hetalia_kink | HETALIA KINK MEME PART 2

"Dollis Hill Loop, then."

"Going to Caledonian Road and invoking the Maelberg Variance."

"Damn it all--very well, Lipman's Rules, connect to Lydiate Ash. That shuts off southbound to you, Alfred."

"I, uh, I knew that--"

"Great Portland Street." Austria sounded bored.

"Hey, isn't it my turn?"

Matthew winced. "You can't have a turn right after a reverse Spielman's Maneuver to the M5, Alfred."

"…Um. Oh. Uh, right, right…"

"Anyway, I'll take Regent's Park."

England glanced at him. "Shuttling, or a transfer?"

"Oh, uh--a transfer, I guess, but isn't Regent's Park part of the Mudchute right now?"

Arthur checked his watch. "It's after eleven o'clock."

"Oh." Canada looked crestfallen. "I forgot the escalators shut off early on Sundays."

"You can change it, if you like…?"

"No, it's okay, it was my mistake…"

"How come he gets to change a bad move, and I don't?" Alfred demanded.

"Because you'll only change to another bad move," England growled. "Brockeridge Common. Now it's your turn."

Alfred picked a spot on the map at random. "Croome Court."

"Bradlfettntandler," Austria muttered under his breath. "Camden Town."

"Wait," Canada protested. "You can't--"

"Yes, he can," England sighed. "Too fucking clever use of the Offside Rule. I think he's got us."

"The Austrian team swept the 2007 intermediate championship in Venice." Roderich adjusted his glasses.

Canada sighed. "The only move I have to intercept is Baker Street, but I won't get there fast enough."

"No, and I can't even get back to the Thames without losing half my tokens in the Drayton Park rush. Alfred?"

The American rubbed a hand through his hair. "I give up."

"Well, in that case--Mornington Crescent," Austria concluded, and rose from his chair.

England looked up at him. "Enough for you, then?"

"I think I'll retire on a high note. If you will all excuse me." He sketched a bow and headed for the door. Matthew and Arthur stood as well.

"Thanks for letting me play," Matthew offered, a bit shyly. "I know I'm not as good as the two of you, but--"

England clapped him on the shoulder as he headed past towards the stairs. "Nonsense, my boy. It's just a matter of practice. We'll have you at the plus-five range on the Hughes scale in no time." They shared a laugh. England's eyes narrowed as he glanced back at America, who still sat hunched over the map, his head braced in his hands. "As for your brother…I think it may take a bit more than practice."

Then it was just Matthew and Alfred left in the living room.

A few seconds passed, and then Canada went to America's side and gave him a quick hug. Alfred blinked up at him in surprise. "Um?"

Matthew grinned at him. "Cheer up, eh?"

Alfred frowned, pulled off his glasses, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "'S a stupid game anyway," he mumbled.

Another hug. "You know, you're really not such a horrible brother to have. I mean, you're not too bright, and you're really stubborn, but…there's been some laughs, too."

America didn't have the faintest idea what Canada was talking about, but he managed, "Um, Matthew? Do you think you could teach me how to play the game right, some time?"

An undignified giggle bubbled past his lips. "Yeah. Sure thing, Alfred. I'll, uh. I'll start you off on Tudor Court Rules."

_{Anon apologizes to all the non-British readers. Anon also apologizes to all the British readers, since anon is not British and therefore no doubt misrepresented some of the more subtle facets of the game.}

I have to agree with Arthur here, they do seem to be playing an incredibly simplistic variation so America has no right to complain. Still, a solid game from Britain and the typically tactical Austrian. Though, if I'm not mistaken, Canada gave up two parallels and a block there by not pushing on Regent's -- but by his own admission he does need more practice.

I love you for this, seriously ♥ Excellent use of M5 roadworks and Sunday closures! I haven't seen such vigorous diagonals since the Lyttelton title defence of '54. Ironic, really.

I'm thinking China would pwn Alfred at Mao, frustrating him further.

Writer!anon will have you know that she is American.

_{There's no excuse for our team's consistently abysmal showing in the international tournaments, and honestly I find your dismissiveness towards this 'crazy foreign sport' to be somewhat dismaying. Mornington Crescent is more than just a game, it's a gesture of goodwill and cooperation, like the Olympics or the World Cup. I myself only play Crescent as a hobby, but it saddens me that I never even heard about the game until so late in life that I'll never be able to master it.}

This Canadanon has no idea what just happened and totally sympathizes with America, really.

But uh, woot for Canada?

An excellent fic anon writer. Their reactions to America's game play was nothing short of amusing ♥

(Canada and Austria were the first countries that came to mind when I trawled for "could keep a straight face" and "would fuck with America just for kicks." But now I want to write more fics where Canada is lying outrageously to America, because America just does not see that shit coming.)

Some bold moves by England there - it's a pity he moved to Brockeridge Common so quickly, if he'd have held perhaps Austria would've been forced to use the double-back cross strategy. But I suppose we must let others win at the noble sport sometimes.

_{also this is the best fic on the entire meme, thank you requester!anon, and especially writer!anon, you are amazing. <3}

Beautiful. Honestly the best written rendition of the glorious game that I've ever seen. Of course, nothing really beats experiencing the atmosphere of a game first-hand, but you've captured so well the tension of an uninterrupted circuit (even despite America's disrupting influence) and the sense of inevitability when you realise that you've lost. Those tricky Austrians.

Thank you so much, anon! You have filled my quota for baffled!America most satisfactorily.

Anons.

Until I used The Google I was completely and utterly fooled.

fuuuuuuck, i will follow my country into the Special Retard Club. seriously, i can't believe this

orz orz orz orz

yep, I'm with America. Screw this shit I'm sticking to monopoly.

Chairman Humph would be proud.

*salutes anon*

Americanon looked up the game beforehand and sniggered through the fic. Quite a display of sportsmanship. *sniggers some more*

If Arthur would care to check his post, I believe he would find a letter from a Mrs Trellis of North Wales.

I fucking love you. Best. fic. ever.

Aussie!anon regrets not reading the article before reading this, never been so terribly confused in my life. I sympathise with Alfred here ;_;

::tuts:: Honestly America, the game Pennsylvania Avenue is really quite similar to Morning Crescent. As an American I'm ashamed.

HETALIA KINK MEME PART 2

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OP

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