hetalia_kink | Hetalia Kink meme part 15

(This is a model request. Please follow this format when requesting yourself: Pairing/character(s) and kink/prompt in subject line, BRIEF elaboration in message -- stay under 200 words and 3 bonuses. Historical background or definition of words, which can be removed without changing the prompt itself, won't count toward the limit.)

I'm requesting something humorous involving the above. Doesn't have to have smut, but smut would be nice.

In 1788, one of the most stupid events in military history took place: the Battle of Karansebes. Basically the Austrian army got drunk and started shooting each other. And then trampled over their fellow soldiers while escaping from the imaginary Turkish army. Which is pretty stupid, if you ask me.

I'd love to see some cracky/humorous take on this. Maybe Prussia laughing his (awesome) ass off? Maybe Turkey remembering the lameness of the Austrian army? I don't know, I just want something funny.

More info here: http://www.cracked.com/article_17123_5-most-retarded-wars-ever-fought.html Check #3.

Request somewhat based on this fancomic: http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=big&illust_id=12114722

The Netherlands (and the UK) lost a lot of money when the banks in Iceland collapsed.

The other Nordics notice something odd - when England harasses Iceland about the money, they'll usually just end up bitching at one another until someone storms off/hangs up - but when the Netherlands does it, Iceland is utterly petrified, avoids him as much as possible, won't talk to him without other people around, etc., and gets increasingly upset/clingy/paranoid as it continues. This baffling behavior sparks off a Great Nordic Investigation, which eventually succeeds in making him talk.

The explanation is much worse than they could have imagined. As a child, Iceland was so androgynous that he was frequently mistaken for a little girl, and the Netherlands - who has a thing for little girls - molested him before actually realizing he was a boy.

Bonus: Part of the reason Iceland doesn't want to tell anyone what happened is because he's afraid he'll be accused of making it up to get out of paying his debt and/or told it wasn't a big deal because he hadn't actually been raped.

*purchases some prime real estate in Hell*

Anon recently had the great pleasure of watching the movie Secret of Kells. It takes place in ninth century Ireland, revolving around the creation of the Book of Kells, a young boy and a fairy he meets in the forest, all while the threat of the vikings hangs over Ireland.

Naturally this got anon hungering for some Ireland fic during this time period and Denmark/Ireland is a fave rarepair.

So something either based off the film or a fic set during the period of viking raids would be awesome :D (girl!Ireland is preferred, but male is okay).

Requesting some modern Germany/France! Smut appreciated, but anything else domestic is welcome XD e.g. a couple's spat, making breakfast etc.

Bonus: Calling each other Frankreich and Allemagne

Anon would love to see Sufin based on the disney version, though in the general sense. Like instead of Finland staying to save his father, he stays to save his friend Estonia.
It starts out a bit rough and sweden doesn't seem to realize how badly he scares finland but the others in his castle help him out.

Bonus 1: The rest of the Nordics and Sealand show up
Bonus 2: Russia is Gaston and wants Finland to become one with him

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolpertinger

During the Oktoberfest, Prussia, after some beer, goes to see the Wolpertinger.

Bonus: together with France and Spain.
Bonus 2: Bavaria. He exists and give him a little love too.

Violent battle field rape on both sides, periods of loving and all around screaming matches: The 100 Years War.

Basically asking for smut, but anything and everything else would be wonderful!

http://www.britishbattles.com/100-years-war/crecy.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Agincourt

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Formigny

Bonus: During one attempted invasions, the English King designed a flag for when he was king of both countries, as an insult. A combination of the English Lions and French Fleur-de-Lis. Just a fleeting mention?

So maybe it's a few days late.. but I'd like to see something about the World Equestrian Games.

Anything goes, really.

America's super strength is forgotten in a lot of fics.

That one part where he picks up a buffalo and twirls it over his head? I'd like to see him do that, only with Russia instead.

Thanks, anons!

I'd like to see something where Kumajirou's animal instinct takes over and he ends up mating with Canako. I'd like it to start with dub-con, where Canako is turned on but disturbed because he's an animal, but eventually she gives into the pleasure.

Bonus: According to Wikipedia when polar bears mate "Partners stay together and mate repeatedly for an entire week." So yeah.

Annoyed that yet again England hasn't come to his birthday party, America goes looking for him...
Only to find England in agonising pain that lasts the whole of the 4th of July but stops the moment it becomes the 5th.
England refuses to explain but when America does some digging he discovers that this is something that happens to all ex-colonisers on the anniversaries of their colonies' independence. Their colonies leaving feels like they're having bits of themselves amputated.
The next anniversary of an independence, America shows up and major comforting ensues.

Bonus: The reason England never told America is because he doesn't want to spoil his birthday.
Bonus2: Other ex-colonies find out, having never been told about this before.

Alright.

I would like to make a Spain/Austria request (in that order) with a modern setting, and in some situation they end up talking about their Habsburg history.

Now, because this is a kink meme and there is the chance of smut, this anon likes:
-Very vocal sex.
-Slapping/spanking.
-Strangling( /breathplay, but I prefer the more "hands on" approach ;> ).

Why, you ask? Because USUK gets all the good kinks. Lol.

(I was 99.8% sure that Taiwan was voiced by the same va as Winry Rockbell but wiki says it is Seychelles. But I like Taiwan more so Taiwan it is.)

A sweet moment with Switzerland admiring Taiwan from afar at a World Metting or whatever. Cute and awkward Switzerland PLEASE.

Bonus: If Austria catches him and Switz denies it. But being his former best friend, Austria knows better than what Switzerland shows.

I'd like to see something about a nation's small pleasures that don't have to do with their relationships. For example, maybe how much England enjoys a quiet cup of tea, or Prussia petting Gilbird or something. Doesn't have to be those, of course. Any character. Multi-fills are wonderful and totally short is fine.

Italy is a pretty confident guy, but there's one thing that he's really insecure about - his phimosis. Italy keeps initiating things with Germany, but backing off when they get too close to sex. Germany thinks he's doing something wrong, and eventually works up the courage to ask about it. Italy tells him about his insecurity, and he assures Italy that he doesn't care and helps him seek treatment (which he's been too embarrassed to do).

Bonus: One way to treat it is to manually stretch the foreskin every day. Italy decides to treat it this way and makes Germany help him.
Bonus 2: Italy's phimosis came about from scarring from forced retraction of the foreskin as a child. How that happened is up to anon. Maybe from a failed attempt at sex with HRE? Anyway, the memory adds to his insecurity.

For a long time, Venice was a driving force and a superpower in the Mediterranean -sometimes trying to subtly "seduce" the other countries to its side, sometimes harshly fighting - you can probably guess I'd like to see a bit more of the first thought. It was also a very free place, a haven for people prosecuted by the Inquisition, very sexually liberated, etc.

Basically, I want badass, sexy Venice!Italy. If there's smut, I'd prefer no shota, but teen!Italy is very welcome. But - here's the trick - he has to remain at least somewhat in character.

Bonus the first: OTTOMAN TURKEY/VENICE ITALY. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT.
Bonus the second: fighting over Greece, and Greece shows to prefer Turkey sometimes, and Venice some other times ~~but overall would just prefer them both to leave him the fuck alone~~

US x UK involving stripping please!

- Accidentally mistaken as strippers, and go along with it
- Having to strip off their clothes unwilling (for national security, clothes were ruined, etc)

Anon is requesting embarrassed nudity

Bonus is there are embarrassing undergarments and teasing.

No established please.

Sex doesn't have to happen (but it's very welcome :D)

I think the only person England can be happy with is... himself. And his imagination. So, I'd like to see him fall in love with one of his little friends.

Bonus: The creature he falls in love with is the one that inspires him to keep cooking even though everyone tells him his cooking is awful. The creature loves his cooking.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pamgat1Wro
actual bros, notactualbros but the relationship has felt like bros, female and male with bro-like relationship
do with it what you will
JUST NEEDS MORE BROS, KINK MEME

Spain introduces Mexico to Romano and finds out her history with tomatoes! Anything after that is open; I just want Mexico to be a girl. Romano flipping out and try to win her heart over after that point would be great.

Bonus: Since Spain had a big influence on Mexico, she is oblivous to Romano's advances (at first?).

If this helps: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomato lol

Kinks are whipped cream being involved in the food!sex, and established relationship + fluff?

In may 1940, the United Kingdom invaded the neutral Iceland to prevent the Reich from taking it. The actions were in charge of the Royal Navy, the Royal Marines and a Canadian task force.

Surprisingly enough, in July 1941 (six months before Pearl Harbor) the United States disembarked on Iceland to relieved the British forces. Yes, they occupied and nation to support England while still being officially non-belligerent. They stayed there until the end of the war.

Alfred convinces his government to intervene in the war to help Arthur. I'd love to see some England/America/Canada action, not necessarily romantic (though I would not complain if the filler wants to go that way) and the dynamics between them: Canada's bravery and loyalty, America's doubts regarding the war, England's exhaustion (the Blitz happened between 6 September 1940 and 10 May 1941, by the way), you get the idea.

Useful links: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invasion_of_Iceland

Basically I want to see Alfred as the student with the drunken and abusive father and missing mother. He however hides that fact from everybody (except his best friend Ludwig or Ivan) with his canon!personality and his honor roll student status.

Arthur on the other hand can be a "delinquent" whose family also isn't the greatest, but much less worse then Alfred's family. He acts out, but isn't expel/suspended because he's also one of the brightest student the school has. He finds Alfred annoying because he keeps trying to befriend Arthur and because Arthur has a huge crush on Alfred.

Then one day Alfred finds Arthur passed out on the street or sick or something and having no choice but to bring him home. Arthur wakes up and sees a scene with Alfred getting physically and emotionally abused by his father. Alfred sees that Arthur saw the scene but acts like there's nothing wrong with the situation. However eventually, it gets all too much for him and he breaks down or something.

Eventually they begin a friendship that evolves into something much more.

Bounus 1: Alfred detest alcohol because he's reminded of what alcohol did to his family.
Bonus 2: Arthur, after seeing Alfred's family, sees that his own family isn't so bad and reforms, shocking everybody
Bonus 3: Matthew, Ivan, and Ludwig are Alfred's close friends and they find out about his home life too.

I'll go with my headcanon so I wish for Canada to masturbate by touching his curl alone.

Bonus: Someone (Nation A) is watching
Bonus 2: Canada screams someone else's name
Bonus3: That someone else is General Winter.

(frozen comment) Rome/Germania -- Goats

Austria, Military crack

Netherlands/Iceland - molestation

Denmark/Ireland - Secret of Kells

Germany/France - EU husband and wife

Sweden/Finland - Beauty & The Beast

Prussia - The Wolpertinger

FrUk - 100 Years War

Anyone/Anyone - FEI WEG

America, Russia - Super strength

Kumajirou/Fem!Canada - Bestiality