“Even if that is the case, Holland...” Estonia takes a breath, trying to think of just how to say it. “The truth is, I'm asexual. So.. Whatever it is that you're thinking or hoping... I've had a lot of bad relationships, and I finally was able to find out that was the reason why. So if...” He pulled his hands away from the Dutchman's, placing the fingertips of his left hand against his lips as he thinks. “If you're doing this because you're attracted to me...”
“What?” He repeats it because it just sounds so unbelievable. “What? Asexual? But if it's just that you've had bad experiences before, then maybe the right person--”
“I had bad experiences because I was, for the most part.”
“You're joking, right? I get it! You just don't like this either, and all that stuff you were talking about before about being accepting and shit--”
“Holland. Please, calm down. That's not it at all. You're a wonderful man, But just...” He readjusts his glasses, frowning and looking around awkwardly, patting the Dutchman's hand.
“The truth is that I've just never had a sexual attraction to anyone. And you... obviously have those urges, it wouldn't be right to just let you think all this time that maybe you have a chance if I did stick around...”
The western nation takes away his hand, standing up and leaving his mostly untouched coffee. Looking down at Estonia, there's not even anything he can think of to say. He swallows the lump in his throat, first and foremost.
“I'll e-mail the documents to you.”
He heads back outside as quickly as he entered the café, leaving confusion behind in his absence. It's not as if he even knew what he was expecting as he went in, but he wasn't expecting nothing.
Unlocking his bicycle, he sits and holds on to the handlebars in quiet reflection. Part of him doesn't want to leave, but he's starting to until he feels a hand press against his shoulder. He looks up and notices the Estonian, although he quickly averts his eyes away.
The blonde slides both arms around his shoulders, leaning down and trying to pull the Dutchman closer. He leans closer and presses his lips to the surprised brunette's, giving him an apologetic half-smile as he pulls out of the chaste kiss just as quick. “Estland...” He mutters softly, furrowing his brow as he looks up at the other. “I thought you said you weren't into sex and all.”
Estonia pulls one of his hands away just in time to laugh into it, clearly flustered before he can come up with a witty retort. “But this isn't sex, is it?” The Netherlands doesn't respond to that, and Estonia places a hand lightly back on his cheek. In encouragement, he strokes his thumb lightly against skin. “Holland, I really do think you're a nice man. If only it would be fair to you still, I might.. Have agreed to stay around. I just think you have some things going on in your life... That you need to take care of yourself. Not worry and think about me.”
It's not the worse advice he's ever gotten, and he can't really argue against it. He's a bit happy at the small kiss, even though he then immediately starts to fret that he's so out in the open and someone could have seen.
“I hope you get everything situated.”
He nods, wrapping an arm around the Estonian in a quick psuedo-hug.
In reality though, his stomach is souring because he knows it means the next step would be to see his sister.
------------ I had to rewrite most of this because of a program crash. orz. some small notes: an 'onnagata' is a Kabuki actor who plays the roll of women. from what I've seen, Kabuki actors as well were also available for.. after-hour services. The little tidbits of Dutch-Estonian relations are also true.
Also, I hope that OP doesn't mind I kind of used this to touch on more kind of sexual identity issues either, with the asexuality. D: Asexual doesn't even really mean that they shun relationships, rather just having no interest whatsoever in sex.
De Wallen [11/?]
“What?” He repeats it because it just sounds so unbelievable. “What? Asexual? But if it's just that you've had bad experiences before, then maybe the right person--”
“I had bad experiences because I was, for the most part.”
“You're joking, right? I get it! You just don't like this either, and all that stuff you were talking about before about being accepting and shit--”
“Holland. Please, calm down. That's not it at all. You're a wonderful man, But just...” He readjusts his glasses, frowning and looking around awkwardly, patting the Dutchman's hand.
“The truth is that I've just never had a sexual attraction to anyone. And you... obviously have those urges, it wouldn't be right to just let you think all this time that maybe you have a chance if I did stick around...”
The western nation takes away his hand, standing up and leaving his mostly untouched coffee. Looking down at Estonia, there's not even anything he can think of to say. He swallows the lump in his throat, first and foremost.
“I'll e-mail the documents to you.”
He heads back outside as quickly as he entered the café, leaving confusion behind in his absence. It's not as if he even knew what he was expecting as he went in, but he wasn't expecting nothing.
Unlocking his bicycle, he sits and holds on to the handlebars in quiet reflection. Part of him doesn't want to leave, but he's starting to until he feels a hand press against his shoulder. He looks up and notices the Estonian, although he quickly averts his eyes away.
The blonde slides both arms around his shoulders, leaning down and trying to pull the Dutchman closer. He leans closer and presses his lips to the surprised brunette's, giving him an apologetic half-smile as he pulls out of the chaste kiss just as quick. “Estland...” He mutters softly, furrowing his brow as he looks up at the other. “I thought you said you weren't into sex and all.”
Estonia pulls one of his hands away just in time to laugh into it, clearly flustered before he can come up with a witty retort. “But this isn't sex, is it?” The Netherlands doesn't respond to that, and Estonia places a hand lightly back on his cheek. In encouragement, he strokes his thumb lightly against skin. “Holland, I really do think you're a nice man. If only it would be fair to you still, I might.. Have agreed to stay around. I just think you have some things going on in your life... That you need to take care of yourself. Not worry and think about me.”
It's not the worse advice he's ever gotten, and he can't really argue against it. He's a bit happy at the small kiss, even though he then immediately starts to fret that he's so out in the open and someone could have seen.
“I hope you get everything situated.”
He nods, wrapping an arm around the Estonian in a quick psuedo-hug.
In reality though, his stomach is souring because he knows it means the next step would be to see his sister.
------------
I had to rewrite most of this because of a program crash. orz.
some small notes:
an 'onnagata' is a Kabuki actor who plays the roll of women. from what I've seen, Kabuki actors as well were also available for.. after-hour services.
The little tidbits of Dutch-Estonian relations are also true.
Also, I hope that OP doesn't mind I kind of used this to touch on more kind of sexual identity issues either, with the asexuality. D: Asexual doesn't even really mean that they shun relationships, rather just having no interest whatsoever in sex.
And yessss. Belgium and such coming up~