them towards the future. Such a nostalgic smell made his head swim, the patterns of sunlight through the weeping willows were like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle scattered over the field; a kaleidoscope of light.
“It’s not a dream, Arthur!” Alfred perked up. Rushing out of the shade of the willows he spread his arms wide like a child, as if he could embrace both the sun and sky. “Smell that fresh air! It’s the start of great new things!”
Arthur frowned at him but followed him. “You’re so optimistic. My economy is shot,” he muttered.
“Don’t worry, I’ll help you out!” Alfred thumped his chest. “Besides, sometimes stuff like this has to happen so that new things can grow.”
“I don’t trust your loans anymore,” Arthur shook his head, only half joking.
“How mean! I won’t suddenly ask for a total repayment, I promise!”
“Who can believe the things that you say?” he retorted.
Without warning, Alfred flung himself on top of Arthur, almost toppling them both. “You’re so cruel, Arthur! And I nursed you so lovingly these six years! Six years whilst you were bat-shit crazy!” he cried, trying to hide the fact that even mentioning it brought back unwelcome memories.
“...I know,” Arthur shoved him off, growing pensive as he thought about the time that he had passed in a half-conscious state of insanity.
Even though it seemed a dream, he distinctly remembered the touch of a cool hand against his head and the presence of someone sitting by his side, always there to keep him company no matter how badly he cursed and screamed.
Arthur turned his back to Alfred so that he would not see the faint blush warming his cheeks as he muttered something under his breath.
“What was that?” Alfred stepped closer.
“I know,” Arthur said. “Even though I can’t really remember it very well, I remember feeling as though I was lost somewhere in a deep, dark place. I couldn’t find the way out no matter how hard I tried but then...well, you found me and lead me out of that place so...so...thank you...I guess.”
“You guess?”
Annoyed that Alfred was making him say it out loud, he took a deep breath and stiffly bellowed; “Thank - ”
“Arthur,” Alfred suddenly cut him off as he collided into his back, arresting his arms by wrapping himself around him.
“W – What?” Arthur tried to catch a glimpse of his face.
Alfred’s breath tickled the back of his neck. He hugged him tighter, pressing his chest against Arthur’s back.
“Welcome back.”
For a moment Arthur was at loss for words. Then, slowly, he managed to worm himself around to look Alfred, nestling against his warm chest. Arthur closed eyes with what felt like contentment.
“...I’m back.”
Re: If you find me...[Omake]
(Anonymous) 2009-05-26 10:26 pm (UTC)(link)“Alfred.”
“Yes, Arthur?”
“What the bloody hell did you do to my house?”
“...Ah.”
Omake 2
Matthew stood outside Alfred’s manor house. He was sure that this was the place Alfred had mentioned when he had called him but...he had been ringing the bell for three hours and no one had opened the door for him.
Had they all gone out? Were they asleep? Were they too busy looking after Arthur, who he had heard was in a bad shape, that they had failed to hear him ring?
He should go. If they were not going to open up then there was no point of being there. He was worried about Arthur but there was nothing he could do if no one was answering; he should just go back to Canada.
Heaving a sigh, Matthew rang the bell again.
Looks like someone forgot to tell him that they were moving to London. Thank you anons for reading and sticking with this fic to the end despite the lack of fluff!
Re: If you find me...[Omake]
(Anonymous) 2009-05-26 10:56 pm (UTC)(link)beautiful, and touching, and strong, and the descriptions, the feeling, the pain that came from every piece, arthur's pain, but also alfred, and how the fleeting appearance of the other nations popping up, with yao, and then the queen and then the civil war...
it was painfully raw and just beautiful. wow.
OP
(Anonymous) 2009-05-26 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)I seriously loved each and every part. I love the transition of Arthur moods, how he started off horribly broken and then slowly went insane. I love the relationship between Alfred and Arthur. ♥
I seriously started to cry, tears of joy, at the part when Alfred said "Welcome back" and Arthur replied "...I'm back." That just left such a happy feeling inside of me.
MARRY ME ANON! ;^;
... I'm going to go reread this over and over now.
Re: If you find me...[Omake]
(Anonymous) 2009-05-26 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)The whole of it was wonderful, but the ending was marvelous.
Re: If you find me...[Omake]
(Anonymous) 2009-05-27 01:32 am (UTC)(link)This is just wonderful, author!anon. :D
I'm sad this has come to an end. :/
Re: If you find me...[Omake]
(Anonymous) 2009-05-27 04:24 am (UTC)(link)That was marvelous, really! I love you so much for doing this!! &hearts&hearts&hearts&hearts&hearts&hearts&hearts&hearts
Re: If you find me...[Omake]
(Anonymous) 2009-05-27 04:30 am (UTC)(link)SERIOUSLY ANON. MARRY ME. NOW. I CAN GET THE WEDDING RINGS, I CAN BAKE REALLY WELL SO THE CAKE'S NO ISSUE AND I CAN COOK. SO YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO COOK AGAIN. I'LL BE A DEVOTED HOUSEWIFE WHO WILL WORSHIP YOU. MARRY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Re: If you find me...[Omake]
(Anonymous) 2009-05-27 08:48 pm (UTC)(link)I'm so impressed by all the thought that obviously went into this, the philosophies upon which the story was built as well as the very engaging narrative itself. I read most of this in one sitting just now and I have to say that, unlike some other anons, I was not surprised that the Queen was behind it--but I don't credit myself for that, I credit you for leading me masterfully in that direction.
Part-way through, as soon as the protests heralding civil war appeared, I got a few lines of a poem stuck in my head. I don't know if they were in yours as you were writing this, but I dug around the internet in order to be able to quote correctly (courtesy of the Victorian Web):
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
- Tennyson, "Ulysses"
On that note (and before I get emo), I thank you, Anon.
Re: If you find me...[Omake]
(Anonymous) 2009-05-28 02:33 am (UTC)(link)running trudy
(Anonymous) 2009-05-28 03:01 am (UTC)(link)Writer! Anon your brilliant!!
Re: If you find me...[Omake]
(Anonymous) 2009-05-28 08:42 am (UTC)(link)This jumped to being one of my favorites on the meme. Everything about it is so perfect: the plot, the logic, the characterizations. I love you author!anon!