First of all I have to say that this just blew me away. Your writing is so strong.
When I got to "and Canada looked just like his brother. Only America's eyes were full of fire, blue flames and heat like the sun, and Canada's were blue ice, snow and frost and the killing cold both he and Russia walked with," I actually had to get up from my chair and go into the other room. It was because of the pacing, I think -- the gradual crescendo of emotions -- that would probably be why this line hit me so hard.
The only thing that bothered me a bit is what came after that. I love how you gave Matthew a backbone. I love how you made Canada and America newly-reconciled brothers. The only thing is when you're talking about the fire and ice in their eyes, it feels like you're saying that they are the same. And it's such a large part of Canadian identity to deny that.
...then again, maybe that's what makes this story so powerful.
Re: Twin Eagles II
When I got to "and Canada looked just like his brother. Only America's eyes were full of fire, blue flames and heat like the sun, and Canada's were blue ice, snow and frost and the killing cold both he and Russia walked with," I actually had to get up from my chair and go into the other room. It was because of the pacing, I think -- the gradual crescendo of emotions -- that would probably be why this line hit me so hard.
The only thing that bothered me a bit is what came after that. I love how you gave Matthew a backbone. I love how you made Canada and America newly-reconciled brothers. The only thing is when you're talking about the fire and ice in their eyes, it feels like you're saying that they are the same. And it's such a large part of Canadian identity to deny that.
...then again, maybe that's what makes this story so powerful.