hetalia_kink | Hetalia Kink meme part 14 -- CLOSED

Awww, this is so cute! Ivan is adorable, in his primitive-man grumbling about his partner being 'his' XD (though what's wrong with that waitress, it's not just one grogeous man, it's two gorgoeus men and they are together...*wipes drool*)
Also, the last bit was incredibly sexy and hot and UNF. I'm looking forward to the sex a lot, if those are your sex writing abilites ;)

Ivan welcomed the caterpillar metamorphism in his digestive system that came with the kiss on his cheek.
What the hell's up with this awesome sentence? xDDDDDDDDDDD

Also she might consider purchasing eyes drops for how often she was fluttering her eyes. This way she could remove what ever was causing the unsightly muscle spasm.

Oh, Ivan. I love him and his inner out-loud monologueXD

Ivan sighed, “Alfred fails to comprehend his own powers of seduction. Woe is me.”
Pfff, this line uttered out loud is brilliantXD. I also love that he refers to his partner in the third person. That's too cute! ^^

Now Alfred was doing his own impersonation of a puppy, and it was much better than Ivan’s for sure. He had to look away, ah… roof shingles…

And the fact that he doesn't notice it's the same reaction that Alfred had...and that Ivan asumed it meant he wasn't good at puppy-pouting..oh, Ivan, you and your insecurities <3

She was not even that pretty, with her poorly done concealer, and disproportionately small nose. Ivan huffed

Especially the nose. The slutXD

Thank you so much~

Your comment seriously made my day. You picked out all the stuff that I love the most about Ivan. Thank you so much anon <3

Rapetruck!Russia is officially less disturbing than sociopath!Australia.

Oooooookay, so it's not just me? Because this is horrifying and there are really people out there that are this bugfuck crazy and-- *runs off to buy more ammo*

The last two lines in your comment would normally make me propose Internet marriage, but asking that on this fill is kind of horrifying, so ... *brofist*

The voices are great in this - the contrast between the section from Lithuania's POV and the America sections is quite nice, neither sounds weird or artificial but they're quite different, as they should be.

And the banter between America and Canada is charming :)

Looking forward to more!

Electric kettles turn themselves off once the water has boiled, so it's not possible to burn water unless the thing's broken. The sound of water boiling is fairly loud so it's hard to miss so long as you don't wander too far. Other than that, there's just the click of the kettle turning off to let you know that it's done.

My last kettle glowed a fetching blue colour when it was on as well, but my current one is a bit cheaper.

An obnoxious sound I can't ignore would get me my caffeine faster, but at least the worst that could happen would be the forgetting my water for ages. (I do wander ... OTL) But it's probably worth it, I'd think, not having to hear that horrible screaming/screeching noise on your way to pull the kettle off the fire.

Yeah, that's probably not worth the additional money, but it is just cool. :D

I just figured out that not having a tea kettle to a Brit is pretty much the equivalent of not having a rice cooker to a Japanese person. It's the exact same "Wait, how the hell can you not have a ...?" kind of reaction. <3

We americans dont have electric kettles but we do have instant tea makers. They're like coffee makers but for tea. I dont like them though as the tea usually comes out weak so I just make it the old fashioned way XD

It's the exact same "Wait, how the hell can you not have a ...?"

I will never admit to the fact that that's the EXACT reaction I had practically word for word and was what caused me to write the bonus in the first place. Dx

Yes, the kettle just.. clicks when it's done. Thank you other anon for clearing that up! (I was at the library, orz)

And YES. I'd get a pic that my Americans showed me of it, but it's basically just a light up one. Seriously, what's the point. xD

Having no screeching/whistling also helps for those midnight cuppas when you don't want to wake anyone else up...

Thank you for the comment! I can see this has been informative for you xD

Oh geez, I don't even have words. This is awesome, authoranon.

~~I need to stop reading fills that make me want to give Iceland a hug.~~

Huh;;; I thought she was refering to the last episode. The one where Alfred's trying to get Kiku to come to his place for Christmas and says 'the cake's not blue, it's pink and glows in the dark!'...though really. Our pastries are obscenely, blindingly bright;;;

We don't have an electric kettle any more we have a tap which only has boiling water too it. INSTANT TEA.

no guys. There is literally a glow in the dark pink cake. google it .

/lazy anon is lazy

Hello lovelies! Authornon is back once more with Prussia x Romano! This is actually for a friend that isn’t on the kinkmeme as was the Spain x Austria~

Lovino really, really would have preferred to just go to sleep right then. He was comfortable; his arms curled around the pale body that draped over his and his face was nestled into the crook of the man’s neck. In turn, the albino had his cheek against the Italian’s shoulder. Lovino swore he was already asleep…of course, that thought was dashed when he felt a sharp pain in his neck and made a squeak that he would later claim was a swear. Because Italians didn’t squeak, damn it all. He glared at the man, annoyance growing when the red eyes looked up, amusement dancing behind them.

“The fuck was that for?” Lovino put a hand to his neck, checking for blood, “I better not be bleeding, asshole and that better not bruise-oh, fuck off!” He pushed Gilbert off when he made to bite the mark again and quickly wrapped himself in a sheet, never mind the heat was unwelcome at the time. It was protecting his neck and that was all that mattered.

“You didn’t say I couldn’t leave marks.” Gilbert countered calmly, grin still on his face, as he pulled the bundled Italian back into his lap. He ignored the growl of protest and set about nuzzling at the covered column of flesh, tugging at the sheet with his teeth, “Come on, at least let me put a matching one on this side.”

Lovino merely pulled the blanket tighter, glaring down the pale back as Gilbert continued trying to get at his neck. Faint scars decorated his entire body, though he wasn’t too surprised. Lovino had his share and given the size that Prussian empire had once been, it was no real surprise. A particularly dark one caught his interest and he temporarily forgot his death grip on the blanket in favour of trying to get a better look at it.

All interest was lost as he simultaneously felt cold air on bare skin, another sharp pain, and the annoyance of having cold air agitating a fresh wound. He made to punch the man, annoyed by the mark; still, he wasn’t too surprised when it merely got him pinned to the bed. He scowled into the annoyingly smug smirk that was hovering over him, “Ok. You win cabbage-head. Can we please go to sleep now? We have shit to do in the morning-.”

“One, oh violent tomato, it is morning. 1:53, to be exact.” Gilbert grinned when Lovino’s face began to turn red, “Two…we don’t have shit to do. We have the rest of eternity-or whatever the world deems as eternity for those of us that don’t exist- to do whatever the fuck we want.” Any protest the Italian had was cut off by a deep kiss and Lovino relaxed enough for Gilbert to release the pin-grip he had on his wrists. Lovino could live with that; it wasn’t like he didn’t have to figure everything out immediately. Still, there was one thing he had to finish before the end of the night….

Gilbert was pleased that he’d managed to calm the Italian back into an agreeable mood. Marathon sex didn’t quite work if the second party was trying to maim the first party…though when he thought about it--.

“Ow! Mother of—the Hell was that for?!” Gilbert glared at the smug grin on Lovino’s face. He gingerly pressed two fingers to the bite mark on his shoulder, only vaguely surprised when he felt a tiny trail of blood.

“Payback. You’re not the only one leaving claims, asshole. Shit don’t work that way.” The shock on his face was worth it, Lovino decided…even if that shock did turn into a sadistic grin before Gilbert began an assault on his curl. Second priority: after awesome sex, set rules about touching the damn curl.

Yeah, hi~ PruMano is ~~one of my biggest OTPs~~ ~~my secret fetish~~ one of my favourite pairs. …Righto~ I have to go get ready for work *sigh* but I should have more late tonight/early tomorrow~ If anyone’s curious about the list of pairs I do have planned: SuFin, Russia x America, Netherlands x Denmark, Russia x England, RussPruss, Japan x Korea, and, if OP doesn’t mind second fills, LietPol and USEngland. SuFin and RusAme are first because, lawl, OP asked for those a while back and I’ve been a bad anon and kinda forgot until friend who asked for this asked for SuFin and I went “…OHSHI—!” orz;

Matthew stared, first at “Australia,” then at America in her balcony seat, and then back at the crazy Australian. “Her what?”

Australia stopped, examined Matthew’s face and scowled. “Dude, I sent you an e-mail. It explained everything. Didn’t you get it?”

“Er,” said Matthew, wracking his brain. “It must have gotten caught in my spam filter…?

Australia snorted. He lowered his fists and popped a crick out of his neck, looking like a cowboy who had just dismounted from an ostrich and didn’t see a thing wrong with the situation. “Ah, well, can’t be helped. I guess it doesn’t matter.”

Matthew sighed and let himself relax.

“What matters is that I’m here to kick your ass!”

Matthew yelped, dropped Kumajiro and leaned back just enough to avoid Australia’s flailing punch. It brushed his nose, leaving a gust of wind that made him sneeze. Then Australia was on him again, swinging wild punches with such force that Matthew knew a solid hit would literally send him flying.

So he weaved and dodged, hopping across the stage, weaving between equipment and muttering apologies to the members of Bad Friends. Finally, he saw an opportunity, deflected Australia’s straight punch and followed the counter with an uppercut to the jaw. Australia was flung three feet into the air, flipped head-over-heels and slid across the stage, leaving skid marks on the stage.

“Crikey,” he swore, rubbing his now-swollen jaw. “Didn’t think yer scrawny arms could hit that hard.”

“Dude,” said Gilbert from behind. “He’s the best hockey player in the province, of course he knows how to fight.”

“Should we do something?” Antonio asked.

“Naw. I already took out a bet with the stage manager. Let’s just sit back and watch Mattie beat this guy into the ground.”

Matthew rolled his eyes. “Thank you so much for your support, Gilbert.”

Australia chuckled, wiping his lip on his sleeve. “Heh, so you’re tougher than you look. Big whoop. Let’s see how you handle my Joey.”

“Joey?” Matthew squeaked, and that was all he got out before Australia threw the koala at him.

It was the single most terrifying creature that Matthew had ever seen. Its claws and teeth seemed equally long and sharp, and his eyes were sharp pinpricks of red. Matthew raised his arms in self-defense and cringed away, hoping the beast was not as rabid as he looked.

With a snarl and a growl, Kumajiro leapt from the floor and met the koala in mid-air. The koala let out a beastly yell as they stuck the floor, rolling about in a ball of fur, claws and fury.

“Kumadara!” Matthew called off the edge of the stage, twisting after them.

Australia lunged into the fray again, and Matthew took a blow on the shoulder before he could leapt away, mounting an amp to get away. The Australian laughed aloud. “Your dumb dog’s not gonna save you, Williams.”

“He’s a polar bear!” Matthew snapped, using the amp for extra air. He clung to the balcony railing, twisted around and scowled down at his opponent in annoyance. “And what the hell kind of name is Australia anyway?”

“It’s a nickname,” said America, and Matthew realized that she was leaning on the rail beside him, her arms folded beneath her head. “I think he’s forgotten his real one. We called him that because that’s where he came from.”

“‘We’?”

“Us boarding school kids. America was as far as his parents could afford to send him. He transferred in during seventh grade.”

“And you dated him?”

America shrugged. “I had a thing for foreigners. Besides, with all those wild animals he kept around, nobody wanted to get near him; and I was going through an anti-social phase. Still, making out in places that always smelled like poop really got old. After a week, I told him to take a hike.”

“Bite yer bum, you lousy bitch!” Australia shouted from the floor. “And you, you wuss, get your date back down here and face me like a man!”

“You’re the one throwing wild animals around!” Matthew shot back. His eyes scuttled along the floor to where Kumajiro and Joey were fighting. The little polar bear was more than holding his own, which was impressive given how bizarrely fast the teeny koala was with his slashes and bites. Kumajiro was slower and heavier, but his blows were significantly more solid, knocking the smaller creature around right up until Joey got a lucky shot, leaving a long red slash across Kumajiro’s neck.

Matthew saw red. “Hey!” he shouted, leaping from the balcony. “Nobody hurts my bear!”

Australia darted between him and the animals, blocking his kick. Matthew slammed into his shoulders, twisted in midair and landed a roundhouse kick right in Australia’s ear.

“Out of my way!” he shouted, landing for a split second before vaulting over his still-falling opponent.

Joey the Koala looked up from his assault just before Matthew hit him, snatching him from the ground with both hands. Matthew flung the koala like a curling stone, slamming him straight into his owner’s stomach. Australia doubled over, winded, and Matthew snatched Kumajiro from the floor.

“Kumaichi,” he gasped. “Are you okay?”

The polar looked at him as though he were an idiot and made an annoyed little sound. The cut was not deep, and only a small trickle of blood was making its way through the white fur. Kumajiro seemed only to be annoyed by the fact that he hadn’t been able to put the koala in its place himself.

Matthew relaxed with a sigh. “Jeez. You really scared me, you big lug.”

“Oi!”

Matthew turned and caught Australia’s punch with the hand that wasn’t holding his bear. The two fighters were left at a stalemate with pets in their off-hands and only inches between them. The audience ooh’ed in appreciation.

“You really think you’re tough,” Australia said in a low tone that only Matthew could hear. “But you have no idea what you’re in for. Shacking up with that girl is gonna prove the worst mistake of your goddamn life.”

“You don’t know anything about my life,” Matthew said, and slung Kumajiro onto his back. He wound up his arm and landed the hardest uppercut he’d ever struck, right under Australia’s chin.

Australia went flying straight into the light array, striking the catwalk with a resounding crash. There was a crackle of light, and then he was gone, a handful of coins falling to the ground in his place.

Matthew blinked, pulling Kumajiro from his back and knelling to collect the change. “Hey, cool. Coins.”

Francis leaned over his keyboard and blew a layer of rubble dust from his equipment. “Well, that was certainly an interesting show.”

“Very,” muttered Roderich, wandering down from the stairs. He glanced to Elizaveta with a tired, aggravated expression. “May we go now?”

Elizaveta clicked her tongue and wrapped herself around his arm. “Come on, honey, it’s still early enough to catch some dinner.”

America popped up in their wake and went straight to Matthew, who was counting the coins that now lay across his open palm. “How much did he leave?”

“Two-fifty,” Matthew said with a frown. “Cheapskate. That won’t even buy a bus ticket home.”

“I’ll lend you the quarter.” America grabbed his arm and pulled him from the club. “C’mon, let’s get out of here before your housemates start asking questions. I totally don’t want to deal with that right now.”

( - )

Psssh. You want instant hot water for tea?

Microwave that shit.

American assimilation, FTW.

xD Though seriously, this was awesome.

Honestly, the cake thing doesn't surprise me. We like our food to cater to our ADD-ness. And truly, you can forgive us for our frosting choices by having amazing things like Cake Boss. Even if you're wary of eating the cake, you have to admit that it looks bad ass.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzUUCte9p6M

Half an hour later found the pair sitting near the back of a city bus, in a way that was not entirely comfortable. Matthew held Kumajiro in his lap. The polar bear was now asleep and sporting a cute red bandana that worked as a makeshift bandage. It had come from America’s handbag, which appeared to be hand-sewn with the number 50 stitched onto the side but also managed to contain her roller blades, protective pads, goggles, spare outfits and god knows what else.

After riding in silence for a little while, America scratched the sleeping bear behind his ear. “The little guy okay?”

“He’ll be fine. He’s…tough.” Matthew pet his friend’s neck. He let his eyes trail from the bandana to America, looking at her from the corner of his eye. “So, what was that all about?”

“You mean the psychotic ex-boyfriend diving through the roof, ruining your friends’ concert and trying to kill you?”

Matthew nodded.

America took a deep breath, ran a hand through her red-white-and-blue streaks and glanced out the dark window. “To tell the truth, Mattie…If you want to keep dating me, you may have to defeat my seven evil exes.”

“…” Matthew absorbed that information. “You have seven evil ex-boyfriends?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call some of them ‘boyfriends,’” said America with a shrug. “And some of them aren’t actually evil. They’re just…clingy. Fanboys, really.”

“Oh,” said Matthew, staring straight ahead. “So, I have to fight –”

“Defeat.”

“– defeat your seven evil ex-boyfriends-dash-fanboys so we can keep dating?”

America nodded sagely. “That’s the long and short of it.”

“Oh. Okay.”

He sat there in silence for a moment, staring at the back of the seat in front of them. America watched him for a moment, laid her head on top of the same seat and watched him with gentle eyes. “Do you not want to do this anymore? Because I’ll totally understand.”

“No, I want to,” Matthew said, and he had been so certain of something before in his life.

“You’re sure?”

He took her hand and smiled. “I’m totally sure.”

America grinned. “Does that mean we can make out?”

“Let’s.”

She pulled him closer, and all thoughts of evil exes went out the window. Kumajiro woke up for a moment, watched them, rolled his eyes and went back to sleep. He didn’t wake up again until the bus reached its final stop.

Uncomfortable!anon here; glad you didn't take offense! Last time I pointed out something I found off was... not pleasant.

OH AMERICA YOU SMOOTH TALKER YOU ♥♥♥

So, so much love for your characterization, I can't even.

Captcha: "rialed censures" Now, look here...

Anon has decided to change her plot slightly. Roderich is going to stay a Jew, because…Toris can’t be the only one…and Ludwig and Gilbert are going to be internal resistance fighters. Prussians were known for their internal resistance during the Nazi Regime.

I’m nothing if not a people-pleaser. I hope this pleases the vast majority of people!

--

Elizaveta Hérdérvary sat on her bed, staring out at the snowy streets of West Berlin. Christmas had been three days prior, and though she didn’t have anything to show for the holiday (In these times, gift-giving wasn’t practical) she was still happy with how the holiday had turned out. She’d taken her ration book to the market and got a pound of potatoes, as well as a few ham bones to make a hearty stew.

The room was quiet and dark at the moment. Power was very touchy this time of year, and as a poor Hungarian immigrant, she didn’t really have the money to pay for electric. This meant she had to turn to artificial light and the small fireplace in the living room of her ground-floor apartment.

A ball of white fur hopped onto the bed beside her, and she smiled at the dog. “Hello, Hanatamago.”

Hanatamago was the dog belonging to her roommates (If you could even use that term) Berwald and Tino. The two men weren’t as much living with her as hiding in her apartment, in a small cellar-like room her neighbor Roderich had helped her gauge out into the earth under the wooden floorboards.

Not much was known about the two blonde men she harbored. She knew Berwald was a Swedish carpenter, and Tino was a rather Bohemian Finnish painter, and that they’d been trying to get back to Sweden from France when they’d gotten stuck in Germany. She also knew that they were on the German military’s radar as homosexuals and had to hide.

The story of how she found them was rather confusing. They had been hiding out in the broom closet of an old, abandoned store and Tino had fallen sick. Berwald had been desperate enough to get his lover medical attention that he’d gone to the first person he could find on the street, (Namely, Elizaveta) claiming Tino was his brother and dragging Elizaveta back into the store.

Elizaveta had no previous medical training, but her mother had been a nurse so she knew a thing or two. Tino had been under the effects of a rather bad fever, and they ended up having to take him back to her home and get him in front of the fire. Things were so bad that they couldn’t afford medication, so she’d gotten Tino comfortable and she and Berwald prayed for a miracle.

God was merciful, it appeared. Tino had come out of delirium after four days of senselessness, and had only just gotten healthy enough to start walking around again. At the moment, he was sitting on the floor in front of the fire, reading a Finnish novel which she’d been told by Berwald was the one he’d been carrying around since they started on their journey. He claimed it was his favorite, but Elizaveta assumed it just reminded him of his native Finland.

The day she’d found out they weren’t brothers was rather comical. She’d come back from shopping to find Berwald’s hand in a rather compromising place on Tino’s body, the Finn moaning with his legs spread rather wide. Elizaveta had to be sat down and handed a hot cup of tea before she’d listen to reason.

Tino and Berwald had been ready to leave, but she had actually been the one to insist they stay with her. The hole in the ground had been started so her neighbor, a Jewish man named Roderich, would have someplace to hide should the SS come knocking. It could easily fit two people, but three (Especially when one of them was of Berwald’s size) was iffy.

So they’d devised a devious plan. They’d gone to the jeweler and had two cheep wedding bands made. Should the Nazis come through, she and Berwald would put on said rings and pose as spouses while Tino and Roderich hid in the hatch. Berwald had been unsure of the plan, but Tino had pointed out that he was the more obviously effeminate of the two and that Roderich would be given away by the Star of David sewn into the arm of all of his jackets.

It really was the only solution, and Berwald had agreed.

Quite suddenly, a noise that could only be a gunshot rang out into the quiet night.

This is the writer!Anon. Just so you know, I had to water this down a LOT to get it to fit... :/ I'll probably post it on FFN under the same name, sometime soon, and that'll be the...unwatered version? lol, whatever, it'll have the parts I didn't cut out.

And just so I can set the record straight, I love Ludwig. I honestly do. He was gonna be a good guard! But I see where everyone is coming from and I'm nothing if not a people pleaser, so I felt the need to change it. I hope everything goes alright.

This is only half of the chapter I had finished, so that'll be posted really soon. I have a tendancy to make things epic, so expect epicness when it comes to length. :)

Duuuude, it WAS in episode 20. At about 3:20. And I blocked out the trauma because the picture of the blue cake was too disturbing. J-just just just no. Why. My nation. Why.

spurred by a different story discussing electric kettles i looked it up and you can get them on amazon, definitely more expensive than 8$, 13$ up but have a wide selection at least 40 for under 25$. also the coffee machines i'm familiar with you can just take the coffee out and go through the same steps to get hot water without the coffee.

“Don’t you dare let anyone else secede from you again or I’ll castrate you.”

That line is a lot funnier when you know that Australia probably has more micronations within its borders then the rest of the world put together.

> Matthew flung the koala like a curling stone

> like a curling stone

> curling stone

lakjfghlakdfjghlakjfhgajv that is hands down the best metaphor/simile/whatever-the-heck-it's-called I've come across involving Canada. Just. yes.

Also, am totally amused that America is the one who initiated the makeout scene. Keep being awesome, anon! XD ♥

Oh Canada, why must you always reduce the awesome people of the world to tears? ~~/discreetly hi-fives Canada~~

This was simply brilliant, anon, and I definitely wouldn't mind that omake. Go write it, go go go! /o/

Hetalia Kink meme part 14 -- CLOSED

Re: Exposé (1/?)

Author Anon just has to say...

Random!Anon

Re: Of those saved. [1d/?]

Re: Vignettes of two cultures: Bonus

Thanks! :D

Re: Vignettes of two cultures: Bonus

AuthorAnon

Re: Personal [part 2c of 2c]

Re: Vignettes of two cultures: Bonus

Re: Vignettes of two cultures: Bonus

Re: Vignettes of two cultures: Bonus

No Tomorrow

Matthew Williams Versus the World [4a/?]

Matthew Williams Versus the World [4b/?]

Re: Vignettes of two cultures: Bonus

Matthew Williams Versus the World [4c/?]

Re: Tall, Dark, and Handsome [4e/?]

Light of Despair - Part 1/?

Re: Human AU - Nations helping each other through the Concentration Camps

Re: Vignettes of two cultures: Bonus

Re: Vignettes of two cultures: Bonus

Re: The conception of Wy 5/5

Re: Matthew Williams Versus the World [4c/?]

Re: Gilbert does the radio... awesomely. [2/2]