Norway watched, annoyed, as Iceland tucked the newspaper under his arm and pocketed the change without checking it. He knew it was wrong – Ice had given the newsagent a 50 kroner note and received back a meagre handful of coins. The newspaper only cost 8kr.
He sighed to himself. Iceland was becoming more and more irresponsible with money and it was reflecting in his nation’s dire financial position. Norway swore he once saw Iceland start a fire in the hearth with a wad of cash because he’d been too lazy to go out back and chop wood.
And it was affecting Norway’s personal life too. To save money, Iceland had weaselled his way back into living with him and Denmark which meant there was no more impromptu breakfast counter sex or court yard sex or Denmark’s library sex. Their not-so-secret ‘toy’ stash had to be tucked away out of sight and it was no longer possible to walk around in their full glory when clothes were too bothersome. Iceland also didn’t do his share of the chores: disappearing from the kitchen when the dishes were piled high, complaining there were too many spiders outside to do the weeding or simply hiding in the attic playing on his gameboy for hours leaving Norway to clean the gutters out by himself.
And for the past two months, Iceland had been whining to Norway and asking for money. He’d gotten by originally with buying Iceland this and that and maybe a 100kr note every now and then, but Iceland started asking for more valuable things. Contracts. Low interest loans. Sustainable energy grants. Trade deals to import endangered spotted female pelican eggs from the southern-most harbours of Equatorial Guinea. The price tags started going up and up and the requests became more and more outrageous.
Fed up, Norway decided to teach his little brother a lesson.
Which is why the pair of them were standing outside the Norwegian National Bank at midnight. Norway was holding the torch while Iceland was pushing an empty wheelbarrow.
“Now remember,” said Norway, stealthily unlocking the large brass padlock which secured the front doors, “This is all under the counter. My country can’t be seen to be giving you the money to bail you out, so you’ve got one hour to fill the wheelbarrow with as much cash and gold bars as you can carry. That way, I can claim it was a bank accounting error or something and you can keep it without anyone getting suspicious.”
Iceland bounced along happily, following Norway to the vault. Norway inputted the secret code and spun the handle, the door opening with an impressive hiss. Iceland ran inside and started pulling bags of notes from the shelves, not even caring that there was a security camera watching his every move. Geez his brother was thick sometimes.
A few coins spilled from a pile in the far corner of the vault which Iceland hadn’t gone near, but Ice didn’t notice, instead stuffing his pockets with government bond certificates. That was Norway’s cue. He stepped outside and quickly pushed the door of the vault shut.
Iceland x tentacle monster - 1/2
A/N: This is crack! Not serious!
Norway watched, annoyed, as Iceland tucked the newspaper under his arm and pocketed the change without checking it. He knew it was wrong – Ice had given the newsagent a 50 kroner note and received back a meagre handful of coins. The newspaper only cost 8kr.
He sighed to himself. Iceland was becoming more and more irresponsible with money and it was reflecting in his nation’s dire financial position. Norway swore he once saw Iceland start a fire in the hearth with a wad of cash because he’d been too lazy to go out back and chop wood.
And it was affecting Norway’s personal life too. To save money, Iceland had weaselled his way back into living with him and Denmark which meant there was no more impromptu breakfast counter sex or court yard sex or Denmark’s library sex. Their not-so-secret ‘toy’ stash had to be tucked away out of sight and it was no longer possible to walk around in their full glory when clothes were too bothersome. Iceland also didn’t do his share of the chores: disappearing from the kitchen when the dishes were piled high, complaining there were too many spiders outside to do the weeding or simply hiding in the attic playing on his gameboy for hours leaving Norway to clean the gutters out by himself.
And for the past two months, Iceland had been whining to Norway and asking for money. He’d gotten by originally with buying Iceland this and that and maybe a 100kr note every now and then, but Iceland started asking for more valuable things. Contracts. Low interest loans. Sustainable energy grants. Trade deals to import endangered spotted female pelican eggs from the southern-most harbours of Equatorial Guinea. The price tags started going up and up and the requests became more and more outrageous.
Fed up, Norway decided to teach his little brother a lesson.
Which is why the pair of them were standing outside the Norwegian National Bank at midnight. Norway was holding the torch while Iceland was pushing an empty wheelbarrow.
“Now remember,” said Norway, stealthily unlocking the large brass padlock which secured the front doors, “This is all under the counter. My country can’t be seen to be giving you the money to bail you out, so you’ve got one hour to fill the wheelbarrow with as much cash and gold bars as you can carry. That way, I can claim it was a bank accounting error or something and you can keep it without anyone getting suspicious.”
Iceland bounced along happily, following Norway to the vault. Norway inputted the secret code and spun the handle, the door opening with an impressive hiss. Iceland ran inside and started pulling bags of notes from the shelves, not even caring that there was a security camera watching his every move. Geez his brother was thick sometimes.
A few coins spilled from a pile in the far corner of the vault which Iceland hadn’t gone near, but Ice didn’t notice, instead stuffing his pockets with government bond certificates. That was Norway’s cue. He stepped outside and quickly pushed the door of the vault shut.